LADIES: When you tell a guy "There's just no spark", what do you REALLY mean? Do you grow out of it with age?

Spark = excitement, attraction.

Re:meeting in a bar, there has to be something to draw the two of you together, so you WANT to spend time together and not feel you have wasted your time.

Everyone needs that "spark", that interest and excitement in their relationship to make it fun. The smart ones work out ways to keep it going once they are married - I still tingle all over at the sight of my wife of 25+ yrs. It is a necessary component in a fun relationship. No spark = ordinarieness . No-one wants an ordinary, boring marriage do they? That's why people say "how do I bring back the spark" in our marriage - they realize that they have let the fun side of the relationship slip away.

Men use it all the time too!

I think it is an excuse to get out of a second date. I also think sometimes a person simply isn't attracted to someone and it's a pat way of saying 'I don't find you attractive'.

Some people need to have a date that sets their world on fire in order to date that person again. Some people think that a burning hot, flame-throwing sexual encounter on a date is necessary to a great relationship.

My experience is that those super hot dates where you're highly attracted to one another usually go nowhere in the end. It's just lust and nothing to base a relationship on. But, people do. That's both men and women use the same line.

Anyone who would say there's no spark would immediately not be my type as they're looking for a sexual encounter first and perhaps not a real relationship. Some of the best beginnings are quiet, subtle and sweet moments, rather than catch-the-bed-on-fire and end-up-on-the-floor having sex moments.

The memorable times are the times he put his hand on your shoulder as you watched the sunset from a boat, or how his bottom lip quivered the first time he kissed you.

This spark stuff is just that- crap.

It is not b.s. Sometimes a person might have all the qualities you might be looking for in a long-term partner, but what's missing is the "chemistry". The best I could express it is that what's missing is the actual desire to spend time with this person. There are people I like, and I see them a few times a year, but I have no desire to spend every day with them or to spend any more time with them than I already do. Obviously, you can't consider it a relationship when you only want to hang out with the person three times a year. "Chemistry" is more than a list of traits that any one person may possess; it has more to do with how the combination of qualities in any given individual interacts and blends with the combination of qualities in another individual. Sometimes it feels right to be with someone, but other times it just doesn't - even when you get on well, and if he's a wonderful individual, and he cares for you, etc. Have you never had a gut instinct that pointed you in a certain direction? A lot of things in our relationships with others are unquantifiable.

It's hypothetical (sp).

If it's not something from a Lifetime movie, it must pertain to you somehow, and that is fine.

The no spark, don't like phrases are similes. I dated a woman for a few weeks once, the more I learned about her, the more I found she just wasn't a fit. This didn't make her a bad person, just not a good lady-friend. I wished her well and moved on.

As you mature, you'll come to realize that it's more important to find someone with whom you are compatible rather than to whom you are sexuality attracted. It sounds trite, but it's true. The truth always sets you free.

Attitudes, motives, strengths, weaknesses, communication styles, problem solving skills, interpersonal skills, intelligence, education, ideology all come into play in a serious relationship. Serious relationships are for serious people.

When I was younger, I thought if I wasn't attracted to a guy immediately than the spark would never be there. If I didn't feel the spark on the first date, I'd rule the guy out. As I got older and more experienced, I realized the attraction could grow with time. I still needed passion to be there fairly early on in the relationship, but I realized it could take months for my feelings for somebody to grow and for the sparks to arrive.

The spark is only at the beginning and an immature woman expects it to last.

A mature woman knows the spark goes away and is replaced with something else...maybe not as fun, but def. meaningful.

If women dumped every guy b/c the spark was gone, we'd be getting a new husband every couple of years...or less lol.

The spark is fun, but some people jump from guy to guy because they are not willing to give it up.

When people are ready for a mature relationship, they know the relationship may turn spark-less :)

It normally is a real reason, what they mean basically is that, well, there's no spark there, the relationhip's just not absolutely perfect, sort of. Basically, sort of a less severe "I'm not as in love with you anymore, but i still like you and want to be friends". It's hard to explain.

I'm not sure about women n their thirties, i don't see why they wouldn't?

it is definitely on my list! spark means no sexual attraction. when we say this we are telling guys we don't fancy them. What could be more honest and clear cut than that? there's no point in being with someone you don't fancy and i'm sure most guys feel the same.

Yes I am in my 30s and I do use it.

If within a month of going on dates I don't want to rip off the guy's clothes and completely ravage his entire body....there is no spark.

Wouldn't you rather women be HONEST? Wow, what a novel concept!

basic answer is, when a woman says there is no spark it means you dont make her fell special anymore, and you dont excite her anymore (im not just talking physically) but that is what it means sorry to say. hope this helps x