Yikes, this is hard to deal with.?

You have to confront the father: The most difficult part in dealing with this is the lingering lack of closure that they feel. It may even be worth prosecution if possible. If you were to read some of my questions, you would know where I am coming from here. I was abused physically and mentally growing up and have always regretted that the state did not pursue my step-father more aggressively. They deserve this closure. Even though your husband was not the direct victim of this mayhem, by having this happen, all of that mans' children are suffering under the weight of his behavior, this sound vindictive, but, he has a price to pay for harming those kids so badly.

wow what a hard choice and wow 12 kids

ahhh wow I don't really know what to tell you, I would not confront the father as the sister told you this information in confidence and if the father finds out you know and the sister told there could be some bad repercussions for your husband, you or the sister or all. Maybe just keep your distance and only see the father on special days and such, but then he might see that something is wrong and oh god what a mess lol

Wow,

That is a really tough problem.

First of all, cheers to you for being so supportive and branching out to seek help for your husband. He is lucky to have a wonderful wife like you.

There are a number of things you need to consider before proceeding. Number one is that the thing about knowing something like that is that you can't ever not know it.

I would suggest, at your husband's own comfort, that he speak with his father about these allegations. They are very serious and his father should have an opportunity to defend himself. Perhaps that is the best way to go.

If they are true, like you already believe them to be, his father has committed a serious crime. That being said, legal action should be taken against the man so that he is no longer able to commit those vile acts with any other children. Please keep in mind that it may not be only his children that he molested, but others as well. He should not be allowed to do that anymore.

I hope that helps you and best of luck with this terrible situation.

My goodness, that really is tough. I don't know if I would want to ruin the entire relationship, but that's so terrible that you can't really say nothing. Like, what kind of sexual abuse are we talking about? It's all the same in the long run, but was it verbal things, or all out?

I think maybe your husband should confront one of his brothers first. That might be easier if they do still speak.

It's just SO bad, we don't know what to do....

Do we confront the father,

do we estrange from the family,

do we continue as nothing happened????

I would and just ask nicely

no...that's bad my aunt did that and noone knows if shes dead or alive

no, ask politely

well finding out anything like this can shatter your view of them. i hate to be the bearer of bad news but your view is going to be like that forever and you will need to cofrot them. not in a harsh manner but tell them that you are now aware of what hapend talk about it with them if they will allow it. i am very sorry and hope you feel better and best wishesto yur husband and his sisters. hope i helped.

i think that the best thing to do is go to family counsling,

maybe shes lying. it is possible...