What do people mean when they say "She is popular"? And why is it wrong to "try to be cool"?

I am going to make it very concrete, even though this is not how you typically hear folks talking about it.

Popular is really a social political designation. It is a combination of being well known and having political pull in your social group. If you are the 'most popular girl in school' that typically means that your relative fame and social influence span multiple groups of people. It is a balance between your ability to network, and do or own things that other folks envy.

How you come by this typically changes as you enter different social groups. It is certainly very different in college, and in the workplace.

Often, for high school, perceived sexual experience is mixed in with this as school age people often mistake that with maturity in general.

Trying to be cool, if that is perceived as trying too hard, just means that you are pushing social and political boundaries that you are not perceived as fitting in to.

What you should know, is this is a whole lot of work all the way around. Typically, it is far better to go about knowing yourself, and being yourself, and examining what makes you happy and what does not. Popular in itself doesn't really mean much once you leave that social group.

I give you my high school social scene as an example. All three of the most popular girls from my very large high school class graduated high school, and proceeded to have children. They never left their home town are on their second and third marriages. Do you think they are happy? I went to my 15 year high school reunion, and they 'held royal court' at one end of the banquet hall, only talking to people they would have in school. They have learned nothing in 15 years! So do I envy them now? Pshah, no. I left them in the dust. In my journey for self discovery I have visited 3 continents, made friends all over the world, learned to cook cuisine from most of the places, and gotten my PhD. I have broadened the scope of my life far beyond what I could have considered, beyond what they can currently fathom.

The valuable things are what is inside you. The love you have for your friends and family, the people whom you interact with, and make their lives better, and in doing so, improve yourself.

Good luck!

Popular generally means she/he is well known and well liked.

It's not necessarily wrong to try to be cool, but it is useless to try to be something you're not.

You might note that popular and cool get you nowhere after high school, so if a person is putting a lot of effort into being either, it's pretty much a waste of time and energy.

Popular means liked by many people and there is nothing wrong with trying to be cool as long as you don't hurt anyone along the way.

Yeah I guess by popular it means a lot of people know who they are, but that doesn't exactly mean they are well liked, because you can be popular by having a bad reputation . Also I guess its wrong to try to be cool, because cool people are naturally cool, you should just be yourself and if your cool by being yourself, then thats the best kind of cool.

:)

Popular means that a group of kids got together and decided to call that person popular. It means she hangs out in the bigger group, the one that tends to be pretty and have money.. or both. Popular groups are not nice on the inside and have lots of back stabbing and lots of nasty jibes. It's not as great of a place to be. Most are lucky to not be in that crowd and able to sit with real friends who would do almost anything for you. Popular kids will turn on each other easily and are rarely really there for one another.

Now, trying to be cool is like trying to be a chef when you don't have a clue how to cook. It just never goes right and the other kids will notice it easily and pounce on it. Not many get off lightly either and most have it rubbed into their faces for the rest of their school life. You can dress better, that's not trying to be cool. But if you are wearing and buying everything the popular or cool kids have on, they'll make fun of that too. They'll do it loudly and they'll do it as publicly as they can. Humiliation is the key to remaining on top in most of those groups. But if you like the fashions and want to wear it, buy it. If you try to make yourself over to look like one of those popular kids, it won't work anyway. You have to be very strong on the inside and you have to have a certain quality that speaks to the others. You can't fake that much at all. And if they already know you, you won't get buy with it at all.

Be yourself, you'll find that after school that was the important thing. Make real friends now that can last you a life time and not run after those who aren't worth it. Know how many popular kids remain friends after school is over? Very few. They start wanting real friendships and going after them leaving the nasties behind. You can't go through years of nastiness with someone and want to hang onto them years later. The only ones who keep those friends are those who never truly grow up and who want to walk around as if popular means something in the adult world. There are a few of the popular kids who will always have a following if they want it or not because they were decent inside as well as pretty or wealthy. But most would rather be liked for who they are and not what they look like. Looks change throughout ones life.... it's not something of real worth. Wealth can be lost, and in most cases, wealth belonged to the parents and not the kids.

School is hard, but if you work on your education isntead of the standing, it can be a real help to you later in life. good luck.

I guess both could be counted as popular. You get the type who just genuinely have lots of friends. However then you get the type of people that have 'friends' because they're intimidating and cruel. They're usually not liked but other people are 'friends' with them anyway so they don't get made fun of.

'Trying to be cool' is thought to be wrong because you'll be deliberately trying to fit in with the thought-to-be 'cool' people and pretending to be somebody that you're probably not, not saying that you wouldn't be cool anyhow XD. Basically because you should be yourself. :)

I think "popular" is a well-known person (not necessarily likable).

And, in my opinion, trying to be cool is wrong because you don't have other than yourself. It's disgusting to talk with someone who's desperately needing for approval.

Try to be your own person and don't follow the other sheep around.

Half the time popular seems to mean less everyone likes and more noone wants to annoy them.