Is it wrong of me to tell hubby that his brother has to go, that we can't afford another mouth to feed.....?

Question

Well his brother has been here for 2 months and he is going through hard split up with his ex girlfriend) Well me and hubby have 2 boys ourselves and we both have a full time job,we have hard enough time making sure that we are taken care of... His brother is 28 and he does do side jobs to make money. He doesn't help with nothing and he doesn't even help ex girlfriend financially with their kids. All his money goes on beer and cigarettes. To me he is very selfish it's always about what he wants. He gets his kids every weekend and then tries to keep them at weeks at a time, I don't mind this at all I love them to death,But its hard to keep groceries in the house cause my Bil and his kids waste alot of food and I don't allow my boys to do that at all. He want even buy groceries for when they come and visit. I told hubby  somewhat how I feel but don't want to hurt his feelings cause that is his brother. But I can't keep taking away from my kids for them. My youngest had to give up his room for him which I didn't like at all. And when his kids come over he don't discipline them at all he lets his youngest son talk to us like we are dogs and he treats my youngest that way to. So guess my question would be .... Would it be wrong to tell hubby to choose me and our kids or his brother that want help out?

? · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't threaten your husband about it's me or the kids.  I do believe that your kids are the most important.  Your husband should feel the same way.  You're not helping his brother by letting him stay with you it's just the easy road.  Talk to your husband on how you feel, and how this is damaging your family in the process.  I would feel your husband would understand this, unless he likes having his buddy (brother) around.  Simply tell him have your brother move in with friends or someone else and visit on the weekends.  Good luck. YOUR family comes first!

LIPPIE · Answer

I think it is time to talk to your husband and find out how long you will have to disrupt your family for someone that doesn't appreciate it.  I would also tell your BIL that he can start labeling his food, so he can start supporting his family the way you do yours. I would set a time limit for him to find a new place to live and at that time he would have to leave. Your husband has to realize that he is not doing his family any good by putting his son out of his room for some guy that is old enough to have his own apt.  When the nephew came over and talked down to you, I would set him straight and let him know that this is your home and he will respect you or get out. No one has the right to put you down in your own home. Your husband doesn't have to choose, he just needs to step up and be the man of the house and make sure his family is taken care of, and his brother should make sure his own house is taken care of.

CQ007 · Answer

no you will be doing the rite thing b/c tuff love is the only way a person will wake up and smell the coffee, i know its hard but he has to handle his bizness as a man, so you being the woman of the house your hubby should understand ans take your side and give his brother some tuff love and tell him he has to go

kim h · Answer

No it would not be wrong. He is using you and you have taken it long enough. It would be different if he were trying and did what he could to help out.

☮ ♥ ♫ ㋡ · Answer

it's not wrong, your family has to suffer for his laziness. he should either pitch in or leave.

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Is it wrong of me to tell hubby that his brother has to go, that we can't afford another mouth to feed.....?

5 Answers