Do you think it's o.k. to not visit a relative in the hospital if they are dieing?

I think it is up to the person and and what you feel you can handle. You should not ever be forced to go see someone is dieing. I feel the same way as your husband. I want to remember them in a good way not on their death bed. My husband wouldn't go see his father the last 2 weeks of his life either. It was just to hard for him to see his dad like that and his father wouldn't have known he was there anyway. His mother understood and we called her every day.

Maybe the ones that can do it are better people for it but if I tried to do it I would be bawling before I ever got in the room and they don't need to see that. It's a good thing there are strong people among us.To each his own I say.

My dad died suddenly a few years ago. I would give anything to be able to say good-bye to him. This is not about your husband, it is about his aunt and uncle, who need love and support in their last few days on earth. No one can make him go but the guilt he will feel later will haunt him for decades. What's a few uncomfortable minutes as opposed to decades of guilt? Perhaps set an amount of time to visit - "Gee, Uncle Bob, It's good to see you but I really can only stay a few minutes since I have to pick up the kids at 3."

Your sister in law may seem to be unreasonable but she is applying her feelings to your husband. She needs to say goodbye, so she thinks everyone else does too. She is hurting and cannot lash out at the dying ones, so she lashes out at others.

Oh, and I am sure that the uncle knows his time is short. I disagree with not telling him about his sister. He needs to say his goodbyes too.

Wow your husband is being a selfish coward. His aunt and uncle are dying, and he's making it all about HIMSELF?? If they want him to visit them, he damn well better go see them. A person's dying wishes are sacred. He better grow some balls fast if he doesn't want to have some serious weight on his conscience for the rest of his life. Keep trying to talk some sense into him, tie him up an drag him to the hospital if you have to.

EDIT: I keep thinking about your question, and even asked my husband his opinion on it. He said that's rough and he doesn't know what he would say. Here's another way of looking at it: what's easier for your husband to get over: doing something hard and knowing he did the right thing, or, taking the easy way out when someone needs him and he didn't come through for them?

I'm sorry for your situation. God bless.

Im with your hubby on this one, screw the SIL and her opinions. He needs to do what's best for him and if he can't handle people being sick and dying, it's best to stay away. he can show his support by either calling or sending flowers (or something else that they would like). He doesn't have to be there in person.

as though Jade isn`t dealing with sufficient, some loopy is strolling approximately with a hammer,shouldn`t be in a wellbeing facility, not to show on the line,and she or he`s been enable off without expenditures, yet i assume if she`d had green custard along with her she could have been charged

you really should visit them its just cruel not too.and la-ta that little voice will crawl up and haunt you for the rest of your life.ok well said