WHY AM I MARRIED? ?

Question

WHY AM I MARRIED? 
 
 
You  have two choices in life: 
 
You can stay single and  be miserable, 
 
or  get married and wish you were dead. 
 
  
 At  a cocktail party, one woman said to another,'Aren' t 
 you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?''Yes,  I am. I 
married the wrong man.' 
  
__________ 
  
A lady inserted an ad in the  classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'.Next 
day she received a hundred  le 
tters. They all said the same  thing: 
'You can have mine.' 
 
  __________ 
 
 
When  a woman steals your husband, there  is no better 
revenge than to let her keep him. 
 
  __________ 
 
A  woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is 
finished  . 
 
__________ 

 
A  little boy asked his father,'Daddy,  how much does it 
cost to get married?' 

Father  replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.' 
 
_________ 
  
A  young son asked,'Is  it true Dad, that in some parts 
of Africa a  man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad  replied, 'That happens in every country, son.' 
 
  __________ 
 
 
Then there was a woman who  said,'I never knew what real 
 happiness was until I got married, 
 
and by then, it was too  late.' 
 
__________ 
 
 
Marriage  is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. 
 
__________ 
 

If you want your spouse to  listen and pay strict attention 
to every  word you say -- talk in your sleep. 
 
_________ 
 
  
 
Just  think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through 
life thinking  they had no faults at all. 
 
 
__________ 
 
 
First  guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'Second  guy 
remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' 
 
_________ 
 
  
 
'A Woman's Prayer:Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To  understand 
a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For  his moods. 
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to  death'

Jo · Accepted Answer

Thank you, I love A womans Prayer......you are the best

K-DUB · Answer

A "For Sure" Weight Loss Plan
  
A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. Weight loss program. 
  The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, 
Athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running 
Shoes and a sign around her neck. 
  She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. 
  The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.' 
  Without a second thought, he takes off after her. 
  A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. 
  The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. 
  On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. As promised. 
  He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. 
  The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful 
Woman he has ever seen in his life. 
  She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If 
You catch me you can have me.' 
  Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. 
  This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. 
  So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and 
Better shape. 
  Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has 
Lost another 20 lbs. As promised. 
  He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. 
  'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.' 
  'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.' 
  

  
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular 
Guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around 
His neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you are mine!!!' 
  

  
He lost 63 pounds That week.

Cheetah · Answer

Marriage is an institution.

Why would you choose to live the rest of your life in an institution?



Why do married men die before their spouses?

They want to.

skassa_85 · Answer

Nice

Anonymous · Answer

Oh goodness :)  That was cute. Yes we all do feel like at one point or another. It's almost like we cant live with em but we cant live with them either ;)    It'll be otay :):)

Don Quixote · Answer

Ha ha ha, some good ones there, especially the angel one, it made me laugh out loud.!

Arie-L · Answer

Lol... Those were excellent! I especially liked the last one! Heres to you===> *

Bombshell · Answer

You know what I say about Marriage? 

Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence. :)

Mommyof3 · Answer

LOL so true. And I am still going to do it again lol

Anonymous · Answer

ha ha.  That was good.

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WHY AM I MARRIED? ?

11 Answers