Don't you hate it when your parents do this?

I'm 14. My mom is mentally sick. She would drag me away from my father (when I was 11 and 12). She told me that I was hers and that she could take me to mexico if she wanted to. Everyday was her yelling at me (for around 2-7 hours) for something so simple like spilling a bottle of water (even though she spilled it, not me. She blamed me.). The when I would tell her I didn't do it she would call me a liar,stupid, and then not talk to me for a couple days. After couple months of that everyday with someone telling you your the one sick, with a screwed up mind, it go's in you. I would sit in my room and think if I was the crazy one....or if it was her. I had no idea anymore. I was 11, I shouldn't have had to deal with that. I was home schooled, so that went on all the time, I didn't have a 9 hour break like everyone else. My mo teaching me was her taking me into her bedroom and watching "guiding light", because seeing if Jonathan was dead or not was more important than my school. So I became my own teacher. Then one day After months I stood up to her and told her to take me to my other house ( our farm, were my dad was), so I could visit him. Whenever we would go there my dad would drive off to our cow pasture so he didn't have to get yelled at. He thought he was making it easier on me, so I would have to hear it anymore, he didn't know that when she didn't have him to yell at she yelled at me. She always had to take her problems and blame it on other people. When She finally took me to the farm (my dad was in the pasture), she said "well your dad left so lets go". I told her that I wasn't going anywhere with her any more. I was 12 at the time. So I lived with my dad, and my mom would come w=every few days to "pick something up", which really meant yell at us. And she did pick stuff up each time, my dads clothes,, tools, guns, anything his. We were convinced she had Alzheimer's. So there I was 12 y/o. Going to bed crying because if she Alzheimer's, I had a 50% chance of having that gene. which meant I had a 50% chance of messing up my children's lives so that they would wonder why the h*ll they were put on earth. Then she went to the doctor and she found out that she didn't have Alzheimer's. I almost wanted her to so we would at least know what it was. Now lets skip a year ahead. My mom moved back to the farm ( much to our dismay). Now keep in mind my parents had never gotten divorced during this time. My father thought it would be to hard for to handle. My father never did anything to help, but think. I would ask him what he was going to do, he was thinking. For 3 years thinking, and taking no action at all. One day I decided that I was taking no more crap from anyone in my life. I stood up to both of them and told them how I felt. I told my dad that I was suicidal, and wanted to go to counseling to Talk about my feeling. He told me No, Stop Playing The Suicide card, If you Go to counseling they'll call CPS ( CPS had already been called one us before). So there is poor me, thinking of the best way to kill her self, Partly because I wanted to, and partly I wanted to show him that I was serious. And I wanted him to feel the pain of knowing that he could have stopped it. But then I decide not to, because Right before a person dies, it seems if you look in there eyes, there remembering there whole life. So I decided that before my father died I wanted to look at his eyes so I could see, him see how much he hurt me, for letting me fend for my self. Now I'm 14, Taking life one day at a time. My Mom is on meds now, and is not mean, but has trouble remembering a conversation you had 24 hours ago. But I can handle that. But I still have soooo much freaking anger tords my father. I can't forgive him for not helping me. And something is wrong with him. He has a very short temper. For instance this story happened a couple weeks ago.

It had been 6 weeks since I got my ears pierced and I wanted to take them out and put my studs in. So all morning long I tried to take them out. But they were stuck. My father asked if he could help me. I said yes. So he took a pair of pliers out of his pocket and started yanking on the end. And IT HURT BAD! I started crying. So he got mad and Yelled do it yourself. So he pushed the earring in further (not on purpose). So there I had in pain, puss coming out on my ear and my lobe swelling because it's so tight. So I get in the truck ( we had to go someplace) still crying, and He yelled "what the Hell in wrong with you, why the hell are you acting like this". That whole thing happened with in 10 minutes.

When ever I cry that's his response. "Why the hell are you acting this way. He thinks that It was my fault. He blames everything on me. We never have a conversation that doesn't end up in me crying. and I don't start them. Once he starts yelling at me I'll yell back ( which I no I need to work on), But I don't start.

