Is it ok for me to hate my own race?

I'm from Bangladesh and I can understand what you are trying to say. I have been to many countries and also lived in 2, Karachi (Pakistan 19 years) and Tabriz (Iran 2 years) and Dhaka till now.

I came across another User of Y!A of your background and experience (Bengali living in USA) who posted similar question and tried to send him my personal view, in line with what many have said here too, using his Y!A e-mail media. I got a shocking and very agitated reply from him and I refrained from contacting him again.

The reason I am telling you this thing is that it is okay for you to be angry with your friends or relatives from Bangladesh who are acting mean (as per you) wherever they are living. But please see to it that most of our people are not properly educated and nowhere there is scope for them to learn mannerism or etiquette etc. See school text books are teaching everything but not how to behave in society.

I had been to Singapore 5 times and every visit would amaze me the way their TV and Newspapers are propagating or training citizens about what are right things and what are wrong. These 'trainings' are being imparted on a population who are almost 100% literate and the penalty of wrong doing is one of the harshest for them to behave otherwise. However, what happened back in 1992 was that a night-shift worker of some workplace was travelling by his motorcycle back to home, carrying sales proceeds in a plastic shopping bag. Unfortunately he met an accident and the money was strewn on the road and pavements. Well dressed commuters driving very costly cars stopped and started pocketing the money, instead of helping that poor chap.

Though this is a very rare incident as reported in their newspaper and TV, but it showed that we human beings are indeed greedy and selfish by nature no matter how much we are trained or educated. There is a popular saying that if God would allow you to sin without any punishment then there would be immediate chaos in this world. Remember, there was power outage in NY sometimes back and many people started looting and vandalizing shops since nobody would see them and arrest them in the darkness!

We the Bangladeshi are at the bottom rung of the societies of developed countries and you are looking at us from that high pedestal of a matured society in USA. I appreciate your anger for these meanness as mentioned by you about our own kind of people, but at the same time would recommend that please do not let your anger take over your good humane side and destroy your fine qualities in the process.

Among the countries in Asia and Middle East I would say that the people of Iran (for that matter, Turkey too) are worth emulating for their being courteous and selfless among friends are relatives. Visit that country (Iran) and then come to India, Pakistan or Bangladesh and you would understand what a society or leadership can do to mould the character of a nation. We needed Kemal Ataturk, Reza Shah’s father, Lee Kwan Yeo, Mahathir Muhammad, Park Chung Hee and such selfless leaders who could have molded the people when we were ‘raw’.

Unfortunately, we have been electing one after another inefficient and/or big-mouthed leaders, right from our inception in 1971, who are having very big size greed and ego to nurture than seeing to it that our people are developed in the most basic aspects of being a good citizen.

Sorry for the long post, but you really jolted my heart for which I have no complain. But hope you could read between the lines and try to help us improve from this quagmire we all are in now.

Happy living!

There are many people who hate their own race, but it is mainly due to be influenced by an outside culture.

Saying a whole group of people are cheap and jealous can be said about... well, ANY race. I'm American, and I can say that Americans are some of the cheapest (major, fortune 500 companies hiring illegal aliens to work for them so they can pay them cheaper and under the table), and jealous (just observe how certain American celebrities throw fits when they're not in the spotlight anymore...) people in the world.

I'm sorry to say I don't know much about the Bangladeshi culture (other than its geographical location next to India), but from looking through some Google pages, I can say it does look like a beautiful place with exotic landscape, gorgeous fashions, and a rich heritage. We all have a different view on a place (especially if you live there), but look at it from a foreigner's eyes.

Hate is a strong word and a destructive emotion.

I don't think those jealous people deserve that much of your attention.

I think it's okay for you to dislike elements of your culture. That's more balanced. Some ways of living will naturally appeal to you more than others.

Every culture has it's bad elements. I am sure you will also find yourself turned off by the greed in the U.S. as well at times. Not that everyone here is greedy.

I can sympathize with you, even though I avoid hate. I wish people would stop being jealous of other people's material things. It makes me sick. Jealousy is a rottenness to the bones, says one of my favorite scriptures. Some people are afraid to enjoy life in balance. I've seen this in a variety of people personally. And they get mad that you have the guts.

My suggestion is to look for the good in people from Bangladesh.

It's impossible for all people from there to feel that way. That should help you to avoid hurting genuinely nice people's feelings, and also for you to not be consumed with negative thoughts when you can focus on something more positive and enjoy life.

Take the energy away from the hate and use it positively. If there's something you dislike in the world then try to change it by leading by example. If you feel Bangladeshi people are constrained by jealousy, then strive to not be jealous on your own, and let other Bangladeshi see you doing so--and thriving on it.

I don't think it's OK, and I hope it is just a stage you will pass through. I have to tell you that I am totally in awe of the surgeon who did my step son's jaw reconstruction a few years back. He is half Bengali and half Pakistani. He is a surgeon (MD) as well as a dentist. He makes one trip a year to Bangladesh with a team to perform surgery on kids with cleft palates for free. They work on a boat. I am so proud to know him.

Look, all I can say is your best course it to get an excellent education and become one of the best in your field of whatever it is you want to do. At that point, no one gives a rat's *** about your skin color, your religion, your ethnic background or anything else. Go get an education - a real one - and stop feeling sorry for yourself! And stop hating yourself and your people. It's very destructive. Good luck!

No, it's not alright to hate any ethnic group, Bengali or otherwise.

Have you ever heard of the great Bengali literary tradition? Of the Pala Empire? You Bengalis have plenty to be "proud" of.

Those other Bengali Americans do not reflect on you. Thing is, Bengali immigrants (especially those from Bangladesh) tend to be poorer and less educated than other migrant groups. There's also South Asian tradition, etc.

Don't worry about it. It's not because they're Bengali, they're just like that.

I would think that most people hate their ethnic group at some point or another, or to some extent.

I am of Mexican heritage. Growing up in a traditional Mexican family has given me a wealth of negative experiences with machismo. I don't hate the Mexican culture, but I have huge reservations when it comes to dating Mexican men. It's not happening for me.

It's the culture you know best. Naturally, it's the one that most frustrates you.

well first off no one can tell you what right and wrong is only you can decide that for yourself i think it is unfortunate that you hate your own race . It might help to study your culture and look at accompishements your people have made so you can be proud . I say you relly just hate people who act self absorbed and money hungry be that anyone

It's not wise to have hate inside you. I don't care what the reasons are. Find reasons to love instead of hate. Good luck.

Well i'm mixed,biracial and i dislike on of my races.So i'm sort of on the same boat as you.i won't say what i'm mixed with on her,unless you email me or whatever.but i asked a question about it yesterday and was told i was wrong