the 1st thing my mother-in-law said to me at the maternity after giving birth to my son was...?

who cares what she thinks, my mother inlaw thought beause my daughter is pretty she looked like her, pfft, she didnt look S*** like her.

Ok, they weren't at the conception of your child so why should they be at the birth? The answer to this question lies in the fact that you are asking it in the first place. If you had that kind of relationship with your mother you would already know if you wanted her with you. Some women DO have that relationship and that's ok. But - importantly - you feel it's private so you should explain as gently and as lovingly as you can that it's going to be stressful enough as it is and you would much rather it was just you and your husband and no on else. No other distractions, because you will have enough work to do. Trust me. You can also say how much you will need her (and your mother in law) AFTER the baby is born. Don't feel pressured into agreeing for anyone else's sake. You will regret it and it will spoil the memory of the most important / life changing event in your life, forever - the birth of your first child. My mother (I do love her) turned up at the hospital even though I had asked her not to. She kept coming to the labour room door and I had to keep asking her to wait outside. She was just worried about me (and I'll probably be the same lol). She did wait all those hours and I guess a part of me was relieved that 'my mummy' was close in case something dreadful happened. But I stuck to my guns about it being just my husband and me in the room and I am so glad that I did. My mother in law had also asked to be there but I had nailed that one from the start (see first sentence). There are enough boundary issues once children come along that you really don't need her thinking she gave birth to them as well. You're not being harsh. Be confident about what you want. You feel that IT IS A PRIVATE experience between a husband and wife and everyone around you should respect that no matter how much they love you. Best wishes.

You are blowing this really trivial comment that your mother-in-law made way out of proportion. So what if people comment on your son's hands. All they are saying is that they're big. That's it. They are not saying it's ugly or that it's not normal. And if you react as such (that is, it's a bad thing to have big hands), then your son will pick up on your negative response to that comment and feel insecure about his hands when he wouldn't otherwise.

You're probably not getting any support because you're making something out of nothing at all. Stop paying so much attention to what they say about his hands. I'm sure they also say a lot of other positive things about him. Focus on that instead.

I think what you're probably feeling hurt that she's not noticing something really positive about your son, mind you there's nothing wrong with big hands in a man, my husband and our 6 month old son both have them. But I think that maybe you want her to notice other things about your child, the obvious characteristics about him that are positive, maybe your son has beautiful eyes, a sweet smile, a gorgeous chubby face. Tell her that!! Tell her thanks for noticing the hands and that next time you'd love to hear something really positive about your baby, that it kind of hurts your feelings that she's not noticing all of the great things. Hope this helps, I know how tough in laws can be and how sometimes they can make your emotions feel very raw, reasonable or not they are your feelings and you are Mom!

Yes...my mother said that about my son...and it's true. He does. Nothing wrong with it...I had big hands as well as a baby...and as an adult I still do. They are not freakishly huge. I have very long fingers and I'm fine with it. I wouldn't be so sensitive about it. I know I freaked about the smallest things in the postpartum period, but I don't think her saying "he has big hands" is at all a bad thing. I think it's a compliment. It makes your baby distinct. Everyone looks for something like that. For instance, my son's left ear became "folded" in the womb from how he was lying...it's different, and people comment on it, but I think it is cute...At 4 months it is still there...very noticeable. Now your husband not supporting on anything is another issue entirely.

I can't tell you how many nurses stared with "Woah look at the size of his head, and his hands, and those feet" but then they would say he is cute and add they don't say that when babies aren't cute.

I don't know people always comment on how big his hands are. Its taken as a sign he will be a big adult, not a big deal. Its not meant negatively. Its the same to me as when people say his eyes are really blue, or he has such blonde hair.

If it bugs you, say something

(BTW daddy has a big head, and big hands. Aside from being unable to buy hats it doesn't bug him)

I dont see anything wrong with this..I mean when you have a new baby you look at every part if his body and im sure thats what she did too, I dont see he has big hands as an insult.

My mother yelled out oh my god he has big testicles as soon as he came outta me.. of course its was inappropriate but she lieks to joke... the doctor and all the nurses and i and my boyfriend and my mother in law stopped to laugh..

Just imagine if your mother in law would have said that :P..

theres nothing wrong with big hands :)

and how u said about its only your husbands family that tlaks about the hands.. thats normal...every time i see someone from my hubbys family.. first thing they say is how he looks so much like his father!! but he really doesnt lol.

I honestly don;t think she means anything bad....maybe she thinks it is a sign he will be tall and well built...paople equate the size of a baby's feet and hands with their eventual height....yes it would be nicer to say "Oh his hair is so pretty" or "He has such lovely eyes!" but she maybe is old fashioned and not good at complimenting people. Take no notice...just say "yes and what about his cute hair? Or his lovely eyes? And give her the opportunity to compliment him further,.

Your son is a part of you and since he cant take up for him you are doing that- and that motherly instinct will stay with you till the day you die. You love your son unconditionally no matter what- I can tell by reading what you wrote you are a great mom. However your mother in law isn't being so grand about everything. She is being rude expecially bringing it up all the time. She probably knows it bothers you or is just bored with simple conversation and likes to start stuff. I would talk to her and tell her enough is enough and she needs to stop her sh^t- for real! And you and your husband are a team he needs to be more supportive. I wish you the best of luck.

Why are you insulted about that? When my nephew was born we were amazed at how big/long his feet and hands were.He looked like a little gorilla...it was cute!

I doubt she is making it as a insult.She is just probably amazed that a lil one can have big hands.Having big has is nothing bad.

I really dont that you are over reacting if it bothers you it bothers you and you should tell her so. But I am sure she loves him. Your husband should support you and tell his mother that it bothers you. If he has big hands or if he dont have big hands it is your son and sounds like maybe this is your first child and you are being protective of him or maybe you got teased about something as a child and this is bothering you and you dont want him to go thru what you did.