What is the role of the ad litem in Missouri Family Courts?

A legal guardian is a person who has the legal authority to care for the personal and property interests of another person, called a ward. Usually, a person has the status of guardian because the ward is incapable of caring for his or her own interests

This is a person appointed by the court to take legal action on behalf of a minor. (guardian). In response to your second question, this is suppose to be taken into consideration in the appointment. Normally, judges will look for suitable adult relatives.

Edit: Definite conflict of interest at the very least and abuse of office/authority at the most.

IMHO you have four options and before giving you these options, I would remind you that judges are very powerful people and you (may) receive repercussions:

( 1) You can file a complaint with the State Agency, (2) go to the media or if this judge has shown an incessant indifference to the law, (3) solicit a vote of impeachment, or (4) you can do nothing and see how things work out.

Most states have constitutional proccedings for removing judges by impeachment. Not familiar with Missouri.

With most, it is some variation of a vote in the State House of Representatives to impeach, on to the State Senate for a trial and if convicted, a removal.

Reasons must be either malfeasance (misconduct in official duties ), misfeasance (improper execution of an act ), gross misconduct, gross immorality, high crimes, habitual intemperence (strange, unusual or aggressive behavior on the bench ), or maladministration ( actions which are seen as causing an injustice ).

The judge and the ad litem are (both) sworn by law to make decisions that are ( in the best interest of the children )

Only you can decide what's best for your situation. What ever you decide, BE CAREFUL.

BTW, no one here can asses any circumstance without (all) the relevant info and your initial post kinda left out some MAJOR details. (smile)