How do I make him understand?

If he will not go get counseling, then YOU go and find out how to deal with this. This act will empower you and help resolve your fear to some extent. It will also send a message that you are SERIOUS about this and perhaps you will goad him into doing something about this.

I answered a "my husband looks at porn" question yesterday, and some MORON jumped me for using the old claim that "men are visual creatures". Ms. MORON even suggested that men who thought that were "gay"....lol.

Discounting a fact by ridiculing it is, of course childish and silly, but ask any guy. Heck...look at what turns him on in the bedroom if you don't believe me. Men are by nature very external in their sexuality, women are normally the opposite. There are no absolutes...but generalities are there for good reason.

There is nothing inherently wrong with porn until it reaches the status of an "addiction", just as there is nothing wrong with gambling unless you lose your house in the process.

Since it apparently HAS reached this level, even if it is only your feelings, then something must be done.

Good Luck, hon.

Okay, by the sounds of it, you have no desire for porn whatsoever. Which I can understand. If it is taking that much of a hold on him, than yes, he needs help. However, porn isn't always a bad thing.A lot of couples use it as a tool, to help in areas of their love life. I am not telling you to run out and buy a porno. However, men are visually turned on. As, to where most women are not. If he is always looking at it. Then your sex life I would think is suffering. If its not be happy you have one. Most people lose out, because of something they can work with instead of playing the blame game. My hubby looks at porn and yes sometimes it a little over the top, but its also at those times where my hormones are out of control and I have little to no sex drive. It could be way worse. he could be cheating. So, take into consideration, that maybe its not as bad as you believe it to be. Good luck!

If he refuses to go for counselling then there is not much you can do. You are right he has a serious problem and he needs to acknowledge that and get help now. At this point you need to give him an ultimatum...the porn or you and counselling. If he still doesn't do anything you have to leave.

Your marriage is in trouble. Admit that, and go to counseling yourself. The fact that you love him so much makes it harder to deal with. You may have to show some tough love. Him telling you that your asking him to stop is not helping, is in a sense making it your fault.

Most people that get hooked on anything won't take responsibility for their own actions. Until he admits that he has a problem and seeks help, things won't change.

This was also a huge problem in my marriage. The addiction made me feel like I wasnt good enough sexually, not to mention it ran up in hundreds of dollars in cable and phone bills.

Its an addiction as bad as drugs and alcohol, and unless he's willing to admit he has a problem and gets help for it, it will never stop.

Don't tell me you didn't know about his interest in porn BEFORE you married him??? So why did you marry someone like this??? People create their own problems, then later down the line their confused in why they have a problem?? This has never made any sense to me at all. If you knew he liked porn before you married him, then why in gods name would you ever had decided to make this CREEP your husband????? People need to wake up and realize that you CAN NOT CHANGE SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!! As soon as people start to realize this, there will be less relationship problems in the world!!!! Pick better next time!!!!!1