Why does she still stay with him after the HELL he's put her through ?!!?

I've actually gone through the same dilemma. Not nearly to your extent, but you get the idea, I feel ya.

However after talking it over with family, friends and others, it's become apparent to me that the girl I had (and to a certain degree, still have, but NOWHERE near where I once was) such deep feelings for didn't reciprocate the same feelings for me. It's hard to believe and to swallow that someone you care so deeply about does not see it. But in reality, they do. Unfortunately, they'll most likely NEVER feel the same way... EVER. It's like in Forrest Gump. Poor Forrest had to suffer through hell and back and got her when she had no other person to turn to. And see, that's the thing: she KNOWS you'll be there. So be comforted that you keep her from completely crashing every time she goes through the guy's b-s. But by the same token, have some respect for yourself.

That is to say, MAN-UP. If you're EVER going to have a chance with her, YOU have to MAN-UP! Next time dude scams her, cheats on her, etc. DO NOT BE HER PILLOW! Tell her, in a calm and confident manner, that you're not going to be there for her. BUT, I recognize that even when a tear pours out from her eye, your heart breaks. I know, because I've felt the same. You'd give your life for her if it meant she'd live a perfect life. But unfortunately, you're perpetuating this relationship wheel. Without you, the gears can't turn, for YOU, not HER, are the catalyst. I mean, you'd be surprised how much you mean to someone when they count on you, and you're NOT there.

By doing so, you'll begin to start looking at her differently. Right now, you care for her. But over time, most likely it'll turn to pity. And your pent-up angst and frustrations do NO ONE any good. It keeps you angry and it keeps the girl from hitting rock bottom and hitting realization. Trust me, it'll be for the better. If she's TRULY worth it, she'll value herself more than she currently does and will long for your company.

But if she never does, you can't blame yourself. Like System of a Down so beautifully put it: "Angels deserve to die."

Think about that for a minute.

What I mean is that her suffering will be in vain if she never reaches HER happiness. But also, if you continue her suffering by being her angel, you'll keep her from true happiness. And as weird as it sounds, YOU'RE being selfish by helping her. It brings YOU comfort knowing you're helping her, and it justifies your care-giving. And while I laud your dedication, I also frown upon it. How can you love OTHERS if you don't love YOURSELF enough to know that YOU'RE being hurt? It's weird, but you're gonna have to move on.

It'll hurt, I know, but you'll find someone who sees you as their angel and loves you for it. I feel this girl is more using you as a crutch and band-aid than her go-to guy. I wish it were much easier, but life's crazy.

The only constant in life is change man...

Coming from the perspective of a girl who was in the EXACT same situation that you're friend is, I totally understand why i did but her reason's may be completely different. Basically it really comes down to a matter of your affection towards the person. I really truely love my ex-boyfriend, and despite me giving him 500$ to pay of a student bill (which he never paid back) and him guilting me into giving him money for weed and other things. She may not realize it but he has a control over her; is she more distant from her friends than she was before she started going with him and does she always turn to him when she is hurt despite having great peopel around her? If so, then he has an unconscious control on her that she has no idea of.

My ex did on me; he basically caused me to distance myself from those who cared about me more than him. This guy she is with probably had no one before her and although she may think he is the greatest thing for her, she is probably the best thing that has ever happened to him. He wants her to be as lonely as he was before her; it's a control thing and is really considered emotional abuse. I knwo that being with my ex, although had its ups, it had many downs that weren't visible to me until a couple major wake-up calls.

The first being that he broke my computer and blamed it on me for not givng him a proper case to store it in.

The second being that I miscarried his child (which he blamed me for being pregnant in the first place) and wasn't with me when I went to the hospital.

The third was that I was being tested for cervical cancer and he refused to listen to me and my "stupid" issues.

Basically, when it comes down to it all these major issues that you see him doing and hurting her, she may just brush them off for the reason that good people sometimes do bad things, but he just seems like a total toolbag. She is being controlled by him and feels like losing him will be like losing everything. It could take him pawning off her mother's wedding ring or something even worse before she get's that final wake-up call, but hopefully it will come. The best thing you can do is just be there for her and if they do get married, (which I pray they don't) then you can shoot him dead, but until then insulting him or hurting him in anyway will only directly cause her more pain.

Hope this helps!

Your airhead friend is a good match for this guy. She is not a victim, she is the type of woman good for him. Like an abusive family relationship, he may be all she knows and won't leave. You, however, are not part of her disaster of a life and ought not seek out people who's life are a mess. You are imagining she is not giving him sex for his attention. She is obviously not the fine person you think she is.

I guess the quote "Love is blind" says it all. She's in love with this guy and don't wanna loose him at any cost. That's the reason she just overlooks at all the things he has done. Well, if she really finds a better person who would adore her and love her for what she is and who she is, and realizes this, she would move on.