Why do people lie saying things like if somone older dates someone younger they are preditory/only into sex et?

Question

Why do people lie saying things like if somone older dates someone over the age of concent they must be 

A) Preditory
B) Only interested in sex
C) Have nothing in common


When thats a total lie.

I have been in mixed aged groups since 16, through 20s and into early 30s. The older ones just looked after the younger ones getting them home safe etc and paid more towards things like cabs.

People hang out together as have similar interests, ie musical, clubbing, like parties, are single, like eac other, find each other fun etc. Maybe common interests like skating, surfing or commonly are work colleges where 16 year old part times work with those in late teens and twenties plus full timers.

Just as you get older does not mean your interests must change and many may date somone younger who is not a boring stiff who doesn't want to come out clubbing anymore getting married and couply like the friends their age they used to hang out with

Some who like each other pair up so what?

Where is the harm? And can guarantee your mid to late teen son or daughter aint little Miss or Mr innocent.

Why assume just as someone is older they have all this sexaul and relationship experience?

Many dont, were shy, crap at chatting up, had strict parents, not so good looking, lacking social skill, may had adahd, asbergers etc

And werent into sleeping around and treating people bad or just unlucky in love.

Often those in late teens have done and been with far more then those even ten years older.

Given the prevalence of current teenage vioelnce where kids are murdering each other over where they live surely if somone is older, more mature, into education, responsible.../

Not a drunk, jukie, dopehead thug or killer.

If someone was not preditory when younger why change when older.

Liking or trying to chat up or charm somone into dating or sleeping with you is not preditory unless someone is like 12 . its called romance and courtship and if nobody did it nobody would get married.


People mature at different rates often based on experience and success with the opposte sex and may have nothign in common with those their age.


Plus somone who is way behind others is not half the looser junkie, crack head, gang member would be killer girlie basher larger lout criminals those the girls age may be 


So why do we have such scripted lies.


Why not instead say judge people by who they are and what matters between those who date and form sexaul relationships is how they feel and treat each other.

Plus Going out with somone younger or older may help both grow up a little and if they are not a good match with enough in common well they can split naturally.

Likewise the loosers are those who just get drunk not who travel the world, helping others and exeriencing all they can

:)) · Accepted Answer

I think its very stupid people do that. I'm 17 1/2 and my boyfriend just turned 25. Everyone always tells me its so bad and all he wants is sex. We have a wonderful relationship. We have almost all the same interests but we still have our own minds and can debate about something with each other. We don't agree on everything. He's made some pretty bad choices but I love him, people don't understand that. People are hypocritical and stupid. I've learned that and I'm only 17. Or people always tell me I'm only dating him because I have "daddy issues", that makes me angry, I don't like people and their screwed up views. I don't think age matters at all. I really don't...

Anonymous · Answer

Let me guess - you're not a parent?

Come back and say this when you are, or at least have acquired a bit of life experience. Somehow, if one day you have a teenage daughter, I can't see you being overly happy about letting a 30+ year old man in her pants.

Sorry if I missed anything by the way... I skim read this... no way do I have the time to read such a length, misguided rant in detail.

I'm guessing you're a kid - only a kid could be so naive as to think that teacher-student or doctor-patient relationships are ok. When someone is in a position of authority, they have a duty to remain professional and treat these people in a professional capacity. If a teacher can't resist his older students, then he was never teacher material.

A HUGE amount of maturing takes place between teens and adulthood. I'm not quite 21 yet and even I realise this, and I also realise I have a long way to go before even I am fully matured, despite the fact that I'm a mother. Whether they're having sex or not is irrelevant. The fact is that someone of an older age is so much more mature and has so much more experience than an impressionable teenager. Now I know just what you're thinking, "I'm as mature as them, I know what I'm talking about". Honey, that's what all teenagers think. You'll grow out of that in a few years time and realise there is a HUGE jump in mentality. There is something not quite right in the head of a fully grown man interested in a teenager, legal or not. I know you won't believe me, but I promise that when you grow up a little bit you'll remember asking this question and feel like a pillock.


