My 9 year old son is having a really hard time. Advice?

I have a son who is nine years old and has a little sister and I am also a 3rd grade teacher. I have not been through what you are talking about but I truly feel your pain and have sympathy for what you are going through. I can't imagine the feeling of helplessness you have.

I think I would contact the counselor at school and have them consult with your son. That would give you a reliable second opinion. Another thing would be to contact your son's teacher and find out if she/he has any idea that these things are occurring at school. The teacher needs to be made aware of this, if they don't already know. The school should also promote kindness and no bullying should be tolerated. It sounds like that's what is going on. If these are not options for you, I would either contact the same counselor and let them know what's going on. Tell them that things have not improved and you feel that your son needs more sessions or find an entirely new counselor and have him evaluated and get their opinion.

I would definitely get the school involved because they are a great resource. I hope this helps.

I'm sure he's not the only 'nerdy' kid in his class. Meet up with the other parents, get involved as a room mom or volunteer in the PTO or classroom, help him find that other kid who shares his same interests.

Besides the teasing (which you should discuss with his teacher and the principal), being a kid who likes to hang out in the library & who is into science isn't a bad thing. It's nice to do it with friends, but if there are no friends around, yet, it's still good for him to know that it's OK to do what makes him feel happy & comfortable. Why pretend to be anyone but who he wants to be? That won't bring him any real happiness in life at all.

More counseling might help him find his confidence to be who he wants to be & to not be bothered by the other kids' obviously low self-esteem made manifest when they tease him - people who are confident in who they are don't need that 'rush of power' that someone gets by making someone else sad.

Just keep letting him talk to you about it. Listen when he does. Don't try to tell him what to do, ask him how he feels, share how you feel (or how you think you would feel in the situation), encourage him to think about creative ways of dealing with it. He won't be able to change the mean kids. He just needs to figure out how to ignore them & be happy in his own life.

ok you are doing great so far honestly! one on one time with him and dinner as a family being involved in his life. He just needs some social life as well. you tried out of school activities but try finding something he would enjoy. like science clubs or maybe tutoring younger kids. get him around other kids his age that are into the same stuff. once he has a close friend that enjoys the same stuff he does it won't matter what all those kids say to him.

After everything that has happened in his life ... it appears he's still heading in the right direction.

I have a grand daughter, who is in the 'Talented and Gifted' classes and is picked on all of the time. She sticks with the other 'TAG' kids and has made new friends.

You really need to sit down with him and help him focus on his future more and since he's in a new school (again) to just give it some time.

At home, have him help with his sister - educationally. He knows a lot and he can teach her the same things..... this way he will be part of her life and they will form a bond.

Definitely get him back in counseling. He needs someone to help him through this rough patch and although you are his parent, sometimes it easier for a child to talk to someone else.

Try getting him involved in soccer or some other sport where he can make friends.

He has been through a lot in the past few years and it sounds like he has not had the time to adjust to everything.

I know how hard it is having siblings with problems such as autism and sometimes you don't get the attention you crave I know from experience my younger brother has some severe autism and I am older t han him it's very frustrating to never have the attention from your mother don't give up on him councilling might help I go to it because sometimes I get too bottled up its good to vent to someone not in your immediate family it helps me not feel so resentful and angry I hope you guys can figure everything out good luck hope I helped a little bit

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this young man, different mold that's all, don't worry about it. We are all different and you should PROMOTE the fact that he is a very special individual. Do not try to change him, let him be the Bill Gates or Albert Einstein that he will probably grow up to be.

i know that every child and circumstance is different.

i have felt the same way about my daughter.

my husband says to me all the time, that we cannot make her what we want her to be. she is her own self and sometimes the hardships of childhood are what make the adult they become.

my daughter is gaining her self-esteem every day. we are watching her "come into herself" and it wasn't anything that we did. it was just time. and our support..

now, that being said, your son has had issues that we haven't had to deal with. and if he was my son, i would have him put back into counseling. i think that would help with the loss of his grandmother and the jealously issues with his sister.

good luck. i wish you the best. you are truly blessed with him.

I think perhaps you should take him back to counseling. Life is hard, but it shouldn't be that hard - A direct quote from my own doctor.