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5 years later...........?
So I had moved to another state and started dating my next door neighbor. Things were wonderful. Every relationship has its ups and downs but I was in love with this girl.. bad. She did the little things, such as bring me hot soup when i was sick, rub me after a long day's work, etc. Well, a severe situation came up and I had to move back to my home state.
The only reason we weren't technically together was the distance. Over the years we kept our feelings for one another until she finally told me that she had found someone she was dating. Communication slowly started to fade until I hear she is going into the armed forces, and she is getting married.
I about crumbled. did the only thing i could and that was push her away to forget about it all. Well here it is 5 years later and she is going through a divorce, says her soon-to-be ex is not a good person and she is sorry. she is now stationed in my hometown (ironic?, fate?, coincedence?) and wants to see "where I stand" about my feelings with her. I let her know i'm still in love with her but being friends with her hurts me and deep down i can't take it. I want all or nothing. She says she is relieved to hear that I still care for her and wants to meet up. We plan on going to dinner/lunch as soon as she gets in town to "discuss". I have always been open with her and I guess I'm just looking for advice. Should I persue? I've been single for years (by choice) and she is in a position that could compromise my composure and all that I have worked for to get this strong and self-sufficient.
To clarify, we stayed in touch up until about a year ago. I took several vacations to see my family in her area and always met up with her. The last time I saw her was about 2 years ago, and i regretfully acted reserved... and sometimes I feel that this was a mistake because she found someone else. I have never been good at holding back, and she still holds my heart in every way.
when we first started dating, we were both young(er) i was 19 and she was 16. We've both had some time to "mature". About the military, i have to get clarification that the distance will not be a problem for her, but the last few years has given me the strength to honestly say I know I can tough it out, i can wait for her no matter how long it takes.
7 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I've learned that with love comes risk. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose. But I know that I'm willing to take the risk since when winning means winning big!
Take the meeting as a chance to talk about where she's been in her life (emotionally), what her marriage did you, what you NOW want out of life and relationships...and see how she responds.
If she's still in the military, this could mean a lot of moving around for you or a future filled with a long-distance relationship.
Take it slow...you both have a lot of catching up to do...if you're willing to take the chance on love.
- 1 decade ago
Five years is a long time to be apart, plus she has been married and is going through a divorce. The only thing you can do is to meet her and just see, who knows you might be the one who doesn't want to take it any further. The feelings you have are what you had when you two went your separate ways. Once you get to know her all over again, she may not be the same person and you may not love her as much as you thought you did. I am you said yourself you have changed and worked towards becoming strong and self-sufficient I am sure she has changed as well, and you may not be compatible as mates, but you could possibly build a friendship out of it. I wouldn't even bring feelings into right now at this point anyway. This is like a first date for both of you, there is no way you can just jump back into the way it was and I hope she is not expecting you to.
- 1 decade ago
It all depends on how much you love her. I mean do you love her so much that you are willing to get hurt again, just to have some great moments with her? She's still in the military so she may be leaving again, it doesn't sound like you will relocate with her. If it was me, I think I would just take one day at a time, see how it goes, and decide from there. You haven't seen her in person in a long time so things may be different now. Good Luck.
Source(s): Love bites sometimes - Anonymous1 decade ago
5 years is a while. But how you said you want 'all or nothing' is a good point. I know you have feelings for her..being friends wil never be enough. Tell her that but only once u find out if she likes you back.
You should meet up with her and catch up but dont fall head over heels yet.alright?
Keep your thoughts until you guys are on the same page. If she just wants to be friends - then your gonna have to break in the news that its all or nothing.
I hope this helps xoxo â¥
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- 1 decade ago
i think it was fate that brought y'all back together after 5 years, you should get things back to how it use to be since you still in love with her, best wishes to you!!!!!!!!!!
- 1 decade ago
well if your single why not? but it may be hard for you because she has been with another guy. however you should see where it goes
