what kind of mental disorder is this?

To me it sounds like you're just overwhelmed. You need to go to a clinic, explain your situation, and ask for something to help you through the short term. Then find some therapy wether it is group or one on one. You should be able to find this free or at least low cost in even a medium sized city.

It sounds like you have some religious background and you have to keep in mind that Jesus loves everyone. Jesus loves Murderers, schoolteachers, janitors, and gays. That's his job. Anyone that tells you otherwise is full of crap.

Basically you need three things:

* Medical assistance

*Therapy

*Religious counseling (from a church that will accept you for who you are just as Jesus would!)

Most important, if you ever feel like giving up call a crisis hotline. Being gay won't get you into hell, but I'm afraid suicide might.

I think you're excessively worried about what other people think, and it's affecting you emotionally.

You seem to take on other people's problems as if they are your own - this is unhealthy. The only problems you can solve are your own. You can be supportive. You can be a friend.

Maybe you could consider consulting with your doctor. Perhaps he'd recommend a referral to therapy?

You know, sometimes our thinking can become a little distorted. It happens to everyone at one point or the other. Therapy might give you some insight into the reasons you are thinking this way, and if you do the work it takes to move forward, you'll be fine.

sending all best wishes and hugs.

awww sweetie, okay first you are a beaitful person, your sexuality doe's not define you, it sound's like you might have some post emtional stress disorder going on, having to hide who you weree the person you wanted to be but was afraid to show, has done some emtional damage, which can be undone in time with a caring person, therpist or counisler, you are projecting and taking on alot of what and how you think people should or do perceive you, as not being good enough because your not"normal" so to speak, sweetie you cannot carry that much responsibilty around and the weight of it cause immense pain and hurt to yourself,you seem to be dealing with alot of guilt that you've got to learn to let go of,you've become sooo hyper senitive to other's thought's action's reaction's, it's like your so ready to be rejected that it kind of is a self fuflling phrocey. please forgive my spelling, lol.my word correct isn't working right.i don't think you have a weak personality, i think life and yourself have gotten so beat down, you just don't have the strength to get up off your knee's and learn to stand tall and proud again.i wish you the best of luck{{{{{here's a hug}}}} cause everyone can use a hug, and give yourself a break kay? smile's to you jamie

Severe depression, severe anxiety. A psychiatrist would be more technical.

Don't hurt yourself or commit suicide just because you're gay. Tell a psych what is going on with you. I believe meds are good in emergency situations. It seems as if although you've started to accept yourself as gay, unconcious thoughts came to the surface thereafter.

DON'T YOU EVER THINK THAT IT IS WRONG TO BE GAY.

LOVE IS LOVE NO MATTER WHAT.

Don't believe in these dumb religious people who tell you it's wrong.

I've been confused about my sexuality for a long time.

I've gone through so much pain because of it.

Stop worrying what others think. Be yourself and if people can't accept you for who you are then they're not worth spending any time and energy on.

Those are symptoms of having a bipolar disorder. Don't overthink on what you feel instead convince yourself to fight this felling. Thinking always on what we feel can also result to stress. To forget your problem even for a while, I suggest to take meditation. This could help to relax your mind.

It sounds like you may have clinical depression. It's common in homosexuals. Society is very nasty, can't think for themselves, easily brainwashed into feeling senseless hatred towards people who aren't like them. Don't let people who know nothing suck you into the belief that you're doing anything wrong. Any criticism towards you over something you don't control is invalid.

IGNORE DEBER. She has issues.

You are in a deep depression. Seek help :)

Just know that being gay is completely and perfectly OK. I know that doesn't cure your depression, but I just wanted to tell you.

I hope everything gets better for you. Good luck.

:)

It is plain old deep, dark depression. There are people that care and counselors that can help you with this. Find a caring counseling that can help you through this.

You need to pray to God. He will give you the answers you seek. God never intended for males to be with males or females to with females. If you believe in God...you need to pray. He will set you straight.