how long am i supposed to wait before I move on with my life?

Question

My wife left me on Friday, moving back home with her folks. (The same people who she claimed beat her and made her life a living hell!) However, when i asked her in front of her mother she denied it! WTF!?!?!?!? Was she lying? I really dont think so but, I just dont know why she would leave to go to THEM! Her father hates me anyways! She has said that he resents me for having the things that him and his wife didn't have when they were Jenn's and my age(26/28) I never felt like I was a member of her family in all of the 8.5 years that we were together and NOW I feel like SHE has sabotaged all of that! Her father is def. loving the fact that she left AND that she/he took both of OUR cars! I legally have rights to one of them but I am not going to shitty like them. It just goes to show how LOW/NO CLASS they are! I always knew that though! I am just so blown! I guess what I am asking for advice on is how long should I wait to go out and start having fun as far as hooking up with the ladies again? It has been almost 7 months since I have had sex(if you were interested) and I was stupidly faithful. I am in THE BEST shape of my life and I am only 28. Green eyes, brown hair, olive complex, 6'1, 180 Italian/Peruvian I think that I am a catch for any honey. They only problem is that I am married! I am catholic and it DOES mean something to me.  

She left me after counseling didn't work! The therapist dumped us because she wouldn't get her own therapy; i have been seeking my own! (her excuse, she didn't have $13 per visit to save our marriage) it wasn't/I am not important enough(my words,not hers) so after that i said there is no point in sharing a bed. she moved to the spare room and then moved out because she claims I told her to.  That is her rational behind leaving and taking both cars.  She thinks that we are just separated and that we are going to "work" things out! Well its been 5 days and she has made NO attempt to contact me in regards to counseling, talking, anything other than ebay took fees out of her bank account and that I intentionally STOLE the money! Not the case!  I am so lonely and she knows how bad its been for me. Were I was emotionally I am not going to kill myself BUT i WAS in  DARK DARK place and SHE DI DNT CARE! 
that just tells me she never loved me at all! marriage is about honor and commitment and unity! 

I want to be happy and I dont want to be alone! I am SO ALONE! I JUST WANT TO BE HELD!  i know that it sounds gay(im not) but I havent had any affection for months! my favorite thing before sex use to be kissing and the last kiss that I got other than a dead fish grandma kiss was i would say at least before new years. I know that I did kiss her maybe a month or so ago in the car or somewhere but she didnt like it and she didnt respond well. we were arguing and i figured that we had to connect SOMEWAY!  I am not going to pay for sex but I AM TIRED OF J@$#ing off . There is NO REASON( I feel that either she is lesbian now or she HAS to be cheating) i dont know its too late now i guess.... 

How long should I wait! I want love or atleast a warm touch of a woman's hand. I miss the scent of her hair, the touch of her skin.  I just miss WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


WTF??????

HOW LONG?  I am serious!!!! I am not going to base my life decision on strangers advice, I am just looking for feedback. To base my decision off of. THANKS

Katie D · Accepted Answer

She sounds really immature. If I were you, I would leave her and move on. Since there really isn't any love left in the marriage I wouldn't say dating other people is cheating, so begin dating whenever you meet someone you like.

Good luck!

Anya · Answer

Well you have a long story but to answer your question, don't wait!  Why should you?  Sure you are married on paper but you there's no chance you would ever be happy with this woman.  Just be sure you stay away from your wife once and for all, starting now.  She has just too many issues...the low class parents beating her up, the strange dad who didn't have what you guys have; and her own refusal to get counseling.  Get away from her and start the divorce proceedings. SHe thinks you are going to let her back into your life to "work things out".  Don't let her!!!

While I think it's too soon to start a relationship with someone else, you can at least enjoy the company of women.  I'm not saying go to bars or nightclubs on a nightly basis but you may find the possibility is higher at those places than at others, to sit and chat with women.  Don't go into too much of your story, though, with any of them. Just have a good time.  Good luck.

? · Answer

If it's your life and decision, I would at least wait till he is found and find out what happened ? Best Wishes. Mars Mission. 14th Year Psychology / Counselling Student. 4th Hypnotism Student. 32 Years Qualified Automotive Technician.

Scott M · Answer

Wow. You're very emotional, and all over the place. You say you're 28, but you sound a lot more like 15. I'm glad you're in the best shape of you're life, maybe physically, but not emotionally. It's only been since Friday, and you are going off on her after 8 years of being together like it's been a month. You both need counseling, if not for your marriage, then for yourselves. Stop thinking about yourself, and think about the both of you. You're married, try acting like it. Talk to her, and not at her parents house, somewhere where you can sit down and talk, like adults. It took two of you to say "I do", it'll take two of you to figure it out.

By the way, thanks for letting us know about playing with yourself, it's really none of our business.

gone fishin · Answer

If you're seeking your own therapy, take this up with your therapist.

This is a big jumbled rant.  You're not ready to end this marriage and you're not ready to move on.  Just take some time and get your head on straight.

As far as her denying the abuse when presented with it in front of the abuser, this is not so odd, considering she was going to be living there.  It probably felt really bad to her for you to do that, btw.

agoodgirl · Answer

I would look deep into my heart and ask myself.  If you have known that the relationship is completely over, then do what you need to do!  If it isn't completely over then just wait for her and try to work things out!  Only you can answer the serious questions that you need answered!  Good Luck!!

Anonymous · Answer

Forget her.  Get some counseling.  I suggest trying to get full custody of any children.  She is mixed up.  She may be gay or it may be a stage...I suggest you concentrate on your own life and try not to get caught up in her life.

girlygirl · Answer

do what you need to do for yourself. she walked away so now is the time to do what you makes you happy. do what you can for your kids, but in the grown up world go find someone who makes you happy

octlibbra70 · Answer

Get over it! She's gone. You will know when to move on when it is time.

NONAME · Answer

Til the divorce is final.

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how long am i supposed to wait before I move on with my life?

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