How can I be more loving, positive, compassionate and graceful to me and others?

Since attending college 3 years ago, I've noticed how different of a person I've become. I've done everything to losing weight (though I still need to lose more), change my outward appearance, rededicated my life to God/brought Christianity back into my life, get psychiatric help and so forth. Though I'm glad I've been proactive in getting my life on track, I'm starting to see how I've hurt and push people away and I know I can't get many of those people back.

I've also noticed I'm still not very loving, trusting, positive or accepting of others, myself and God. I've been accused of being too critical, serious, over analytical, a perfectionist, controlling and mean. I allow my emotions to get the best of me at times. I mix up being too guarded and too vulnerable at the wrong times with the wrong people. I easily beat myself up and sometimes others as a result. I don't have a community and don't feel I can go on.

I'm trying to change, but I just can't adjust quick enough for everyone and everything.

How do learn to achieve the above question? Thanks.

(I'm in group therapy, but it doesn't allow me to open up like I need it to. And, I don't qualify for any more individual therapy sessions at my school's health clinic.)