Should I be frustrated in church? ?

Question

I moved to a new area for grad school in the fall, and I have yet to find a church I want to become a member of.

I live in the deeper part of the South, so some churches had members who actually look at me as if I had the cooties. I am not a stranger to being one of the few minorities in a situation, but I am NOT used to people looking at me like I don't belong in the same seat just because I don't look like them.

The other churches have pastors who yell about how women belong in the kitchen, and I guess I am going to hell for divorcing my husband who drained this family mentally, physically, and financially with his "problem". I was told I was to submit (as Paul said) regardless of how he behaves. I did submit, but way too long. If I had any sense, I wouldn't be in this horrible place if I would have taken a stand a long time ago for the sake of me and my children. Now, some irreplaceable damage has been caused because I didn't leave him fast enough years ago, and I am not sure how to get out of it. Not to mention one church he was seeking counsel at had this nut putting oil on my walls and windows, and told him I wouldn't leave him. Now he is obsessed and refuses to accept our marriage is over. Before he moved to another state, he had stalker tendencies. Once I told him our marriage was over, he lost control and he got physical (but being the woman I am, I defended myself). I think those people didn't help the situation. Now I have to wonder about my own safety once I file the paperwork after watching his meltdown because the church told him it wasn't over between us since he prayed. Prayer isn't doing it. They forgot to tell him the behavior must change, or that you must pay for your consequences.

All of these churches I visited are either far left or far right. No in between. Even going as far as to say who I should vote for, who I should befriend, what I should sing, where I should work, and other untruths unbiblical that don't make sense.  I know there is no perfect church, but I refuse to be part of a cult like church. Any suggestions on what I should do? I hate church hoping and want to settle somewhere, if possible.

Or should I just study on my own?

I know there is no such thing as a perfect church. But I don't fit into this area, and in church is no better. I don't feel comfortable, and I feel like this area in some ways is behind in progression with the rest of the world. I think gathering with church members is important. But here, where is the medium? Its either too left or too right, or they were crazy. LOL

Or is this a common problem everywhere? Where I used to live had more choices and the people were open. I think my choice to come here has been a big mistake, and I am still questioning why I am here, even though I know there is a reason.

hello T · Accepted Answer

You should not be frustrated in Church.

You cannot go to hell EXCEPT for not accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Savior as the Only payment for your sins.

Leaving and then eventually having to divorce your husband for his abuse and lack of provision is something understandable and forgiveness will not be witheld for that. 

You need a Bible believing and teaching Church.  That is sometimes hard to find these days but God always has a Church for those diligently seeking Him.  Even let me know where you are and I can pray and help you find one if you like.

Keep praying to God and Church hopping till you find the one He sent you to be a part of.  Don't be discouraged.  What the devil wants is for believers to be so worn out by the false belief places that you never find the place where God wants u to be.

IN THE MEANTIME, get your Word daily by doing the following:
Pray to God and just tell Him everything.  He already knows anyway but Trust Him.

Keep in your Word.  It is where we can find strength and courage and faith to sustain us.

Seek out the Word on the Internet.  I listen to this following ministries myself and I list my most favorite Preacher and Teacher of the Word right here:
Select play Audio to listen directly on your media players

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Enduring_Truth/

Click on show Archive and listen to some of his past teachings:
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Enduring_Truth/archives.asp

Here are my suggestions for you in your current status:
Start here:
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Enduring_Truth/archives.asp?bcd=11/3/2008

Keep listening to the messages till you finish this wonderful series

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Enduring_Truth/archives.asp?bcd=2008-11-7



Take Care and God Bless.  You are loved.  Love You, Twala

Anonymous · Answer

Hi!  I understand what you mean.  The devil does so much to mess up our lives and we must find out the best thing for us.  I felt exactly the same way about my husband causing so much damage that I should have left him sooner even though the church (my mentor) was telling me to submit to him.  But this submission didn't work because he was the type that would just like go over people like a steam roller.  Yes, it was cruel and he was drinking and running around and he was lying.  So, yes, I understand!  That was years ago.  (I'm 66 now).  So, I know also that many churches do not help.   The reasons for this is that they too have severe problems and they also went to the church to get help and even the leaders (some of them) became leaders in order to be accepted by the other but they were not qualified to do this in a godly manner.

Sorry this is long---but I was hurt a great deal by churches too.  We have to find our way through prayer and meditating on the word and getting guidance from the Holy Spirit.  The righteous shall live by faith so to dump faith won't do any good.  But, once you get in the habit of trusting the Lord and knowing he is listening and giving you answers (after building up your faith), then you are on the way to victory.  We grow from strength to strength and from glory to glory.  He will show his glory to you if you don't give up.  

Prov. 3:5-6, Isa. 50:7; 54:17; 41:10; 40:31, Psalm 27, 18:16-19, 30, 32:7, 50:15, 55:22, 57, 126, 130.  Spend much time in the word every day and he will speak to you thru this.  God bless you and keep you!

Anonymous · Answer

It may be possible to look up your previous Church on the internet to find a similar church in one of the neighboring towns or bigger cities. Good luck to you.

Anonymous · Answer

Have you thought about whether you need to associate with any church?  I don't see the benefit except that some people need the social network.  In fact my experience is that people who don't get into the social scene of a church quit going.

Anonymous · Answer

Your getting like that by fact your looking at too lots porn and your masturbating regular. end it! it is why your sexually hyped like that. next time you sense you will be able to desire to "do",take a chilly bathe and learn self-discipline by meditating. tell your physique to loosen up, and it will quiet down. Tame your physique, end letting it get it is way otherwise, it is going to act like a spoiled newborn. Chaste your physique as properly as your innovations. Your messing your self up very badly. by the point you do journey genuine intercourse your no longer likely to love now by fact you have uncovered your innovations and physique to get use to the porn and masturbation Your merely 17 years previous. end it, in the past you will no longer have a sturdy sexual kinfolk by fact porn and masturbation's your sturdy sexual relationship. it is not well worth your existence, or your marriage of you do finally end up married. do no longer you be attentive to that your physique releases intercourse hormones referred to as oxytocin and dophamine? those are the chemical ingredients that permits you to bond by fact the estrogen enables those chemical ingredients to be launch Your binding your self to the porn and you is merely no longer waiting to interrupt from it it you do no longer end. Say in case you grow to be to finally have the genuine intercourse. you be attentive to what's going to take place? you would be dumped by fact you may no longer bodily and emotionally bond on your substantial different. And in case you wait till marriage for the intercourse: probability of you having a sturdy marriage is slender to none, and can bring about divorce. it is going to break you internally and harm your thought of love. and you will a thank you to easily gratify your physique fairly of sharing love with somebody else. EDIT: save your self on your husband. And locate different issues to try this will take your innovations of of intercourse. i be attentive to it is hard, and that i'm no longer attempting to be difficult on you, yet your a youthful woman and you will be able to desire to do extra suited then this. Now are you sturdy or are you vulnerable?

Big Richard Cheney · Answer

heh, I didnt read the whole thing, but I would suggest maybe studying on your own. There are some sites on the net that might offer you some support.
also maybe see a therapist.

Mike · Answer

dam girl , this is tooooo long, im sorry i dont think i'll read it 
but i sure hope someone has the patience to give it a look

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Should I be frustrated in church? ?

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