Tough Love Did It Work?

it worked very well in this case.

the mother was completely dominated by her son, who was on drugs, alcohol, on and off medication for schitzophrenia ,he was also violent towards her. she kept it secret and gave him food and money when ever he asked for it.to cut a long story short ,about 6 years ago the police were called after yet another violent outbreak .with counselling she stopped the hand outs, he went to jail ,then a facility for treatment , is now living independently. for the first 2 years she had supervised visits , now unsupervised and he does not know where she lives. he's pulled his act together and they have the best relationship ever.tough love and calling the police got him on the right road ,and released her from bondage.

I'm sorry to hear about other posters stories.

However I have used the 'tough love' plan and it worked.

The subject involved needs to be sat down and let in on the plan Before the situation gets out of hand.

Unfortunately, not as far as my youngest brother was concerned. He wouldn't work and hardly took any responsibility, he drank too much and things went from bad to worse. He owed money to his family and friends and we all said that the only person who could help him was himself, hopefully by admitting that his way of life was ruining him and by not giving him handouts any more we hoped he'd finally come to realise that he had to do something for himself.

It didn't happen. Just a few weeks later he was found dead having been on a drinking binge. He was 43.

I guess not. It's my own tough luck that I had no love in my childhood....just regimens & daily beatings. I refused to pass that down to my kid. I'm just as lazy as my Mother accused me of being. It's too damn much work to check on a kid 24/7 & be as over medicated as she was.

The benefits for her was that she had no memory of her abuse on me...or she just used it as an excuse & died with it heavy on her mind. I didn't want to have to live with passing that on to my own.

I forgive you...if that's what you need to hear. Your first post was fine & so is this one. I'm just a bird of a different feather. I never have followed a flightpath that was on any type of a map...that's why I often get lost & discover the hidden roads of psychological warfare & mental abuse.

I didn't have to express tough love for my child, but wish that my folks had with me. I would be a better person today, but instead of nudging me into the world they overprotected me and I don't care for the person that I turned out to be.

Forgive you for what. My #2 son still thanks me for when I made the decision to kick him out when he was 18 and selling (not using) drugs. I bailed him out twice on probation when he was 16, and when he got arrested at 19 for selling and spent three years in prison it woke him up. He's a different person married with two daughters now.

My experience is the same as 4leafclover's. My brother refused to conform, work, or take care of his family. He drank, used drugs, and died a few year back at age 50. What a waste.

It did with my daughter. I told her that if she got herself into trouble; not to come running to me. She didn't and she dealt with it herself & it made her stronger, but it broke my heart. We're closer than ever now.

MeShe I'm sorry you're still so angry. I thought we resolved our differences, but you blocked me again after I wished you peace. I still wish you peace. I didn't cause your heartache.

No, it didn't work. My son is dead because of it!

not yet. we're still waiting.