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Help with obese friend?
I've recently become friends with a charming young woman who is in her mid 20's. We're just getting to really know each other and because she lives with her parents I've invited her to my home numerous times to hang out. I love her to pieces, however, she is morbidly obese--probably about 200 lbs overweight--and is destroying my furniture. She is so large she cannot sit normally on my couch, and constantly twists and turns in the chair to try to fit. I've recently noticed that my brand new $1200 couch is falling to pieces and breaking down from her sitting on it. The cushions are actually ripping apart. (okay, yah, I got ripped off paying that much for this couch but that's a mute point now) To further complicate the issue, she is in severe denial about her weight and constantly refers to the fact that we are the same size even though I'm not obese and am 3 inches taller than her. How do I gracefully, and tactfully, let her know that she can no longer sit on my furniture? HOW DO I DO THIS WITHOUT DEVASTATING HER?! I'm really the only friend she has due to low self confidence. Not inviting her over anymore won't work, flat-out telling her she can't sit on my couch won't work, and we're not at a level in our friendship where I can be totally and brutally honest with her. HELP!
1 Answer
- lady_bellaLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
I can tell you (from having been obese myself in the past, and now significantly lost a lot of weight), that your furniture is not made very well, and if she is doing this to your furniture, she could be well over 200 lbs. But good made furniture will not break down due to over weight people. It's the quality. Couches are made to sit on, not to look pretty all the time. However, I understand your concern. Please don't tell her not to sit on your couch any more. Eventually get a new one later on down the road, and chalk this one up as a comfy, friend inviting, couch.
Obese people do have a hard time getting comfortable. There is no graceful, or tactful way of telling her, "hey you're breaking my couch, please don't sit there".
Perhaps a better solution is to indirectly get her involved in exercise? Tell her, "hey lets go for a walk, it's a nice day/night". Or, "hey lets go bowling". Doing some activity will actually help her posture significantly, therefore leaving her to sit more comfortable, and correctly on the couch without twisting her body to find the comfort. Hanging out at the house, is only encouraging her lack of exercise. Since you are healthier, try and get her outdoors to do some fun activities. This will also help boost her esteem!
This will also be a way of; less sitting on the couch; and more moving around. :-)
OH...if you have a Wii game, that is an awesome way of working out, while staying indoors. Get the boxing game! I had so much fun with my husband doing this...I kicked his butt, and boy what a work out! :-) We don't have one yet, (played at a friends house), but eventually we will invest in one.
Hope I've helped you some. :-)
