New Moms: Did u and ur husband have trouble financially after u had a baby?

I generally don't share this, but your story kind of hit home.

My husband and I had twins in Feb of 07, they were born 8 weeks early and spent time in the NICU. While we were in the hospital my HR dept called and asked if I was planning on adding the twins to my insurance. She said it would be a bit more then the 72 dollars I was paying a month but not to bad, maybe 50-60. Well of course I added them, they needed the insurance. I was out of work for about 7 months all together because of my complications with the delivery and a few other reasons. My work paid my premiums the entire time, I was very thankful for that.

When I returned to work I got my first pay check, it should have been for about 900 dollars, it was for 600.....that's when I discovered that my monthly premiums went from 72 dollars a month, too 620 a month. We couldn't afford that.

Michigan offers a state insurance that is through Blue Cross, it's for children, if you make enough to not qualify for medicaid but not enough to afford premiums you qualify, You pay 10 dollars a month. per child. So we set up to enroll them only to find out that you can not enroll kids who already have insurance, then we find out we can't take the twins off of my insurance without having them already enrolled in another. We were out of luck.

SO we had to pay the 600 a month, which I know it sounds bad, but that was our house payment every month. We were on a strict budget,but 600 in premiums was not in our budget.

Long story short we nearly lost our house because we ended up being 2 weeks late on a payment, then the Mortgage company would not take anything but that month and then the next months which we didn't have both months at once. It was a mess.

It put a lot of stress on us, I was working full time on first then DH would work full time on 2nd so we never saw each other. Then I lost my job because my position was eliminated. It was a mess.

People gave us grief that we had no business having children if we didn't have six months worth of income set aside.

In the long run we have worked hard, kept the house and are no on track and happy. In the midst of that we filed chapter 13 to save the house, which has just helped us get things in order. We felt silly going in front of the judge with only the house arrears on our case, that was our only debt. (we went from owing 1200 to them to owing 9000 in fee's in a 3 month period, bad mortgage company)

It was a strain on us, but we made it through.

Rite now both you and your husband are going through a lot, there are alot of emotions going on. But if you two want it bad enough you'll make it work, it is possible, trust me I didn't believe it a year ago, But we did it.

Keep strong, don't forgot your hormones are going to get the best of you rite now!!

Best of luck!

The only reason we didn't is cause we planned and planned and saved and saved and planned a little bit more a soon as we decided to try to concieve.

Even though we are ok just now we watch every penny we spend and always try to find cheaper alternatives if possible.

My partner works 52 hr weeks. 13 hr shift over 4 days. He feels bad that 4 days a week he doesn't get to spend much time with our daughter and I feel bad that he is working that hard to keep me as well. But then that is what marriage and relationships are about, give and take, and in the end working together to keep everything running.

Don't feel bad. it wouldn't be you making your husband feel like a failure he probably has his own insecurities.

At the end of the day all your son needs is food, a clean bottom, warmth and love. he doesn't need hundreds of pounds or dollars worth of toys or clothes.

You should be thankful for what you have. Although of course I understand your concern.

You have to be at home to look after your son and your both doing a great job so there is not much you can do to help pay the bills just now.

Just try to cut back more if it is possible.With cloth diapers or nappies, breast feeding instead of formula. Buying generic brands instead of named. Selling on clothing that your son has outgrown. Always looking for cheaper alternatives and deals. If you have a car walking more places to save on the cost of petrol. That sort of thing. Just generally down sizing your lifestyle if that is at all possible.

First of all, you are helping him! You're taking care of the baby!! But, on the other hand, I know exactly how you feel because I am in the same exact place. Our daughter is now almost 5 months old and I stopped working when I was like 7 months pregnant. There are some things you can do online to bring in some extra cash if you have the time such as inboxdollars.com or chacha (just google it). I know that both of these are not scams. I know that it's really hard on him (and you) to be on one salary but think, if you did work you'd only be paying to put your little one in day care for someone else to raise and that is just not worth it if you can avoid it. My husband and I have been having financial troubles as well, just remember that you are a team and it will get better. Fighting with each other about it is not going to help though (TRUST ME on that one, for a while it was the only thing we talked about!!). Just get really really organized, cut your coupons, shop the sales and you'll make it!!

