My new mommy friend feels paranoid that the nurses are trying to take her baby.?

Just reassure her, love her, and offer to guard the baby while she sleeps. You could also see about getting a little monitor thing that goes onto the baby so that if the baby is moved more than 5 feet from her it goes off. I have one, it's for toddlers, but they do make them.

Honestly though, I was scared of my baby being taken from me because of Medicaid and the fact we weren't rich. Even though the nurses treated me very well, the doctors too (from my view, she probably is getting treated badly because of the smoking...) I was still nervous about my baby being taken from me. It's a very common mommy fear. You've done so much for this little one, and it's scary to think of the baby being taken from you. It didn't help that they scared her like that...

You can also point out to her things like how if someone tries to adopt the baby, they HAVE to have both HER and her hubby's signature. If they don't, even if they put her in jail, they can't have her baby.

Just having reassurances like you watching the baby so she can sleep and that alarm would help her get rest, and then she'll be less... nutty? Heh. All of us are more paranoid on 3 hours of sleep.

Another idea would be to contact her case-worker through Medicaid and tell them how she's had people threaten to take the baby away from her, and how she needs a psychiatric evaluation because of this. How she's a great mom, and will be great, but how this fear is hurting her. She has people on her side, you just have to find them.

This sounds like an awful situation, but seems odd to me. I was on medicaid when my daughter was born and was treated like any other patient. Maybe she is being too sensitive. Maybe get her some nicotine patches or gum. Try to be there for her, so she doesn't feel alone. Does she have any other friends? I would try to have someone friendly there with her all the time. If it is a certain nurse that is causing issues, ask for another nurse. I had to complain about one nurse during my stay. She just wasn't attentive enough. She was 2 hours late on my pain meds and I was in a lot of pain from my C section.

good luck!

It sounds like she is going through a combination of Postpartum Depression and withdrawal from the nicotine. Remember both of these things can make you delusional. Like the other people suggested, you should bring her some nicotine patches or gum. Talk with her about how to care for the baby. When you get a chance to visit with her, have her practice with you how to care for the baby. IF SS comes to the house they will see that she has you to help her with the baby and will give her some space to learn how to be a mother. Has she told SS that you will be helping her? Maybe they think that she will be on her own trying to do this with along with withdrawing from Cigarettes and dealing with a new baby. Have you spoken with the people that she has spoken to? How you understand what someone has said to you depends on your mood and what you are thinking when being given information. The average person only retains 20% of what they are being told when they visit the doctor. Why- You are 9 times out of 10 in a dressing gown, have your medical condition or situation on your mind and are thinking about how you are going to pay the bill and only half listen to what is being said. If they are treating her badly in the hospital you need to go their and observe what is going on. Some peoples Perception is not always in sync with what is actually going on.

Everything you said sound normal to me. They don't want to send her home when they don't think she can even change a diaper. They are just doing their jobs. Also it's totalyl normal for SS to come to say hi. And being sent home during labor is normal too if she wasn't far enough into it. I was sent home in the morning and had my son later that night. I was also in labor for 20 hours. I don' know what your really wanting to hear. I don't find anything unusual about how they are treating her. She needs to chill out. They can't take her baby unless she shows that she is unfit. She may very well being doing that if she can't even change a diaper or she is getting paranoid. Thats a sign of post-partum depression/psychosis. I would make sure she's mentally well and not worry so much about the nurses. They really are just doing their job.

Well I think it's terrible she is being treated badly. However, I am curious why she is going through withdrawal now when she should have stopped smoking for her baby when she found out she was pregnant. It would be one less thing for her to be stressed out about now. She should request to see an administrator before she leaves the hospital.

I dont see anything strange in the way your friend is treated. It is normal to send a woman back home during labor when labor is progressing slowly. And an emergency C-section has nothing to do with travelling home and back to the hospital during labor. Also it is absolutely normal to suggest she cant change a diaper when she seems to be too nervous to do it. Your friend is overreacting and obviously needs professional help.

First, I would go straight to the director of the hospital and confront this situation head on. You should be appalled -- I am appalled and I don't even know her. It would be a cold day in hell before I would allow someone to mention adopting my baby. I would tell the director exactly what happened. I would also file a report asking them what grounds they had to call child services? I would tell them that you (or) she wants to file a formal complaint and nip this in the butt NOW!!!

oh i'm sorry to hear about her experience, that's terrible!

the best thing you can do is to be there for her... go over and stay with her for an hour or two... she needs to be confident about her parenting skill and the nurses need to see that...

maybe take her some books and just go through them with her... all new mommies feel nervous and overwhelmed at first, this is normal... just let her know that.

congrats on her bundle of joy :)

Maybe you should go over and stay with her and help her out in the hospital since her husband can't be with her. It's sad that she doesn't have any family around that is willing to help. I feel bad for the baby having a mom who smoked through the pregnancy tho.

Drs and nurses are there to care for the mother and child and maybe they saw something odd in this woman. Personally I'd appreciate having the drs and nurses check things out if it were about my child. If she's ok, she's got nothing to worry about. and if she needs help, hopefully she can get it.