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3 yr old....Autism or A D D?

This sounds terrible, my 3 yr old son is so very bad...really!!

He screams, so loud...just when he does not get what he wants or when you just tell him NO or try and take him from playing to getting dressed. Simply an example! I have a meeting at the school tomorrow...he was in pre-k for 2 weeks and they will not let him come back until they decide what they think is wrong! The principal has informed me that she thinks it is A D D or Autism! I am not so sure that he is either, just terrible 2's! I have always known that he is a bit slower than most kids his age, still not potty trained...will wait till bed time to poop, so that I don't know he is doing it! He is very sneaky, and smart! Loves to watch tv and can sit in one chair forever if "spongebob" is on! Otherwise he cannot even eat dinner without moving around or getting up! Our family eats dinner together every night! We have tried to make that a rule. Some days are very hard! He will get up in the middle of the night and play in the fridge (ketchup, mustard, syrup, mayo...) I have to put a belt on the fridge and lock it, basically! He will play in the potty with just water, loves tub time! He plays in poop and puts it on anything he sees...tv , toys whatever!

I don't want anyone to be rude....yes we do spank when he does things he "knows" are bad!!

Some days I just sit and cry asking him why does he do these things and he just says "Why" no answers! He hardly ever answers just repeats what you say! Occasionsally he will say Yes if asked a question!

Please help.....will post what school thinks!! I just wanted some input from others in my situation!!

Thanks

Update:

No he did not hardly say but like 2 words until after he was 2 years old!!

All he would say was "baba", Mom and dad!

Update 2:

I know potty training is a bit harder for boys but, my daughter (7) was done at 18 months!! So not to compare....which we do!! This is very slow

Update 3:

I am so scared that they will tell me he is autistic and I am very upset to think something is wrong with my baby...but I'm at my wits end! I have gotten to the point I can't handle him! I just want things to work for him and then I can learn how to deal with this! It is the school psyc. suggesting the Autism. I am getting ready to leave for this meeting and I am just quezy!

When he wants to be loveable....he is very! Kisses Hugs before bed...are a must at least twice, lol!

Ok ok sorry for babbling...I am just venting now!!

Thanks guys for all of you who actually knew what I was going through!!

BTW....he hates the feel of pumpkin guts!! Just thought that was funny considering he has no problem playing in poop!!

Have a good one! Thanks Again!!!

Update 4:

Well, they are telling me that he is on the high functioning side of the spectrum!! That makes me feel better but, In the meeting I lost it when they told me! I expected it but it still slapped me right in the face!

It was just very hard to hear 8 ppl telling you something is "wrong" with the boy!!

6 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I do not believe in most of today's labels put on kids by psychs or by the "system". This is a hard thing to say in a time when every "expert" tells you what medications your son needs to be based on a very long and stressfull scrutiny of his everyday life.

    The way I deal with today's obsession with analyzing and labelling kids/people is to think of when I was young - a few decades ago.

    We had a minimum of vaccinations, not 3 shots every 2 months starting from day one.

    Kids that had "problems" were not splattered all over the internet or tv, they were dealt with by parents with discipline, love and love and discipline.

    And us, the generation that now has kids, are ok after all.

    So my advice is: stop listening to the labels (ADD, Autistic, "Let's analyze him for a year then we will tell you what is wrong with him", etc.) and get back to the basics. Get him to sleep enough on a regular basis. Get him to eat good food on a regular basis. Cut out TV as much as you can. Play with him and listen to him and be patient. It might take a few months to change him around, but you won't have to drug him and make him worse.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am the mother of a child on the Autistic spectrum and I feel for you. First I would like to say that from the sounds of it you might have a child with a Pervasive Developmental Disorder. I think it is really good that you are asking for help, that is a huge plus to helping you solve these issues. In response to the poster above. Language is not only talking but rather a language delay with respect to communicating. There is a huge misconception about this in the public. My son has always had fantastic speach but poor communication skills. He knew everything about Egypt by the age of three but was still struggling to answer when someone would ask what his name was. He would repeat things I say and that is called Ecolalia.facinated with TV and rather than playing with toys he would organize or line up toys. He had huge sensory issues and problems transitions through out the day. So often these events that you are talking about (such as dinner time, and getting dressed) are like hell on earth. He was and still is at 9 a very picky eater and is very sensitive to clothing noises and lights. He also hates crowds and loud places, so he would "act up" at parties, at school, and in stores. One of the major signs in my book would be odd behavior like flapping of hands, repeated movements or tensing up muscles quickly (almost a jerking movement) such as his hands, face, arms etc. Potty training is a big sign as well. My son was still having problems with the potty at 5.

