Ulterior motive invites?

My dear, that would drive me insane. You might want to just bite the bullet and call the person who invited you. Explain why you're asking. If it's one of those parties, they will probably either get really uncomfortable or they'll tell you so up front. And, if it is a true potluck, then the person will probably share your sentiment about being ambushed at the last "pseudo-potluck". You can plan on having a wonderful time!

To answer your second question, leaving is perfectly acceptable. Simply tell the host that you are fortunate in that you have everything you need, and everything you want. Therefore you do not want to waste the time of those who may truly be interested in these products. This will get you out of the immediate situation, and chances are, it will black list you from being invited the next time someone puts one of these little affairs together!

I guess i am just as naive I don't get it so your friend send out invitations or called an invited you to a holiday potluck that was really a direct sales selling event??? Is that correct?

Well being in direct sales I am really surprised If I was taking my time to do an event I would want to know that the host informed the guess what they were attending because as much as you the guest feel duped I the Direct sales person would be wasting my time as well so weather or not you like direct sales isn't the issue it is how you friend presented this event that was completing wrong I guess I might have question why a holiday potluck so early unless she celebrated Halloween.

As for leaving Absolutely if you find that you were misinformed or intentionally misleads I would have turned around and left and yes with my dish. I think I would have to say something to her if you haven't already people are going to think twice before excepting invitations for her again.

As for the future it is perfectly acceptable and polite to ask questions when you are invited somewhere so I would make sure in the future you know exactly what to expect you can even tell then of you previous experience.

First, since you have had this experience, you now have the knowledge to ask beforehand if this party is connected to sales. On the other hand, if you accept an invitation and you find out once you are there that it's a sales party, stay for a moment, and then politely pull the hostess aside and advise them that you were not prepared for a sales party and that you will have to leave. Nobody can stop you. You are the boss of you.

I think it is rude to host a party under the guise of a potluck. I know that's how people do it these days because they know how folks are. Honesty is always the best policy and if they are not honest in their information to you about the party, you have no obligation to stay.

This happened to me once. A friend invited me to a party and KNEW it was a lingerie party. She also knew that if I knew, I would not go. She kept telling me that I would meet someone I had not seen in a long time. My suspision was already up and I drove myself. Once I saw the ladies gathering in the living room and do-dads were being passed out, etc. I nudged my friend and told her I was leaving. The hostess walked to the door and wanted to know what was wrong. I told her that I had been invited without knowledge of the kind of party and I left deceived and as a result, I had no desire to stay. I wasn't angry with her or my friend. But I made a decision - a pointed decision that I had the right to leave. They stayed for 3 hours. Personally, I have better things to do.

When I sold Pampered Chef, I always preferred to make sure the hostess informed the guests of the intention of the party. We would pass out catalogs to the invitees and other activities to get them pumped for the party; it's not just good manners, it's good business, too! There is no way I would have shared time with another person selling stuff, that lady is insane! I don't know how you would suss out if the party was a sales pitch in disguise, but that was horrible of her not to let people know, and stupid, considering that properly warned, some people would have made sure to bring more money or told her they weren't interested and bowed out to keep from wasting the sales person's time.

I think it is absolutely acceptable to leave any place you feel you've been lured to under false pretenses, in fact I think that's the best possible course. She needs to understand that people don't like being lied to or having their time wasted! I would take her to the side and quietly tell her that I felt she hadn't been clear about the purpose of the party and that I wasn't comfortable staying. I would also add that if she wanted to have me over just to socialize that would be fine, but she could leave me out of future sales parties. If she continues to try to trick you into such parties int he future, she may be someone you don't want to socialize with anymore!

BTW: I've never heard of a Pampered Chef party where they had people bring in other food! You want the things you prepare to have center stage, and the host might have one other dish and a drink or something, unless she and/or the salesperson have a couple of other things to illustrate other PC products.

You are perfectly justified in leaving and taking your potluck contribution with you. Why do you feel you had to be polite when you were in fact ambushed and misled? If friends did that to you, it was unconscionable, but if they were not friends, didn't you think the invitation was a little inexplicable? And what a nerve. Most sales "parties" at least provide the refreshments out of their profits.

I would have taken my dish I brought and left and told your so called friend you do not appreciate being tricked like that. The friend should have just hosted a Mary Kay/Pampered Chef party and told people that is what it was. I would have been furious.

The next time EITHER of these so called friends invites you to an event, simply ask if they will be attempting to push their multi-level-marketing scheme on you again, and if not, you'd be glad to attend, but you really hate to see them wasting their money on mediocre products and even moreso hate to see them pushing those mediocre products on their friends in the name of a holiday party...and even having the nerve to expect their victims to provide the food.

If that doesn't work, make sure to take an entire load of whatever is being sold for your childrens' school fundraisers and demand dollar for dollar from them in sales...or you can just say a bit loudly, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was a holiday party, not a sales pitch," grab your hot dish to pass, and walk out.

Your friends definitely tricked you! My friends let me know when they're having a "sales party" so I can make my own decision about whether or not to go. I would talk to these two people and tell them that you feel hurt and misled by their trickery. You can say "If I had known what kind of party it was, I might have been tempted to buy something, but as it was, I felt too embarrassed that I had been fooled into going." I'm assuming you didn't buy anything...if you did, change it to "I would have bought even more."

Make sure all your friends know how you feel about this...that way they won't spring anymore of these "surprises" on you! Good luck! :)

it is unfair of someone to mislead you that way. if it were me, next time just ask them if this is a friendly get-together or are they having someone in to sell a product. if they were selling something i would decline. my friends have all learned i will not go to these parties and if they want to they can give me a catalogue and order form. if i want or need something i'll order it.

I can't stand those kinds of "I expect you to buy whatever it is I'm hawking" parties. If you got sucked into one (and had to bring food to boot), I would have said something like "I thought this was just a gathering of friends. You even tricked us into covering your food expense. Shame on you." Even if you did bring your checkbook, I'd be doggonned if I'd buy something. To heck with them.