Am I over reacting? What should I do?

Read your post and pretend I wrote it to you about my man. What would you say to Me?

Love grows where trust is laid, love dies where trust is betrayed (TigressLuv)

Why would you even bother calling the girls? Do you think you can be his wife and a policeman constantly policing women away from him if he encourages them? This is about him not them!! Dont blame them. Girls dont call a man unless he gives them reasons. How much garbage are you willing to put up with just to have this man in your life? What risks are you willing to take to keep him(disease, financial ruin, sharing him, emotional baggage) Dont bury your head just cause you think you love him. You arent that desperate for a man are you? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life walking on eggshells wondering who he is texting or sharing intimate pictures with? Are you willing to gamble that he will leave you cause you say or do something or gain a few pounds? Or are you going to demand the honesty and respect you deserve? Is your husband going to change? probably not. Are you better off without him? Only you can answer that. Only you know what you deserve and need in your life.

Good luck and be happy. Peace.

I dont think you are overreacting at all. I also think that your husbands behaviour is very inappropriate and can definetly lead to a more serious situation.

Your husband is not respecting your feelings or the fact that he is a married man at all. Dont blame the women, or even talk to them for that matter. It is not their fault, unfortunately the blame can only be placed on your husband.

If he is unwilling to discontinue these inapproriate relationships with the women he is working with, then he is not ready to be a married man. The longer you put up with his actions, the more he will feel as though you are going to just deal with it. If a man can have his cake and eat it too then he will.

The only advice I can give is to tell him that he needs to stop. PERIOD. If he says no then you need to have the strength to get up and go. Not saying divorce is the answer, but you can go and stay with family or friends. Stay away for about a week, maybe two. This will make him realize that you are serious. This will also give him a taste of what it is like to have you gone. This will lead to 1 of 2 things . . . either he will change his ways, or he will realize that he is not ready to be married.

It is a scary thing . . . but in the end you will know the truth. You should allow yourself to go through all of this for a man that is not willing to treat you right.

Ok. I first want to say that I'm sorry for this confusion you're going through. I have been through it so many times before, fortunately, none with my husband, but with a previous boyfriend. And I know that it's not a fun time. It seems as if you're angry at the girls rather than at your husband. Does he have a history of cheating? I can see if he has a history how that would cause you to feel a little insecure with their relationship. The best advice that I can give you is to be open and up front about it. Let your husband know how you feel. And if it really doesn't bother you that he has friends, no matter what sex, why not invite them over for dinner or a cocktail party of some sort. I had this battle with my ex-boyfriend and it's amazing how I allowed him to ruin my life. Not completely, but a good day could go sour in an instant if I didn't know where he was or if I found something. My current husband and I have a fantastic relationship and I try to be more open to him having female friends. Being more open to his has allowed me such great freedom of stress! Good Luck!

NO you are not over reacting. Your husband is the one you have a problem with the women are not there to help you keep your man. You should have more respect for yourself, he is being unfaithful if not physically then mentally and do you really care which. Work on your self esteem, talk to a good attorney and find out what your rights are and then make a decision of what you want to do.

I did, I found that I could get alimony for life, and I do, my ex married one, that he wasn't seeing and is now divorced from her but I still get paid. It hurt a lot but I am a better person for him leaving, I did not like the way I felt, when he did things and then told me stuff to make me think I was stupid and wrong. I was stupid to think those things about myself, I have been getting paid well for a long time and am looking forward to his retirement, I get paid then too.

Been there, done that, got the Tshirt and the check to prove it.

I am so sorry you have joined my club, get strong and do what you want to, if you want to stay then do that but know your options, I hope you are using safe sex so you don't catch anything that is not curable like aids.

I know I do not sound nice, but you need to hear the truth, I wish I could reach out and hold your hand Be strong for yourself love yourself.

1. You are not overreacting, if what you say is true, then yes, there seems to be something going on.

2. Despite the point of number one, freaking out about it and making it control you is the last thing that you want. Keep control of what you can control, aka your attitude and disposition.

3. Communication is key in relationships. If communication fails, then other things follow.

This is a very tough situation to be in, and I can see how its hard to know what to do. Every man (trust me) likes to be liked, and it feels good when to have multiple female friends. This doesn't mean that your marriage is failing, but it does mean that HE needs to have the right attitude and correct focus in his life.

Ps. It seems like you are a bit paranoid about the whole thing, so perhaps take a step back and see it from a different point of you. If you see the same thing happening, then maybe the issue is as big as you think it is.

