My friend is going through one of those phases again...?

Question

My friend and crush (27 year old) has gone through one of her "I want to be alone" times again! She does not reply to my text messages and does not answer my phone calls. We've known each other since march and started talking in June. About a month ago I was brave enough to tell her how I felt about her and she indicated she had always felt the same way about me. Things though have been kind of shaky..just minor stuff like my disaproval of her going out to bars with her brother and friends and calling me in the early hours of the morning (around 3am-5am) all drunk. But otherwise we would still talk and discuss our plans to go out more often. Last week she started opening up to me about her feelings and has started to text me "xoxo" and callin me "babe" and "honey" more often during our conversations and telling me how I'm always first on her mind when she wakes up and goes to sleep...I've responded in kind and told her how much I care for her...then suddenly I have not heard from her since sunday afternoon. She wont reply to my texts so I've stopped since late sunday...I know she's ok although i hear she is quite occupied with her daughter and nephew and grandmother have moved in with her. But why wouldnt she just at least let me know everything is ok? I miss her and I'm tempted to call her and even text her again, but I'm afraid I'll push her away since I know for one she doesnt like to be smothered and likes some alone time. I would like to know from some of you girls out there if theres a cause for all this kind of silence. I do not intend on giving up on her since we are not officially in a relationship, but I do miss my friend...I know its only been two days but not hearing from her is like an eternity. Please friends, I only want mature answers..

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I know it's tough to deal with stuff like this. I am really into a girl who does this... They let you get close, but then they pull back when they get in those moods. You care so you don't walk away, but you don't want to seem too pushy. Just let her know that you're there, still around for her, and then as this runs its course wait it out. As you already know, don't smother her or bug her, but let her know you're still available. It's tough, I know.

Bittersweet xx · Answer

I think maybe she just needs some space. It's like you said, she doesn't like being smothered, so maybe she just needs some time out from it all? Family issues can really take up your mind, maybe she keeps meaning to call you, but keeps getting distracted with their problems? Just let her know you're there for her, maybe an occasional phone call/message, or just talk to her whenever you bump into/see each other next.

It's hard not knowing what's going on, but from what you've said, she seems to feel the same way about you, so just give her time.

Ruby Jane · Answer

Sounds to me like you care very much for this person...maybe it's love.
Why not...go around to where she lives and just tell her that she has been on your mind lately and that you hope with all  that's been going on with her lately that you hope she is doing ok.
At least by you visiting her...you should get some vibes as to her reaction to towards you.

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My friend is going through one of those phases again...?

3 Answers