I am 22 years of age, and it's sad to say I feel your pain even now. My mother while a wonderful and kind woman, still gave the same god damn "do you pay the bills" or "do you go to work every day and pay rent?". What really got me is that she has a terrible habit of jumping to massive conclusions and then unconditionally believing in those conclusions. As an infant I was like any other, I cried and screamed all night for god only knows why. This led to my mom believing there was something dreadfully wrong with me. At the age of 5 I was "diagnosed" with bi-polar which at the time was a widely miss understood disorder. This inevitably ended in me taking lithium along 5 other medications by age 8. The doctors as I found out when I moved to Iowa after graduation at age 19 were using me as a money tree. I know this because it my psychiatrist all of five minutes of looking at my paper work, to ask me "your bi polar right?" To which I responded with yes.

Yes! It's absolutely frustrating! It may be your house you pay the bills blah blah blah but I do stuff too. I do all the chores and get paid nothing babysit for free, take my sister to my friends birthday parties cuz you dont feel like watching her. And your right. I don't talk to my mother about my problems because there's no lines of communication. The one or two times I told her things, she told the whole world. Parents always act like we do nothing and are just lazy, but we do go to school. We can't really talk to our friends in school, so it's annoying when they say we should talk to our friends in school. In school we're learning new stuff everyday, we have homework and projects and then we come home to parents yelling at us to do chores and saying we don't do anything. Yes you were once our age, but times have changed. There's a lot more pressure now, and your situations are never exactly like ours. If one parent does something wrong its no big deal, everyone makes mistakes, but if the child does something wrong its the end of the world. It's like unless we're perfect, our parents can't stand us and everything we do is under constant scrutiny and they can always find something wrong. They think they're scrutinizing but, they're really just destroying the little confidence we have. I think the thing that makes parents and children fight more once they get older is that children develop minds of their own. When we're little our parents are always right and everything they say is gold, but once we get older, we start thinking of things on our own, and it kills our parents that they're not in constant control. Well, I feel a lot better now. Thanks.

Yea. What I hate though is how my mom starts the most unnecessary fights with me. She has a short temper when it comes to really pointless things. Like for example, if I haven't taken out the trash, she starts bickering at me about how she shouldn't have to ask I should just do it. Really though, is it that hard to ask? Is it really that bothersome? I totally agree with ya though, my mom is always doing that sh*t. She is always like, "do you have a place to live?" whenever I want to do something that she doesn't like or agree on. It's pretty immature. I dyed my hair red once (think I'll do it again) and she was like "no, thats setting a bad influence for your brother and sister" but come around when I actually do it, she's just all "why?"

my parents are strict,

while i am alllowed to wear low cut tops, short skirts and own sexy ligerie i am not allowed to go round to my boyfriends house if there is a chance we may be alone, go to parties with more than 10 people or of friends that i may have knowen since i was 7 but they have never met,

this is because i have a good chance of becoming a model or an actress and apparently unlike most girls "it would be devastating" if something happend to not me, but my appearance. while i also care alot about how i look i also want to be allowed to have fun,

i also get told off for texting too much. if they don't want me to text maybe i should actually be allowed to go see my boyfriend in person!

they also don't let me go anywhere where there is a chance of alcohol being drunk, even though they know that i don't and wouldn't drink.

overall my parents need to have a bit more trust in me 15 year olds don't go round to their boyfriends house to get pregnant, parties to drink, camping to ruin or scar their face, text just to annoy them, or act like teenagers because we know it pisses you off!

ugh yeah that's really frustrating and that's why i don't talk to my parents

it's like they don't even care they really don't listen they just use one of those lines and the conversation is over

yes i understand that they were teenagers too but we are living in a different time and things have changed a lot yet when i try to talk to them to get advice they jump to conclusions and think im getting into trouble....and they wonder why i avoid them

