does your assumption about someone's gender change how you view their parenting advice (ridiculously long)?

it is human nature to judge a book by it's cover. LOL, good experiment. Many of us coincide that a man could not possibly know how to parent as well as a more experienced mother. Your disadvantage in your experiment is the fact you/or someone else identified you as a lawyer. That made you smart in the eyes of the world, and no matter what your advice people would be more prone to listen to you, even if you appeared to be male.

Well - I am newer to the boards than some, and not as new as most. I only came across this question because of the crush one... and then I thought someone had stolen your identity. I now know different.

I am of a position that I always looked forward to your answers because of the fact that you seem to have the rules and advice that I always want. The things I want to apply to my house and feel opposed by my spouse. I am not always strong enough to believe that the way I want things are the right way. I am getting there though and sometimes just need to be reaffirmed. For some, people like me, this is sometimes really important. YA gives advice, jokes, and a camaraderie that some of us don't have in real life.

I did look forward to the male perspective of it, but overall the answer is the important thing. I always wished you would accept friends, so maybe this is a blessing! lol... Thank you for your personality, and your candor, and I hope this doesn't effect your YA relationship too much!

Looking forward to many more answers (boosters) from you --- Schmee.

Well...I am surprised ... but remember you specifically stating what you did for a living and yet you posted here a lot. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!) I just wondered when you found time to do that kind of work and post and have kids. (OK, hoping I haven't inserted my foot in my mouth too much...that wasn't the intention.)

That said, I kind of wish in some ways you were a guy. LOL I mean, I love the moms on here (well, most of 'em LOL) but some of the guys can offer some good insight and humor and a perspective that we don't often see.

Anyway ... does that mean you'll let people add you as contacts? LOL J/K

ETA: Oh, and I guess I should really answer the question ... a parent's gender doesn't really change I feel about them. I've talked to lots of dads who are very much involved in their kids' lives, and the few times when I can actually socialize with the dads I know I really enjoy it. I think they have just as much valuable advice to offer as mothers, and I take them seriously on here as long as I know they're not trolls. (unless they are those dads who say SAHMs do nothing except put their feet up and be lazy ... LOL).

I guess I'm getting here a little late, huh?;-)Seems as though you posted this question right after I logged off.

Anyway, let me start by saying that I am not particularly 'shocked'. I've picked up on the "my spouse" and the staying neutral many times. Remember my "If I said I was a man would you be surprised" question? And me asking you yesterday to 'fess up"??? There was a reason for all of that;-) To be honest, I have wondered time and time again if you really were;

1) a dad

2)a male

3) or if you were a homosexual father and didn't want to admit it on here

I agree That I have never heard you call yourself a 'dad' and~ or answer a question that only a man could answer. In fact many times I've seen those questions and thought "Oh, Desmeran will have a good answer for this one!!" only to see you not answer, which only added to my sense of....wonder about you.

Anyway, I must say I couldn't care less about your gender. It makes no difference to me whether or not you are male or female. I honestly enjoy your answers because they are intelligent and insightful (a rarity on here). I find you to be respectful and (ironically) truthful. I don't feel like you have mislead me or anyone on here. WE made the assumption about gender based on a cartoon character! You still have a friend in me, if you want one;-)

~~~~~~~~~

BTW: What crush question...I didn't see that one!!

Everyone has spoken pretty much what I would say ! You sound really sincere, but I don't think I can picture you as a mom lol :-) I've had two accounts before, and both I deleted because people were rude and permissive. You did answer some questions I asked in those accounts, and from then on I was a fan. You honestly changed my perspectives on men, and in hope that there are some really decent men & fathers out there who play active and vital roles in their children's lives.

You always were and are always gonna be deserman, the fabulous parent with good ethics and morals ::: but everyone on this broad just assumed you were a dude !!!

Very little surprises me. Congratulations... you got me! But you've earned too much of my respect to have put me off. Funny, I dont even feel deceived.

I am a little disappointed, whether you meant to or not, you gave a fantastic reputation to all fathers. Other men on this board don't hold a candle to you. It's with a heavy heart that I digest the information that you fatherly intuition is backed by boobs. I think it did dads a lot of good to see an exemplary father set the bar. and I think it did MOMS a lot of good to see an exemplary father set the bar.

As for your question... Actually yes it does. But not in the way you think. As a woman, geting to know you, you're just another great mom. There's lots of great moms here. But as a dad, it's more of a one-in-a-million kind of idolization. Well, two in a million, Mr. Mozz would give Desmeren a fair fight, but he's a man of few words in an online chatroom.

I thought you didn't want fans or email cause you didn't want to get hit on.

You still rock Des. MWAH!

wow. I'm a little late here cause I havent been on all weekend.

I have to admit I had no idea and I guess we were wrong in assuming you were male solely based on the avatar. you are right, i have never seen you mention you were a father.

I guess ppl just like to see a wonderful father taking care of his kids. Especailly cause there are some not so good ones out there.

But whatever, your answers are very good whether it came from a male, female, dog, cat, trans, whatever. It shouldnt matter. All taht matters is that the answers came from a good parent

I'm surprised...but not offended.

I think I can explain the compliments though...your answers seem insightful and correct...and it was amazing that they'd be coming from a man...No offense to any dad's in the room. That was one of the reasons that I'd scroll down to see your answers...quite honestly.

That's not to say that men aren't excellent parents too or that they don't also have great advice...I just find that not only is that more true for women...but men also don't seem to communicate the same way.

So to have found an insightful male parent on an advice board, communicating articulately and insightfuly...that was amazing in and of itself...lol

In any case...I'm with Johnny's mom...I'm shocked, but not offended and will be thoroughly confused if you go and change your avatar and your name.

:)

I admire your honesty , rather male or female. I think people did have more interst due to the fact it was coming from "a male perspective". Not that men don't have good parenting skills , they just usally don't talk about it as much.

You can still give us your insight, values views, and all the things that you did, but like the others have said it wont be as special, because it is expected more from moms.

You can still answer my questions, and I will still answer yours.

the thing that will confuse me more is having to look for your avatar and name lol

So you aren't that less-than-romantic guy I thought you were? ; )

Okay... Here's what I got out of this experiment (and I'm sure you are all too familiar w/ this)... I've made myself more cautious of how I word things..... You won't see me asking a question that is directed to the *moms* on this board. Lesson learned. That's it. : )

Nothing else has changed. I still view you as a parent that I admire and enjoy. Hey, at least now I can say I love desmeran and not feel awkward, lol. ...... And, you do know what this is going to do to Charli, right?