Edit: If you have so much life experience, you'll realise that when you write that amount nobody is actually going to sit and read it all. You are very boring. How old are you? I really find it very difficult to believe you are a fully grown adult and find adult-child relationships okay. All I can say is I hope to God you aren't a parent... but your naivety suggests to me you aren't. *waits eagerly to hear your age and parenting status*


Edit again - and yet *STILL* you refrain from giving your age and whether or not you are a parent.
Funny that...

avacadocheese · Answer

i'm not sure if i missed something but from what i can understand of this VERY long question you seem to think that being a paedophile is the same as being gay and that i f gay marriage is allowed then so should child abuse.

another thing i have to ask you (again sorry if i've missed anything) are you in a relationship like this and are trying to justify why there is nothing wrong with it?

also, you said that many countries do not consider teenagers as children and that they form relationships with each other (or something like that) but just because things happen doesn't make them right.

also the law says you can not have a sexual relationship with someone under the age of 18 if you are in a position of trust e.g. doctor,teacher 

but at the end of the day if you find your kids are in a realtionship with someone then you may find that you do have a problem with it after all.

p.s: don't accuse peope of being ignorant for not reading posts properly when you write somthing as long as this: its alot to read and understand

Smifff. · Answer

Nobody is saying that all older men are like that. They're just saying to watch out for the ones who are. It can be so easy to get caught up in liking someone and not know what they are actually like. When I was 14, I lost my virginity to a 22 year old. He lost interest in me once we'd had sex, bragged to his mates and stopped being nice to me. This is the same guy that introduced me to house parties and much harder drugs than I was already taking.

cupcake, · Answer

pedophiles are stereotyped as middle-aged men with weird mustaches and a beer belly, who like to lure little boys into their house with a model airplane or something.

technically, a pedophile is a paraphilia that involves an abnormal interest in children (which, in the united states, is legally anyone who is under 18 years old). a paraphilia is disorder that is characterized by recurrent intense sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies. this, in the united states, in every state, is illegal and can be punishable as a felony offense.

if these people that you mention are over the age of 18, and have a sexual interest in children, then they are, technically, pedophiles.

we have rules and laws and things we accept and hold up in our society, and this one especially exists for the greater good. if we let this be acceptable, it would open the door for thirty year olds being interested in twelve year olds, and you admitted that that was wrong.

Emily W · Answer

The problem with going out with someone younger is more that the person who is older is (in your case) a person in an authoritative position.

why is it not predatory unless the person is 12? I see it as if you have a guy in his late 20s looking at girls who are not adults yet, then you have someone who in most cases looking for an innocent child who doesn't know what she is doing. 

as to your question about why a person could be predatory when older rather than younger:
what he considers attractive could have not changed from when he was younger to when he was older, -- pedophile.
he could enjoy going against the social norm, or want to get away with more than he could with someone his own age, -- criminal
he could be wanting someone more likely to be a virgin, or someone more innocent.. there are a number of reasons why a person could be predatory when they get older.

Max, Colt, Liam, Madi, Gwen · Answer

Hey i totally agree, lol.  i'm 16 and my BF is 27 and i always believed that age shouldn't matter when it comes to love, maturity and same interests and stuff that u mentioned means more than age should.  I mean u can't always help who u fall in love with, right?  You can't stop urself from fallin in love with someone just because they are "too old" for u or "too young" for u, that's just stupid, lol.  So glad their is someone out their on YA! who feels the same as me, :D.

magically Mystical · Answer

I have dated a few older men and enjoyed it often you get treated better and get a bit more spoilt then dating someone your own age but however...I think as you get older and wiser you learn about manipulation... older men find it really easy to manipulate younger girls into there way almost like moulding them into who they want them to be.
my motto is just because you can dont mean you should.
age gaps in friendships are cool..and good for ya i reckon as long as you have mates your own age too.

Dalice Nelson · Answer

I'll control myself and not comment on the spelling.

Instead, I'd like to draw your focus to your statement here:

"Many dont, were shy, crap at chatting up, had strict parents, not so good looking, lacking social skill, may had adahd, asbergers etc"

SO, yes, it's society's disenfranchised that is befriending teens.  Super.  I really want my children to be hanging out with rejects who can't sustain friendships with people their own age (though I knwo several asbergians who don't need to look to the teen population for a social life-not sure why you'd want to drag them into this).  ANd yet not.

Dude.  These older folk you speak of ARE losers.  People who don't
 suck at life, don't need to find friendship at the schoolyard.

x S x · Answer

i don't know i'm sick of it i'm 14 and i'm going out with a 19 year old chap and i have been having a lot of grief and his a really nice chap. he hasn't forced me to do anything with him but no one will give him the chance but if they did they would know how lovely he is. hope this helps good luck.

Trending News

Why do people lie saying things like if somone older dates someone younger they are preditory/only into sex et?

12 Answers