How to stop this bad work pattern of making someone into my enemy and be happy?

I've never really been happy at a job. One pattern I perceive in myself, which I believe is destructive and at the crux of my unhappiness, is that I tend to target one person and get increasingly annoyed at him or her. As time goes on, I will detest him or her for their mere presence. If she says something, it immediately grates against me. This person can sense this, and starts to see me as an antagonist or opponent, or someone who doesn't like them. And here's the key-- while I truly feel averse, strongly dislike the person, I will never do anything against them. I just haven't picked up the political skill/ habit/ behavior/ pattern of actually ever hurting anyone or saying things against them. I just find that difficult to do, even then I myself am being attacked. I'm antagonizing this person and making it completely transparent to them that I dislike them, yet I won't be doing anything about it. I'll be just stewing and simmering and suffering on my own about it.

Meanwhile, she, aware of my dislike, will take stabs and cuts at me whenever she gets the chance. Covertly, insidiously, by subtle ways. And I get in all sorts of trouble, I get criticized, I can work well and do a stellar job 90% of the time but she'll notice this 10% when I'm slacking or taking a well-deserved break, and draw attention to it and magnify it somehow so that it looks like I'm always doing a poor job, somehow make this minor percent of the time look like the majority, make it look like the whole or entire time. This is just one recent example. I'll get attacked, quietly, by this person, and it seems on the one hand perfectly reasonable-- of course she's like that, because I hate her and she hates me-- but on the other hand, I realize that I'm bringing this on myself, because my air/ atmosphere/ mood when she is around reveals to her quite clearly that I don't like her and find her annoying and stupid and don't care what she has to say, and if only I could get over it and just --ugh!! be friends with her somehow, I think a lot of my work unhappiness would go away.

But I just can't bring myself to do it, especially since she takes every opportunity to affirm that she doesn't like me, to reinforce the dislike. I've never done a thing bad to her, but she finds so many opportunities to dig at me, like she'll pass around cake to everyone but me, and I get the feeling in many small ways that I'm not even aware of, that was a trivial example, but she scrapes away at me in her spare time, which is plentiful. And I feel like I just can't win, and people talk about not wanting to go to work on monday, but I feel like, my experience of being at my job is a constant, searing, low-boiling agony, there's always this level of pain and torture present. Every moment I am there, sometimes, it seems like I am just tolerating this pain, and it all becomes focused around this one person whom I identify as the source of my pain. I've done this in just about every job I've had-- one person, I identify, as someone whom I just can't stand, whom I despise deeply and thoroughly, and all my unhappiness will be centered or clustered around this person and their very existence.

How do I fix this?