    I am in no way judging you on the topic of spanking. I at times have lost my cool. However, you must remember that spanking definatly does not work for children with Autism. They live in a very confusing world and everyday is a struggle. They usually process the language commands way slower than most children and it will require a huge amount of patience on your part. I suggest reading books that will help you understand these issues. The books will even help all parents autism or not. Another must read is Out of Sync Child, it is a book on Sensory Processing Disorder. Most children on the spectrum have huge sensory problems and this will help you understand what he is going through.

    Also let me warn you that many times Autism is incorrectly identified as ADHD. Most Autistic children have attentional issues do to the overload of sensory input and you will do him no favors by letting educators tell you it is just ADHD. The needs are totally different. There are a few more unspoken tip offs to Autism: poor gross motor skills, clumsy, poor handwriting or strange grip holding a pencil (for older children), laxs joints in hands.

    Best thing you can do is a full educational evaluation and an Autism rating scale.

    Source(s): Mom of a child with Aspergers Syndrome ASD
  • 1 decade ago

    I have 2 sons on the spectrum.

    The principal is not able to diagnose.

    Echolalia is a concern, could be a processing issue too.

    He certainly has sensory issues and is a seeker. To cut down on the playing in the toilet, with poop, and condiments provide lots of sensory materials for him to play with. Play-doh, moonsand, painting with pudding or fingerpaints. Moving constantly also a sign of sensory issues.

    Not pottytrained at 3, thats not late. Average is 2.5-4 years old for typical children.

    Here is a pdd questionnaire that is helpful

    http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html

  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like your son needs a thorough assessment done by someone with experience in developmental psychology. Your son's school or pediatrician would be a good place to get recommendations, but don't accept a diagnosis just because the school or your pediatrician thinks that it sounds right. A full assessment will give you a better picture of what your child's strengths are, his problem areas, and also give you and your school concrete recommendations for working with him. If your son is autistic, an early diagnosis will be important for getting him access to services. After he is 3, your local school district is legally required to provide appropriate educational services if your son is diagnosed with autism or another disorder that qualifies for early intervention.

    You don't mention your son's language abilities, other than to mention that he will say "why" or "yes." One of the hallmarks of autism is delayed language development. Did your son begin speaking at a normal age? Did his language use (e.g. combining words, short sentences) develop normally? If so, he still might qualify for a diagnosis on the "Autism Spectrum." Asperger's Disorder is characterized by the same symptoms as autism (deficits in social interaction and communication, and behavioral rigidity or obsessive interests) but is not characterized by a language delay. However, if your son's language is limited to statements like the ones you mentioned, it begins to sound more like autism. If he is simply repeating things you say (like when you ask "Why do you do this?" and he responds by saying "Why"), this is something called "echolalia," and is very common in kids with autism.

    My best recommendation to you is to ask your school or pediatrician to refer you to a qualified psychologist who will do a full assessment. Make sure this person can explain to you what the assessment will entail and who will be performing it, and what kind of report you will get at the end. You want someone who will explain the process to you in language you can understand, share the results with you and your child's teachers in a way that is helpful, and give you information about what any diagnosis your son receives might mean in the future (for example, if he qualifies for early intervention services).

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  • 4 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Potty Training Tips http://enle.info/StartPottyTraining/?iDMO
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