Parent's How Would You Have Responded?

Question

I have a 21 year old (male) college student that called me yesterday and tell me that he had to make a purchase with his debit card at Walgreens for the Plan B pill because of a mishap with a condom breaking. I knew that he was not a virgin--he told me when he lost his virginity his freshman year of college. I didn't judge or ask any questions. He asked if I was upset and I told him no. Instead I told him that I was happy that he came to me and was honest about the situation. I added that I was proud that he was responsible about the situation. I let him know that he never has to be afraid to be honest with me about things that take place in his life. Just wondering how others might have responded.

Update:

The reason he "had" to tell me is becasue I help him with budgeting and he knew I would see the charge at Walgreens and question it.

Update 2:

He is an unemployed student with limited funds. I am helping him financially and he knows he has to account for what he spends because he is not working. So "it's personal" would not have been sufficient. That mishap cost him the equivalence of 1 weeks groceries

? · Accepted Answer

Great mom!  I think you handled it very well, seeing as how your 21 yo son called you to let you know, he could've lied.  I hope that this strengthens your relationship even more and that he realized this was his uh-oh moment.  It seems that this was a girlfriend maybe, if he was the one who bought it and not her, which is another sign of a great guy.

desmeran · Answer

If a 21-year-old came to me with that information I'd try to determine if they were worried or upset or wanted to discuss it further.  But I'd also make clear that while I'm happy to talk to them about things that are on their mind or worrying them, at 21 they certainly don't owe me that kind of conversation.

unless he has some kind of problem with debt and has requested your help in resolving it, I can't imagine questioning a debit card purchase at Walgreens made by a 21-year-old? even then, presumably he could just say "it's personal?"

Erika · Answer

Why would he tell you he had to buy it? 
I would be happy he is using protection, but I don't need to know every detail. I can understand if she became pregnant because of the condom breaking.

? · Answer

I think you handled the situation very, very, well. You could have not done it any better. I would hope I would act the same way.

Zabes · Answer

He's 21 not much you can say at that age - he's going to do what he's going to do.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd just say "Okey, thank you for telling me." Even though it is strange for me to answer this because I am only 17.

pandabear · Answer

I would have ask if they were sure that's what they wanted to do.  Other than that, I would have done the same.

kim h · Answer

I would have done the same. My kids can and have come to me about sex.

in ♥ with my baby! · Answer

i think you did wonderfully. 
just the fact that he trusted you enough to call you and tell you speaks volumes about your relationship with him

Mommy to a boy &amp; 1 due sep 13 · Answer

i would have acted just like you did totally cool about it

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Parent's How Would You Have Responded?

10 Answers