Don't you hate it when...?

Question

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

People who are willing to get off their a*s to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". too right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? 

When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No dipstick, I paid a tenner to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have had something wrong with it before 

When people say, "life is short". What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here genius?

People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be. So what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?

And by the way this question got deleted last time and  I don't see anything wrong with it, I've seen so many more offensive and sick things put on here this is no way near.

noodles · Accepted Answer

This is great! I agree with you on every point.............Thank you for making me giggle on my birthday.  :-)


Thank you simplicity541  :-)   :-)

juliana · Answer

I've made this with shrimp or chicken or no meat at all. This recipe is very adaptable. Another sauce can be substituted, such stir fry sauce in a bottle Shrimp Fried Rice Recipe 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 8 large shrimp, peeled and deveined 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped 1/2 cup chopped onion 1/2 cup diced carrots 1 egg, lightly beaten 2 cups cooked white (or brown) rice (May want to start with a tablespoon first) 3 tablespoons soy sauce 3 scallions, thinly sliced In a large non-stick skillet or wok, heat oil over medium high heat. Cook shrimp quickly until pink. Remove to board and chop coarsely. Discard shrimp tails. Add garlic and onion to skillet and cook for 1 minute. Stir in carrots and cook for 2 minutes. Add egg and rice and toss quickly to distribute egg. Stir the rice for a few minutes (more or less depending on your taste) before adding the soy sauce. Stir in soy sauce. Toss in scallions and serve.

Anonymous · Answer

No!  I don't hate it when people do all that stuff!  Have you ever thought...

-People don't always need the toilet only to use their crotch!  They might want to wash up, etc.

-People may not have familiarized themselves with the buttons on the TV so they find it difficult to change the channel manually.

-Well, if you want to eat the cake then don't grumble when the cake is over!  You can either eat it or keep it!

Well, I am sure people do and say things for reasons best know to themselves!  Why should we hate what they do, at most get amused and move on!!!.

Anonymous · Answer

No I don`t hate it. I like having a laugh and a joke about the things people say and do, even total strangers. I might get the odd `Look`
but in general folk do tend to join in, sometimes at their own expense.
I laughed at all of these and will definitely use them.
A one I have heard a few times :-
"Where is Johnny". Answered by "He is up the hospital with his leg".
Duh !

Mark K · Answer

Here's a star.

Absolutely hilarious.

Well DONE

яαωяяя ♥ · Answer

haha love it, i understand completely 

i cant help laughing whenever i see this (i have seen it before and its still funny!!!) 

thx ill star

Anonymous · Answer

I hate it when skinny people ask fat people if your gonna eat all of that, if they're eating. Well duh!!!!!!




I'm not fat and no offence to fat people (even though its not offencive)

Anonymous · Answer

oh yeah. I hate when people ask the obvious.

Anonymous · Answer

Really this got taken off ?? What a load of bull !!! these are funny !! Im definitly gunna use these !! Thanks 4 posting !!! XP

Sunshine · Answer

I think its funny but its kind of a glass half empty kind of outlook.

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Don't you hate it when...?

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