Why do so many women/young ladies lack self respect?

Hello Mr. O, I thank you for tackling this issue, as me myself noticed the same thing. That it is true, many women today are having problem in finding their self worth and at the same time trying to compete with men. Lets accept the fact that men and women are differs in many ways and cannot be the same. Men thinks different than the women as well as they act. But as we both deserve to be love, respect and understands. Women should not compete and treat themselves like a whore in front of their mates. They have to set a standard of what is respectable women. I have no questions for those women who understands, give love and respect to their mates or spouses but just to make sure that she is not forgetting herself. Many women loves to complain, many women couldn't be truly happy, disoriented and so on, why? They forgetting the true love and happiness. And yet we are in the world of internet where many which supposed not to be known can be known. And many women are just showing the reality of women's life.

Many people go through life assuming that they understand a specific subject, mainly because they believe the current commonly held position. It is no different with the subject of respect. Some people do not truly understand the definition of the word—they only think they do.

In a nutshell, they simply do not know any better. Years of social, psychological, and, emotional propaganda, at it's best. Men and women are taught respect in very different ways.

Also, many women are by nature very loving, nurturing, and forgiving. Those traits help us see the good in people that we love. Women will never give up on someone that they truly love. So, in many cases it's not really a lack of self respect, it's a belief that you can fix this situation and make everything all right again.

O, What your question doesn't seem to address is the fact that men and women continually evolve - but they don't necessarily evolve together, on the same plane at the same time and in the same direction. Very interesting question.......

HANG IN THERE O!

You are a young woman so let me break down some faulty logic for you. With marriage there is status, protection, money, security and those reasons become more important to women who have had the pleasure of being with their husband. Now a mistress versus wife issue. Not sure what this is about, but I will say this. A mistress will lose the contest most of the time. Really the mistress is nothing. She is a form of masturbation for the man. He has nothing invested with her but his C***. Men know this and will usually use a mistress for the forms of sexual acts that a wife may not perform. A wife might be fine with that. The only concern is that the husband doesn't bring back a disease. In the end, usually a wife might look past cheating because it is a symptom of a problem the husband is having. Sexually, mentally, or emotionally there are reasons men cheat... Any woman who sleeps with a married man....statement...well that is too broad a statement. Each woman will have their own reasons for sleeping with whomever they choose. Some girls sleep with a man not realizing they are married and then their emotions are involved and then they find it difficult to disengage from the person. So I personally don't buy the judgemental attitude. This is not a one size fits all universe. Each individual is different. Sorry, the adages may have fit in a different time and place... After all, Hillary is still married to Bill and Monica is no where to be found.

When a woman has been verbally or physically abused since her childhood, if while growing up she doesn't understand that she clearly has emotional issues to deal with, it will be impossible for her to understand reality. These women are convinced, that anything bad that happens to them, is their fault. Unfortunately, it becomes a "vicious cycle" once they themselves have children and raise them. Lack of self esteem can literally break any person, be it woman or man. There is so much information out there today, in this era, that not seeking help would be like committing suicide. Women stay often in abusive relationship, because they are emotionally too weak or have given up on a "positive change" for their lives and the lives of their children. They think that the "bad luck" will somehow go away by itself and even convince themselves of this "false hope". The minority who finally decides to "leave", have still to face a long and painful "healing process".

It really is the maternal instinct i think. I was with a guy for 7 years. the first 4 were great. He was my soul mate. Then he got addicted to drugs. I had to keep our family together work 2 jobs sometimes to pay for everything. My dad would tell me "your his girlfriend not his guardian.

There are just so many answers to this question. I think most women have low self esteem due to television and what not, therefore they have low self worth and don't think that they deserve any better.

Hi BEAR,

I see you have a stirred the "soup" here and not all of it seems to be tasty.

To try to answer your Q, while not directing anything at the answers you got in a negative sense, I tend to believe that we, (my gender) often brings on, in the form of an invitation, a lack of respect from others in our actions, deeds, behaviors, eventually leading to that bleeding into our own sense of self esteem/respect.

I was raised in a family that was unique, and was taught as much through metaphor, analogy, example and osmosis. There was never an incidence of disrespect, which fostered a lack of self respect.

Example, even if abstract could be, I went to the Doctor the other day, telling him I broke my arm in 3 places. His prescription,,, Stay out of those places.

So much of what we accept is that we are the submissive gender, or are thought to be or expected to be. No offense to your gender strictly. We are often not credited with having the ability to think on our own or are the butt of Blonde Jokes. The fact that so many of my gender might eventually accept that perception, and adopt that attitude, is our own fault, not the accusers/abusers.

Our greatest freedom as a species M & F is CHOICE. Why some deny they have their own minds, can make their own choices, see the manifestation of them, baffles me even at my age, but what I do believe is that it becomes chronic, often lasting a lifetime, and might be as degenerative as a terminal condition.

Using the last word of that sentence, I think that is part of the problem with many. WE have been, or we accept the conditioning. Why? I have no clue. I don't nor will I. I'll never look up to anyone in a strict sense and in my defense I never look down at anyone. If a man chooses to have his own sense about me, then perhaps he better not get close enough to be within an arms length of me.

I think my sole purpose in life is "me" and I don't say that in a self centered way. If I haven't the guts it takes to take care of me, I can hardly expect anyone else to have the strength to.

I know I'm rambling and it's after 2:30 AM YIKES? But to end this, I think a lack of or loss of self respect usually begins from external influences, probably eventually adopted as ones own belief.

I'm gonna go to a river and hope to catch a Salmon. Goodnight BEAR.

Angel

To be quite honest with you, Ive been the girl who not only suffers through an unhealthy, demoralizing relationship but them goes back to it in hopes that time spent apart has inspired him to love me enough to change ... or even try. It didn't. I had lost my appetite, my ability sleep, and my ability to function. I even had another boyfriend who did love me despite the fact that i was still so hung up on the past that i was completely incapable of giving him what he needed form me. This was my first boyfriend and my first love. I do have self respect for myself because i broke up with him about a month ago and i have not gone back to him. I learned something form my relationship and that is harsh reality is that even if you have everything else in common, the one thing you dont have in common is the belief that this relationship can work.

Some of us are taught from a young age via society, parents, or religion that women are submissive to men. For a lot of women that means pick the best one you think you can get and just deal with it.

It's the same as asking why do girls go for the jerk who will treat them bad versus the good guy. Some of us think we deserve the bad one or are to shallow to see that the jerk will be bad for us.

We care about what society and our families think so we choose the one that best meets the standard that has been set for us. It is what it is.

Because sadly this is what the world teaches young people. This is what is portrayed in the media, etc. Parents also seem to do less actual parenting and let their kids get away with everything. Women feel like those are the only guys they can get or they can only get guys by disrespecting themselves because that is what is shown as normal in our society and there seems to be less kind, respectable guys out there anymore so often times girls just give up on trying to act good and respect themselves. Thanks for asking this question. I'm glad someone out there respects us.

For some women, negative attention is better than none at all. Some are in such a rush to marry and feel loved that they settle for less than what they want because they don't know what they want. They just know what hasn't worked in the past. Women compare themselves to celebrities and standards that no "real" woman could come close to. They get plastic surgery to make themselves feel better and sometimes looking worse than they did before. It's sad. A woman should love and respect who she is first before involving a man in her life, I think the choice she makes would be much better.