How do I gain back control with my 3 year old?

For the potty training you really can't push that. But for the control you need to do time outs. He has to sit in place for the full 3 minutes. If he moves, you put him back and start over. If it takes 4 hours, you just keep on doing it. By the second day he will quit trying to resist the time-outs.

For the potty training just try explaining it to him. You can't force him to use the potty, and if it becomes a control issue, it will take much longer. I think he may be using it as a control issue now, but if you push it it will be worse.

Outright defiance automatically gets my children a spanking. I do not beat them, but they get a swat hard enough to know that I mean business and I"m not putting up with their behavior or attitude. They each started around the age of 3. They realize at that age that they can control more. As for the potty training, start putting him on the potty every 30 minutes. Set a timer and have him sit for 5 minutes. Read him a book to keep him occupied. When he pees praise him.

Be consistent, be firm and he will soon realize that you will not allow him to get away with anything.

Personally, I happen to agree with swat for outright defiance. People always say, you can't teach a child not to hit by hitting, but I don't think of it as hitting. We like to call it an "Attention Getter". It usually does the trick, as the name implies, and provides an opportunity for a logical talk. I cannot see how a small swat can be more dangerous than a kid hurting themselves in a fit of temper. Not to mention the beating the house takes. As far as the potty training goes, we give our daughter a special treat for even sitting on the potty. With her, a little praise goes a long way, as do a few M&M's! lol

Good luck! If no one's answers help, please don't hesitate to talk to your child's doctor. That is what they are there for!

I don't think any child would take kindly to being ordered around like a slave? Maybe you should work together to form a more mutual relationship in which both of your needs and feelings are accounted for, while at the same time setting healthy limits which children want anyway? Communicate more, and help him understand what is in it for him?

Thaly: Except unlike workers who can quit their job if their boss mistreats them, children tend to be stuck with their parents no matter what, so try not to take advantage of this power disparity too much.

The best book to read to help you would be Love and Logic Magic for Early childhood by Jim Fay & Charles Fay, PH.D. It gives you a way to work with you son control on you. Read this book and it can really help you now and the misbehavior to come.

well my mom raised four good behavied girls one of wich is very very hyper if she controled us I bet u can control him. decipline, he is not deciplined that's why he's like this. when you say no you better mean it. take him to his room and leave him there and if he does he stays there longer. don't be soft at all, if you want to be the boss you have to act like the boss. do you think bosses let workers get away with bad behavior? no they don't. when my mom said no we knew she meant it. even if we kicked, cried, scratched or watever we knew we had no choice what she said goes.