Marriage issues.... Opinion please.. LONG?

My opinion is:

Get the teeth fixed so not in pain.

Put the rest in the bank or safe,

sell any vehicles that run (heck I need a good running one that's cheap** my car has been broken down for months )

Have a good truck for him and a decent car for her...that is all that is needed.

I don't know what to advise about the business end since there was not enough information on it.

They have many issues in their marriage, but they are trivial issues. All is not lost, and this marriage can be saved. It will take some growing up on both parts. He needs to realize he is in a family unit, and the reenlistment bonus is not 'his money.' When 2 people marry, there is no more his and hers. It can only be ours, or things will never work properly. What else is happening is that they are teaching their children to be the same way. They need some counseling. The best thing you can do is encourage your friend to seek some help. If she can't afford a traditional therapist, then encourage her to go to a church and talk to a pastor. Their counseling is free, and often better than traditional advice. They will help her learn how to work with her hubby and save their marriage. You can be a sounding board for her, but try not to give her advice. She has to make decisions based on what is best for her family. Always encourage her to work things out in her marriage. The divorce rate is way to high, and you don't want those kids to be another statistic.

The first thing this couple needs is counseling. While I'm glad that they are still friends and enjoy each other's company, financially they need to get on the same page. Maybe they should each make a prioritized list of what their money should be spent on. If they have no health care, then that may be #1 on your friend's list. When they sit down to compare lists, her hubby may realize how silly it sounds to want to buy a custom truck bed as a #1 priority when compared to health care. Also, some people have serious problems letting go of things that serve no purpose. I've read that hoarding is actually a disease, so he may need to talk to a professional on his own about that one because keeping old and useless cars and trucks is not benefitting the family - it's causing problems.

In this day and age $15,000 really isn't a large sum of money. So for me, starting a new business with it is way out--- 15,000 isn't even a fraction of what it costs to start a business.

Anywho, I think he needs to stop being so selfish with his money (because it IS his) and realize that he's not a bachelor, rather has a wife and kids to put before his childish wants...

But I also think she needs to relax a little and learn to play the game. Instead of TELLING him what to do with his money (to which pressure he's obviously going to resist), she needs to cozy up, sort of suggest things, and see how he takes it--- more often than not, the man's 'lightbulb' will go off, he'll come up with something, think it's all his idea, and be all gung-ho about it.

But if he's resistant to that kind of a tactic, well then I say I don't think that there's much that can be done. You said your self that they are basically polar opposites... for a woman so level headed I'm not sure that it was in her best interest to marry someone so opposite her.

Finally their lust for eachother has nothing to do with it. Also remember that with men, there will always be a 'spark...' in the pants. I don't feel any real love from this man for his family or else he would be putting them first before himself.

Anyway good luck to your friend...

Uhhhhh..... I have been there! Myspace broke up my 5 year engagement in a round about way ( not me doing the myspacing) I think Facebook and Myspace are horrible for relationships and I would be happy if they would just go away, but they wont. So you have to learn to live with it. From his perspective I think he probably feels embarassed that he has to not be friends with people because his wife does not trust him. Now I know you are saying I don't trust him because he lied and I am with ya sister but this is a man we are talking about here and they do not think logically or see the big picture a lot of the time. He is thinking I am not doing anything wrong and you are thinking you are hurting me that should be enough for you not to do it. I think you should let him have his facebook and add who he wants but you do the same. Unfortunately this is the age of technology and that has opened up a whole new world of problems for relationships. You are going to have to trust him and let him have his friends or it will not work out. If you make him delete people or his account he will end up resenting you. You don't want that. Who cares about the ex's, as long as he is not talking to them on the phone or seeing them or messaging them excessively I don't think it as big as a deal as it seems. Lost of women out there let their husbands be friends with whoever they want and this makes you look like you are being unreasonable. I am not saying you are because I totally feel where you are coming from but this is how it feels to him. If you are too restrictive he may start doing everything behind your back.

Just sounds like to me that he is irresposible with his spending and she is the one that HAS to try and be responsible and keep in line with money. Sounds like she's not going to win though.

The fact that he has so little respect for her and her opinion on what should be done with the $ speaks very loud and clear to me. On top of everything the guy seems lazy at least when it comes to his family.

She needs to learn to just accept this is who he is. If the "spark" is all they have then she needs to decide if its worth it.....

Hope she don't mind living a life of this stuggle and the debt that he will drag her down to though.

My opinion. They should sell everything that they are not driving and use that money towards a new truck or bed or whatever it is he's trying to buy. And the 15000 should go towards the family and savings. They need to both realize that since they are married there is no your money my money. It's "OUR" money.

She should support it, it's his thing, as long as he's putting food on the table, he will appreciate her support.

Thumbs down? Hey, no man ever changed with more nagging fyi, he's gotta learn the hard way, ever heard of the school of hard knocks? Then he'll change, if she's smart she should just let it play itself out.

If the situation does not affect you, then stay out of it. I have had people interfere with my relationship & I am now separated with pending court appearances.

They are both adults and if it is a big problem between them let them sort it out themselves or consult a lawyer.

I think you might be interested with this type of guys. I think they should sit on what they have and enjoy life as economy is so bad now.