Mother-in-law problems during pregnancy *Sorry kind of long*?

Well. I thought my m-i-l was bad. She was similar to yours in the way she expects me to leave my son with her or she can have him anytime she wants but thats only because her own daughter did that. SHe didn't like it when I stood up to her and refused to leave my child with her.

You're in a bit of a no-win situation. If you refuse to go then your husband feels torn between you and his mother (and I know EXACTLY what that's like) or your f-i-l, who you do get on with (same here) misses ou on seeing his son and potentially his new grandchild.

I know its not easy but I think you have to stand your ground and tell your husband that until his mother treats you with an ounce of respect then you will not be visiting with them. And whycan't his ex-wife drop the kids off and then leave instead of filling her head with stories. it's obviously jealousy on her part.

You really have to be strong and take the high road. Spell it out for hubby and stick to your guns. Don't do what I did though and end up in a massive argument with her in front of the rest of the family and then walk out, because you will always then be the ***** - and it's not worth the hassle.

You look after number one and your soon to be baby. You don't need the stress.

I'm so sorry that you appear to have the mother-in-law from hell.

There could be a couple of reasons for her behaviour:

One is that she's an old bag and she's liable to stay an old bag.

Two is that she may be very unsettled by her husband's ill health? Which may make her grumpy and irritable?

Your hubby seems to see exactly what is going on - which is one very positive step in the right direction. So, my advice is to take a deep breath and be the bigger person.

Take your mother in law to one side and tell her you really want her to be part of this child's life and where exactly does her problem with you lie. Be calm, be rational but pin her down. What exactly is her problem. You may just find she's a very scared woman, terrified about a future without her husband and taking it out on you.

Then you can very gently reassure her that you and your hubby - and the child to be - very much want her to be a part of your family and that if she is worried at all about anything she can come and talk to you - but she needs to drop the attitude as it makes it very difficult.

I hope this works for you. Sometimes people need to be spoken to calmly about their bad behaviour in order to recognise whatt hey're doing.

Alternatively, she may just be a rotten old bag, in which case there isn't a lot you can do, other than bite your tongue, smile sweetly and only see her when absolutely necessary.

Good luck xxx

Maybe you should try talking to her when you are not angry. When she isn't making hurtful comments. Just pick a day to go over there and sit down and tell her that what she says hurts your feelings. That you are not like his ex wife and you don't appreciate her saying those things to you. But you need to do it when you aren't angry. You both takgin "shots" at each other, will never get anything resolved. Just tell her that you want a good relationship with her and things are not going the way you had hoped. Be the bigger person, even if you feel it is all her fault, take some of the blame so it isn't like you are accusing her of anything. If she still refuses to be nice and makes these nasty comments, then I would just stop going over there. Let your husband go anytime he wants (dont give him any greif about wanting to go, it is his mother) just stay at home. Or go but avoid her as much as you can. She obviously has a chip on her shoulder about the ex and she needs to move on. Good Luck!!!

Well here's what I would do:

Obviously the Father in Law is much better to deal with and if he's in poor health, I can understand why you'd want to spend time with him. Stick it out until he gets better or, not to sound grim, but passes away. He should be a part of this new baby's life even if the MIL is evil. And discuss ahead of time what will be going on with your husband. Try to never let him leave your side while your there. If he knows he's going to be doing something else and can't be by your side, stay home. If the MIL starts making nasty comments, say things like "Your entitled to your opinion" or things like that. She knows she's getting a rise out of you and that's why she antagonizes probably.

Wow... I can really relate to your problem. My 1st MIL was the same way with the comments only when it was she and I but if I would call her on it,,, well that's not how she meant it, or whatever! You are really in a bad place with your DH dad being in such poor condition health wise.... I think the sisters could come out with you all, like pick em up and go do something to spend time with each other. But with dad's poor health that's hard. If he's comfortable with you staying home that is def what I would do... And Im sure if he explains it to his dad he would understand. Remember dad's been dealing with the crazy lady for a lot of years!! Good Luck!!!

My mil told my husband when I was pregnant with number two that either I need to get my tubes tied or he needs a vasectomy. That we have no business having any more kids. She doent care about me too much either ( that was not the only comment she has made over the years) . I was really upset at first but in time I just learn to let it go. If she wants to be that bitter then I'll just raise above it, what ever.

I know its hard but just ignore her, dont get into a big fight with her because she will only drag your husband in the middle and trust me he does not want that position ( happened to me...) and its not really even fair for him. Of course he should say something to her too, like what my husband said that she just needs to learn to deal with the fact that i'm his wife and even if for some reason we would ever brake up I was still the mother of her grandkids and for that reason only she needs to be respectful to me ( and me to her too) She has backed off a little but I still wont visit her. Maybe you should just stay home for a while when he goes to see them.

Oh, and we have three kids now :)

I know exactly what you mean. My MIL is an absolute .. well..

Shes done some horrid things, shes had me in tears whilst pregnant, shes even been willing to keep me in danger just for her own sake whilst i was pregnant, on a horrid holiday and there was a risk of my pregnancy, yet she refused to help "because i was ungrateful"

Shes evil.

Shes proper interfering, never leaves us alone.

To be honest, all i did was stuck up for myself and after that she shut up. I've told her to stop interfering and to keep her mouth shut.

We now visit again and she sucks up to me big time.

Esp because at one point i stopped my son from seeing her as all her crap had made me feel she just didn't care about anyone but herself, i didn't want my son around her.

She was practically begging in the end.

You just need to let her know what she is doing is wrong, and you will blow one day, and she will end up missing out.

Sorry you also have to put up with one.

Ah, the infamous evil mother in law. Seems as though she is really just unhappy with herself & she is pushing her crappiness onto everyone around her. I can't agree, that she may still be bitter to the fact that the ex-wife is very irresponsible for your step-children, but that is beyond your control. She shouldn't go around putting you in the same category as the ex & saying harsh things, like you will not be able to 'handle' being a mother. Maybe she can't handle being a good mother in law! If she is treating you like crap, I don't blame you one bit for standing up for yourself! Somethings got to give. I would let her know now - if she wants anything to do with this grandson, that she will start treating with you some respect!! If she has any sense, she will quit being so ugly! Just because she is your husbands mother, doesn't give her ANY right to be so dang mean! I mean, shes pretty ballsy to get a hormonal pregnant woman worked up, lol. My mother in law is slightly like this, just not as bad, & I finally got the nerve to speak up & now things have simmered down & she knows when to pipe down when around me! Congrats on the baby & Good Luck ♥

I'm very glad you don't just sit there when your mother-in-law makes nasty remarks. At least you have the guts to say something back to her. With that in mind, maybe you should straight up ask her why she feels the need to speak to you that way and what you have done to deserve it. Maybe she just needs to get something off her chest. If that doesn't help, your husband should definitely put a stop to it.

when he goes to visit, stay home rather than being stressed out with that lady. My mother in law is the same, but she is stressing me about rent and her son is not working. I'm 16 weeks and still working trying to pay rent and bills. I'm thinking about leaving him