What is your first reaction...?

i think it is EXTREMELY disrespectful for anyone to ask or judge how you are feeding your child. I had breast cancer and could not produce milk when my baby was born. I had one woman on yahoo answers actually tell me i was the worst mother in the world for not breastfeeding. Some people are going to be very mean to you about it, but don't worry about what they think. This is you and YOUR child.. by the way, my baby is growing fine, has yet to get sick, and the dr. is extremely pleased with her development. Don't worry and do whats best for you. Get ready for rude, judgmental people, but also be ready to brush them aside

Are you talking about some random woman who you see out and about bottle feeding their child?

For starters how would you know that it wasn't breast milk in the bottle? Many women feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public and may choose to feed breast milk through a bottle.

Secondly, I think its everyone's personal decision to breastfeed or not. Yes -it is without question the best thing to do for your infant but some people (and you seem to be one of them) simply can't and it is not their fault. I breastfed until my daughter was 4 months old and then my supply just dried up for no reason that the doctors could find. It was really frustrating.

Basically no one has the right to pass judgment on anyone else and whilst I might think that if you are not breastfeeding due to cosmetic reasons (ie you're worried about how your breasts will look afterwards) you are being selfish, if there is a genuine medical reason why you can't then so be it.

Either way i certainly wouldn't approach a mother who I thought wasn't. None of my business.

Asking a mother why she is not breastfeeding is just as rude as asking a mother to cover up or stop breastfeeding.

I'm a huge proponent of breastfeeding but I'd never do that! I know that some mothers can't breastfeed and some have deeply personal reasons for not breastfeeding. And you don't even know if the woman is the mother. She could be a nanny or an aunt. Or the woman could have adopted and not been able to or wanted to induce lactation.

None of my business.

While I don't agree with mothers who won't breastfeed their children simply because of the inconvenience, I would never judge without knowing the reason. You have a perfectly valid reason not to breastfeed. I tried breastfeeding, but it didn't go so well, and I ended up weening my son by 3 months. Basically, everything that could end up causing problems for breastfeeding, happened to me. First, he was in the NICU for the first few days and they wouldn't let me try breastfeeding because he was breathing too fast. And then 4 days after I started to try (it was my first day home) a nurse came over and decided that my son wasn't gaining enough weight. At the hospital they had to supplement him when they took him off the IV, because my milk hadn't come in, but I wanted to just breastfeed, because I know milk supply is a supply and demand thing. But now the nurse was telling me that he wasn't gaining enough weight and they would continue to send a nurse over every day to criticize how I was caring for my child. So I supplemented my son with as much formula as he would take, and two days later his weight was well up. But then he was used to the quantity and my milk couldn't keep up. I kept trying and trying, first breastfeeding, then supplementing with formula. And then he developed thrush, which also hindered the breastfeeding. After giving him medication, it still wasn't going away, so I had to get more medication. Finally, I just had enough. At 6 weeks old, I started weening my son until he was weened at 3 months. I was just crying every day from the frustration of not being able to provide the milk that my son needed and I was so tired of everything working against me. So I really hope next time will go better, because I really want to breastfeed.

But some people just can't, and esecially after my own experience, I certainly understand that, and would never judge without knowing if there was a valid reason.

I would never ask a mother I didn't know why she was bottle feeding because many times I have expressed milk and fed my baby while out. Sometimes it's easier than trying to comfortably breast feed, especially at restaurants. However, my first thought on a mom I knew choose not to breast feed, I'm sorry but it's something like Why the heck not?? Is that how you make your parenting choices? Oh, well this is really really good for my baby but it may inconvenience me so I won't do it. Um, doesn't bode well if you ask me. For women who CAN'T it's a different story but I am a big advocate of milk sharing in that case. It just seems to me that if you know that something is the best you'd go to any lengths to do that for your child. I know too many women who gave up after a few days or never even bothered and it makes me sick to be honest.

Since having my daughter I am not as opposed to formula. I had issues with my mIlk coming in and had to suppliment or not give any food to her. It wasn't my first choice but I wasn't going to let my girl starve! It has opened my eves to the fact that others may be in a similar scenario.

NOW when I hear the militant breastfeeders I just want to tell them that not everyone is under the same exect set of circumstances, and to not be too harsh.

Everyone wants what's best for their children, but has a different method and path getting there.

I am not able to breastfeed either. If someone came up and asked me something like that, I would have a hard time not screaming at them. I was devastated to not be able to breastfeed. I cried myself to sleep numerous times. But ultimately it is no ones business how you decide to feed your child. I have 3 children and have never been approached about bottle feeding and like I said, not sure of what reaction I would have if I did. I would like to think that most people would have enough sense to not ask such personal questions of strangers.

No I wouldn't that's rude and it's none of my business. I have been feeding my daughter formula since she was two months old and nobody has ever asked me why except for family. Now a days it's pretty common to see a baby with a bottle and I think people are a lot more open to that then a woman whipping out her boob in the middle of a restaurant to nurse.

How would you know? A lot of mom's do breast feed... they just pump and feed with a bottle. It's the same milk. Maybe they're not comfortable bearing their breasts in public, or maybe they're on medication at the moment and a feeding from surplus pumped milk, or maybe the child has trouble latching onto a real breast or just prefers the bottle. Either way, it's none of my business.

No, I would never approach the mother to find out why she wasn't breastfeeding. And, like someone said, you can't tell if it is formula or breast milk in there.

I don't judge. I just assume you are doing what is best for your personal situation.