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How do you get a grandparent to stop undermining you as a parent?
We made a huge mistake and decided to move right across the street from my parents. Now everything would be fine if my parents weren't raising my sisters kids. But since they have raised them as grandchildren and not as there own the have become monsters. Our parental style involves love,respect, and discipline(nothing extreme but they get they get the point.) Well of coarse the cousins have issues with each other and just don't get along. My nieces are manipulative and just plain mean. The whole neighborhood can't stand them at their houses and none of the kids want to play with them. I brought this to my parents attention and they have just given up. We are moving in the Summer but now they try to find anything and everything to pick on about my family/kids/their other grandchildren. I has really becomes a huge problem and nasty words are being exchanged. I feel our family ties are coming undone and I'm not going to let my kids suffer the abuse by their cousins(verbally). After trying to explain a simple rule of buckle your seat belt or you don't ride in my car. I was then told I have an attitude and that my nieces are now to ignore me. Mature right? So now I don't take them anywhere. I can't avoid them because they are so close but I really want nothing to do with them until they realize they need to address these children's behavior. What should I do?
5 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
First off, I don't care who they are, if they disrespect you when you are the authority figure, then they are no longer welcome to spend time with you. I would also limit the time spent with my parents until the move. I am sure it is putting your kids in a terrible position (as well as you of course) and you need to make sure that your lids are healthy, happy, and well cared for FIRST. It sounds like the cousins are bad news and a bad influence.
- revshirlsLv 71 decade ago
The sooner you move the better. It seems that your parents are not respecting you. They also don't seem to respect your boundaries. Their rule (or lack of rule) reigns.
I think that when you move you'll find that you and your children have more oxygen and life will be more stress free - and perhaps your relationship with your parents and with your nieces will improve because you can define your own boundaries.
Right now it seems inescapable but do remember that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Summer's on the horizon and it's certainly worth looking forward to. Take a day at a time and try to make the best of each day.
- Julie HLv 71 decade ago
Tell your Mom that your sister's kids will have to follow your rules or they can't play at your home and they can't ride in your car. Then stick to it. You also need to make sure your children spend time at your parents when YOU are there. They may decide to take out their feelings on your kids. Good deal you are moving. This living arrangement right across the street was a really bad idea.
- GoodQuestionLv 61 decade ago
Oh, they will address the children's behavior. Watch and see what happens in the future. As for you, stay out of it. That will unravel all by itself between the kids and their grandparents.
They are your parents and it is controlling denying children structure. However, don't be what you do not like in them.
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