Hi,

We were pretty unprepared and definitely not well off financially when we had our first child, she was a surprise, we were 20 year olds and my fiance was a full time uni student with a part time job. Anyway, things were tough, when she was 4 months old I decided to go around and buy secondhand stuff and sell it on ebay for a profit, as time went by I learned my 'trade' better and found new directions that worked better and once I had it going I was making about $500 a week and all I had to do was sit at the computer and then of course there was the packaging every day. Try something like that, you will just need to try save up a bit of cash to start up.

the place is the venture for the youngster? IF he's the father then this new child desires his or her daddy of their life. era. Be it via each year visits, telephone calls or perhaps chatting through way of webcam all toddlers desire and should have their father play an energetic place of their life. Get the DNA attempt to function your husband guy up, pay although new child help is important, if desire be use a share of his each year earnings or salary to base the quantity on. as an occasion the place I stay the proportion is 28%. If the mum is going to invite him to take custody then the responsible and person portion of do is include his new child and take on the situation of step mom. scuffling along with her over trivial issues isn't something greater desirable than a administration subject on your area. she would be although type of man or woman she is even though it won't erase the certainty that your husband has had a new child along with her and that youngster is an portion of him. For the infant's sake end the petty struggling with and intensely own as much as the accountability. And purely for the checklist, I too am very petite. I walked out of the medical institution wearing length 00 denims after each and each of my 3 super and wholesome toddlers have been born. length potential no longer something, the DNA can no longer lie.

I know exactly how it feels to live week to week on one check and the horrible guilt! I had to quit my night shift job when I was almost four months along and my husband also works for tips (except he's in another industry and they pool all the tips together and split it) so it's not stable income or even stable days. He just graduated with Bachelor's degree in December and only had one interview (this week!) after sending out tons of resumes in the past four months. It's hard not to feel hopeless in an economy where a college degree doesn't even get you through the door anymore.

It hits me sometimes too, when I see him put back items that are only a dollar at the store so that we have more money for essentials and bills I feel like the failure for not being able to continue working through my pregnancy. I wanted to be financially stable before we had children but life happens and though I have my days I never for a second regret this baby. We find strength in each other and our love for our upcoming addition.

As for what we're doing about it, it's not glamorous or an easy solution. We are moving back in with his parents (they are nice enough to give us two bedrooms and the front living room for our own 'space') because they live in a more populated and industrious area where salaries are higher (more job opportunities). Also, of course, to pay off debts and save money. I will need to start looking for work soon after the baby is born, which I will admit wasn't ideal because I really wanted to be there for her for the first year but she's in good hands with my mother in law.

The only thing you can do now is stay positive and support him emotionally. I know it's hard, but I'm sure that when he sees you sad or anxious he gets even more down about your situation. You need to be his rock, and he will be yours. Also, things may not work out exactly how you want them to, but they will work out and things will get better!

Actually we did. We were doing awesome financially while I was pregnant. Then a month after Aisling, now 6 months, was born the recession started affecting us. My boyfriend got laid off and is now working 7 days a week delivering pizzas just so we can keep up on bills. I would love to go back to work but we can't afford daycare so there really isn't much I can do to help.

Do you know other mums who are sending their children to daycare? You can offer to babysit and then help your husband out with the bills that way.

with the first one not really but i'm due with #2 and i just recently lost my job and he's the only one bringing in any income and it doesn't make it any better that he gets paid monthly. I feel the same as you and don't know what to do but try my best with spending less on food and keeping the bills low. Good Luck maybe someone has an option for you I tried baby sitting but that doesn't bring in much for us.

I'm sorry to hear how your feeling! My little one is 9 months old and my partner said to me he wants me to stay at home with ours, if I mention going to work he says he feels like he's failed us if I go back to work as he is the one to support us. Have a chat with him, work our where you can cut back on things to help with money. You need to be concentrating on your 1 week old - he needs you. Your job is to look after your little one while your husband is working, he will see it that way too - trust me! Justbe there when he comes home tired and wants some support and you'll soon start to feel better. Good luck and congratulations!