i turned 18 last month long story ahead

it drives me bat **** crazy when my mom says it it's always unless your paying the bills you own your own place and you have job then no it's like she wants to shape me into what she wasn't able to be her mom died when my mom was 16 so she had to take over watching her 3 sisters and her dad wouldn't let her be girly(idk why but he wouldn't) and since i'm the the only girl and the baby i was girly and that lasted till 8 at 6 me and my older brother were pulled out of public school and since then we've been home schooled and i was picked on and bullied in school because i was the small one and weak and i would always try and fit in with everyone else so with being home schooled i was the that lived on the street so i didn't have any friends my age or were girls and me and my brother are 4 years apart so i would play with him and his friends and we would watch anime and game a lot that lasted till i was 11 by then i was an otaku and i was playing pokemon and GTA and his friends learned to drive so they would go anywhere they wanted and i always had to stay behind because i was to young to go so i got depressed(i'm still a little depressed but not as bad as before) and i would always go on youtube and my brother should me this band he was listening to 3DG and i started listening to more rock music and metal music and japanese rock and by this time was about to turn 14 so i wanted to start dressing more like a rocker(not trying to lable myself) but i wanted to show i liked anime too so when 14 hit i started cosplaying and i would save my money every year and buy t shirts and posters and for christmas i would ask my mom for band shirts and band posters and by this time i had friends who liked anime and cosplay and we would hang out and i was happy so i desided to tell my mom that i really liked the style and she said i don't like i want you be girly and i thought what about what i like and then i brushed it off so when i was about to turn 15 that's when my mom started to realise i wasn't dressing girly anymore so when we would go shopping and i would pull something i like she would say that's ugly and i said ok so i pulled something else i liked and she said girl why are you picking all this ugly stuff so whenever she would pull something she liked and i didn't like it she would punch me in the arm and say girl you have no fashion since of fashion that's pretty now keep in mind i had just turn 15 so i was finding my own style and i already had body image problems (and when i was 14 her now ex friends daughter called me weird for liking anime and she told me just because someone dosen't like when you wear doesn't mean you should care and i said ok) so we went to walmart and my brother was talking about how he dresses like a hipster and my mom said he dresses like a normal boy and i dress like a boy to (i was wearing a band shirt jeans and vans) and i said so and she said so you need to dress like a girl and i wasn't really hurt i was just annoyed so when i turned 16 i started shopping at hottopic and other stores and everytime i would get dressed i was told i dress ugly i have no fashion since everything i picked was ugly and i was told i'll never get a boyfriend unless i show off something i had been told this for 4 years and yes i would say i didn't care and i still don't but after a while it starts to sting so when i turned 17 i wanted to try something diffrent with my hair so i asked my mom can i get the rince out dye and dip dye my hair burgundy(my hair is naturally black and i was going to pay for it) and her and my brother yelled at me and she told her friends at work and they think she's right then she finshed with god makes no mistakes so would you want to do that to your hair it's gonna look ugly so when everytime she saw hair style she liked she would get mad when i said no and she your driving me crazy girl and i would say i didn't care because it's my hair and she would say i don't care and hit me then two months before my 18th birthday i want to get my nose pierced and i said if i payed for it can i get it done and she flipped her **** and wouldn't stop yelling and i even cryed myself to sleep that night about it because my brother got a freaken gun for his 18th and his 21th bd (he still live with us) and i can't even get my a nose stud small tattoo or a pocket nife so now that i'm 18 i want to get a job and move out of here and never come back and i have no self-esteam i even told me mom you destroyed my teen year and she said and why do you say that i told her about all the stuff she said and she said it was true and she thought it was funny she swore she was joking back then but you don't say **** like that to your 14 year old daughter and to this day i can't stand shopping with her thanks for letting me blow off steam :)

Yes, that annoys me a lot. I try to avoid asking them about or for anything because of these answers I get.

im 14.

my parents always say "well i know what it was like. i was a teenager." and i tell them "no, you dont know what its like!" and i dont think they really do. i mean yes, they were a teenager, but not in this time! not when popularity, clothes, money etc all matter! i think things have changed in the past 40 years! they always just blow me off when i tell them that. i wish they'd just try to understand what its like now.

I feel weird telling my parents some things, because I know they'll go crazy and tell everyone; so I keep a lot of things to myself

Man, I absolutely HATE when they do that. It gets me sooooo frustrated.

=C