etiquette charging relatives for holiday dinner?

Holy Crap! That is beyond tacky! It is downright rude and very, very low class. If they can't afford to host a dinner, they shouldn't invite anyone! Perhaps that is how they do it in their trailer park, but the rest of civilization has better manners than that.

That sounds a little tacky to me too in the way that it was worded (judging from what you said in the additional details). I think potlucks are better too because people make sure to get something that they want especially if you are going to be spending money. If there are others who don't like to cook or don't know what to bring, then they can chip in some money for whatever the host is making or buying.

I also think it's a little unreasonable to charge for each family member, kids and all. Kids won't always eat what the parent is paying the $15.00 for either.

The person holding this event is by no means considered a host. A host never charges admission or expects guests to make the food.

Easter is often a cooperative family event, to which people do bring food, and that's perfectly fine as well, the host need not do all the cooking, but to ask for money instead of simply asking others to help cook potlach style is absolutely vile.

Perhaps next year they should simply sell tickets. For your part, since you are being charged admission, maybe you could offer to bring a dish instead. Maybe you'll get a discount. If you are bringing children, be sure to ask for the kid's price.

Yes, that is rather tacky. If the relative is hosting a large number of people though, I think it would be polite to offer to bring a dish or otherwise help out in some way.

Usually when people intend to do that it's for a family reunion and everyone gets together for arranging a place and the meal , you need to realize that if someone has a huge family its only fair that everyone would participate with the cost of this gathering the expense would just be too much for one person to afford unless they were really well off . About your invitation, it's not very clear to me if it was something of the sort but if it was just for a few people then the person whom is inviting you either cannot afford the food or is just plain cheap than I would have to say not only it's tacky but rude as well ..

Yes, it is very tacky.

I think you should tell the host that your charm and wit is worth at least $20, so she actually owes you $5.

The only way this could possibly be acceptable is if this relative is the only one who has a large enough house, or is willing to cook such a big meal, and there are many relatives who never reciprocate, etc. Then maybe the host feels it is just too expensive and unfair for her to take on the entire burden of doing all of the cooking and the expense of the food.

I work in one of those places. But I don't charge the "special" price, I charge the menu price. All of us girls complain every holiday, and the boss does it anyways. They do it to try and trick the customer. I guess to make more money. It's wrong but I'm just the employee! The boss never says anything about us not charging the "special" price, but I would just tell them that they pointed it out in the menu. If that happens to you again, point to the item in the menu and tell them that the special is much more. Some places do include a dessert or something extra with the specials, but you have to pay attention. Sometimes the dessert is cheaper than the dinner/dessert together.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Yes, food is expensive. However, your family could have gotten together, chosen a place to go and then everyone could have brought a dish to pass. But to charge? Are you serious? Do you really think you're gonna eat $15 worth of food. That's expensive for a home cooked meal. This should have all been predetermined and not announced with an invitation. Wow... that's ridiculous.

Profoundly rude. If a host cannot afford to host a dinner, they should have said so long before. They could have easily said then "I really can't afford to host this dinner unless everyone wants to chip in some money".

I don't even know how to react to this - I've never heard of anything like it! I think your only choice to keep the peace is to simply pay up.

I sympathize with you!

Their intent may be good (wanting a family holiday dinner), but their approach is not so hot. A better way of doing this would have been to ask people to bring a particular item (ie, salad, hot side dish, veggie, dessert, or beverages) so no particular family is burdened with the entire expense of the meal.