Heading toward Divorce?

Well, you definitely didn't list any positives. I wouldn't be able to tolerate doing everything on my own. When I was working more than full time & dating my husband, he would always do little extras for me to make sure I knew he cared. I was ran completely ragged without even having kids so I can't imagine work, school, and children. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that he understood. If I didn't have that, I don't think I would have continued. It's just too stressful. I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to have sex with him. Who would? Sex is nothing more than a physical act to most men, but for us it's something entirely different. It's hard to be that close to someone who you truly can't stand at the moment. They don't get it.

I'm not going to tell you to leave but I do think it's time for an ultimatum. Either he gets on board or you're out. If he fails to come through, then he's letting you know exactly how little he thinks of you & your life in general. At that point, I would leave. He got spoiled at some point & you both have responsibility in that. He thinks you're supposed to be super woman because you're actually being that way. He's taking full advantage.

I personally think the decision to stay is up to you. You have to put up with his crap. I think that you do not deserve to be treated that way and you deserve better. I think the best step would be to sit him down away from distractions and tell him how you feel using "I" terms.. if this doesn't work.. then I would go to family counseling. If that doesn't work then I would definitely think about divorcing him. Divorcing being a last resort. I think that a marriage in general should be worked on and if nothing works then at least you've tried all that you could do and the rest is up to him, if he doesn't want to change, then it's time to move on, remember you deserve it and so does your children.

Its seem to me that he wasn't the kind of guy that you should have married in the first place. I was going to ask you about the years before you two move to the next level. but only you said a little that he help out around the house. not to the extend how much and what he normally do without asking him to do. And who ideal was it to get married? Did you notice any of the change in him before, during the birth of your second child?

Now with him not wanted to work for a while and putting everything on you to take care of, that is the first warning sign. I don't give a hoot how much he makes that is not a reason for him to lag behind not helping with caring for his family. And for the his attitude (talking down to you, blaming you for everything, curing you, and so called denouncing you as a person) he need to check himself out first. If he feel that way, why haven't he move on? When ever a man/woman want to put down or denouncing their spouse/companion/mate then that individual should end the relationship and move on and let see how far that individual do without you.

I don't agree to wake you up so that he can eat. nah, you should tell him to get go into the kitchen and fix himself something to eat or eat a bowl of cereal. From what you're saying about him and the way he being acting after the two of you got married. there are a few things most of us was never taught or learn about Love or being in Love. That you don't allow your spouse, companion, or lover to tear down your self-confidence as a caring person. (2) you don't put unnessary burden on your spouse, companion, lover. being together its not to take mean to abuse the other mental/physical or both. (3) If the individual want to be selfish that individual should kept to oneself. (4) after six years being with a person like that and the individual knowing they're being a thorn in your butt. and blaming you for all want is wrong with the relationship and contribute to his behavior/attitude towards you. Nope, I wouldnt want to spend any more time trying to fix it. Because people like him would makes things even harder in the relationship after you visited a counselor.

What will you gain by staying with a guy like that and the way he been treating you? he doesn't want to work (at that time), doesn't want to help around the house and with his kids, and he is to hateful to fix himself some thing to eat and allow you to rest. And you wanted to know if you should stay? Listen lady, I have a couch here I want you to lie down on it as I sit across from you and you tell me everything (getting my white lab coat off the coat rack and putting it on). Sorry, in my book afte six years of this mess of what he been putting you through. No in the heel way should you stay any longer. That will only make you worst mentally and it will destroy your self-confidence. which will take you a very long time to get back where you're now. Listen just tell him you had enough and its time for a break between the two of you and for mercy sake don't you give in to none of his whining about he will do better or how less of a person that you're.

you need to move on and it would be a whole lot better on you and your kids. with your income along should help you to get some social assistance.

Hun, it is time to leave now. You are obviously taken for granted and very unhappy. You know you can do it alone, you practically are now, so the only thing you have to loose is a controlling unappreciative male. Sounds like an easy decision on this end.

Good luck to you girl, take care of them babies

if your doing it all by your self already and your no longer in love then if you truly want out then do what you feel is best for you and the kids. if you want out of the relationship then get out if you want to try and see what comes of the situation then stay and make it work. either way it seems like your going to be alone in the support department, you know?

MARRIAGED WITH KIDS OR NOT...THIS MAN IS TOTALLY TAKEN YOU FOR GRANTED..&& HOW WILL HE SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU..HE PROBABLY WON'T..HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT TO GET A DIVORCE B/C HE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO W/O YOU..BUT IF HE AIN'T WILLING TO GO TO A COUNSELOR WITH YOU SO YALL CAN EITHER WORK THINGS OUT...LEAVE HIM...YOU SHOULD FEEL UNAPPRECIATED...DON'T SETTLE FOR HIM TREATING LIKE THAT...YOUR HUMAN TO..HE SHOULD CATER TO YOU SOMETIME TOO...YOUR A STRONG WOMAN..AND YOU'LL BE OK IF YOU WERE INDENPENDENT...DO YO THANG GIRL...&& TELL HIM TO KICK ROCKS...

He sounds like a loser, and you are there to provide for him.

Forget counseling, unless you both want to work at it...it will fail.

I think you should leave him, it is probably not a big deal to get a simple uncontested divorce.

One life is all you get. Do not suffer any more. Today, he has taken you for granted. He could do that with the kids as well.

Move on. Do not let him erode your self-confidence.

All the best

Get out NOW!!! You're better off without him than with him. You cannot continue to do all that you do and get no help, no sleep, and no support. He needs a robot, not a wife.

my husband is taken me to for granted for 9 years im sick of it to

get out