This seems Very complicated. My best advice would be to talk straight to him. Tell him EXACTLY how these girls are making you feel about your marriage. Tell him how much they are hurting you. He is your Husband and it does mean something. It means he should be on your side. Maybe discuss how you would like to get to know these girls to build up some trust. show your husband how maturely you can handle it and see if he maturely respects that and honors that...if that makes since... be sincere when you tell him everything and bring everything to his attention so that he knows exactly where you stand.

To him they might only be co-workers, and maybe he is oblivious to the flirting coming from the other end of the phone. Tell him how the calls bother you he might not realize how much pain he is Truly putting you in. Men are Oblivious!

The pictures would aggravate any girl. no one wants to see there man with looking at another girl. or even saving the pictures to remind the guy of her. ask him politely to delete them and tell him how it bothers you too... tell him the truth. it may hurt but all in all, he needs to know where you stand or he cant help you.

a relationship takes both people active and trying to make it work, if hes "slacking" on his part you need to tell him exactly how your feeling so he can try his hardest to make it work

"It takes two to tango." don't forget that

Every Happiness. I hope everything works out.

Hayden♥

they are laughing at you....and most likely he's doing something with them...something that a married man shouldn't be doing with a women that isn't his wife. All the signs are there..i just don't think you're ready to face facts.

The thing is....he doesn't care anymore...that's why he doesn't delete his texts and pictures. If he cared about your marriage he would, at the very least, delete them....he really truely loved you and the family he had created with you...he wouldn't do any of the things he's doing, period.

The fact that he works with them is one thing ( at least he's working ya know) but i would with mostly men myself, and none...and mean none...call my phone or text me. We've all gone out for drinks after work on occassion, but they don't call me on my cell and I don't do that stuff to them either. Most of them are married or have girlfriends...and i have a boyfriend. It would just be inappropiate and start something that just doesn't need to be started with the spouses..my boyfriend included. Hence, why we just don't do it. There's no need to. LOL we spend 40 hours a week together anyways. When we're home it's family time.

Now, i do have one really good guy friend that texts me and we chat all the time. I have a some pictures (and so does he) of when he tied me up with zip ties and wooped my butt with a belt...now that sounds to be questionable...BUT i was fully clothed AND i was talking smack saying he doesn't have the balls. I was all in good fun...he's more like a brother to me than anything else. We've never slept together either. My boyfriend is aware of the pictures b/c i keep them in my phone for "old-times sake" sort of thing, but there's nothing else that is questionable.

My suggestion is...D.I.V.O.R.C.E

I'm sorry this is happening but you need to direct your frustration at the right person: YOUR HUSBAND. The fact is, these women wouldn't remotely be calling or texting him if HE set boundaries and if HE showed them he respects/loves you. It's up to HIM to set those boundaries and expectations. If he's allowing this behavior, then it's a problem with him, not them. I think it's natural for you to feel anger towards them, especially if you haven't gotten the response from your husband that you want. There's no place else for your anger to go but to them. But I think if you really step back and think about things, you'll see that it's HIS fault really and you need to determine what your breaking point is.

This isn't just a silly case of him doing a few inappropriate things. It's a matter of RESPECT and love. The very fact that it bothers you should mean something to him. That point alone should compel him (if he really loved you) to no longer speak to these women outside of work and not respond to their txt messages (eventually they'd give up). But the fact that you've TOLD him how you feel and he just blows you off & continues doing it....well, that's a big problem. I think you guys seriously need to attend marriage counseling to get it worked out. There are trust and respect issues going on here.

I'm about to give you the best advice you'll ever get. at least i think so. the problem is not with these women, so you need to stop calling and texting them or thinking about showing up at the job b/c they don't owe you a thing. yes what they are doing is wrong b/c they know he's married, but as previously stated, they don't owe you a damn thing. i don't know your husband, so i can't be for sure, but i can say that either he's cheating on you with one or all of these women OR he's a flirt and likes to see how far he can take it without it actually being considered cheating. either way, you deserve better. you need to give him an ultimatum and mean it. nobody should have to deal with sh*t like this in their marriage. this is some high school boyfriend/girlfriend type of mess.

I feel for you but your husband doesn't feel the same way as you do or he would not be calling these women and he would respect you doesn't sound like he has much respect for you or your marriage showing up at work would only embarrass you in the end .just stop fighting him ignore the phone calls and wait and see what happens i kinda agree he likes pitting you all against each other just watch and see soon you will know if he having an affair witch would not surprise me with human nature being what it is