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How do you have past due child support arrears forgiven?

My ex-husband and I were married for twelve years and divorced in 2007. We have two children between us, ages 14 and 6. I became the primary custodial parent as a result of my ex-husband's physical and psychological abuse. The children and I moved to Wisconsin in July, 2008 and my ex-husband moved to Florida in October, 2008. He paid child support for five months until he moved & has not paid anything since then because he is unemployed. I was laid off in February and am also currently unemployed. I have not reported him to any authorities in order to help him establish himself in his new environment. I haven't even asked for any money except to help with airline tickets so I can send the children to Florida to be with him for the summer. However, he has asked me to remove him from the child support system because he has been trying to gain employment with a federal agency for several months. I am in support of his efforts and have agreed to help him get the job if I can but have suspicions about completely removing him from the child support system altogether. I smell an ulterior motive but I would be willing to have all the past due arrears forgiven if I knew how so he can get the job. He is afraid his license is going to be suspended and that a warrant could be issued for his arrest thereby ruining his chances of getting the job.

Is there a way to have the system forgive all the past due child support so his license won't be suspended? And how do you have your payments reduced?

Update:

Thanks for your answers so far, I really appreciate it. Some believe I am 'naive' and/or 'co-dependent'. I am neither! Believe me, he is a rat and has only been super nice to me lately because he wants something from me. He's always super nice when he wants something then as soon as he has it he's a volcanic rage-aholic again. As I said, I don't want to completely remove him from his obligation but I would like to forgive the arrears so he can get this job and continue paying the support our children need. I just don't know where to start, what forms to ask for and I have to do this out of the state it originated in (NC). Thanks.

Update 2:

Ok... please stop assuming I'm a victim. I'm a survivor and I do not enable this man or make excuses for and I have not done that in asking this question. Trust me, I know he is up to no good and is only trying to get out of his responsibility. Someone asked why I would send the kids to Florida for the summer... the answer is simple: I'm obligated to send them whether he pays support or not. That doesn't make me a naive, codependent victim, it's my legal obligation.

Update 3:

Geeeeeez.... sorry I asked. I asked where to get the forms and all I got was judgment.

Thanks anyway, but no thanks.

15 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    my asnwer is maybe yes.......go to the government ........they will help u out....for sure.....more info jst...search in google

    Source(s): hope i helped:)
  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Child Support Arrears Forgiveness

  • 7 years ago

    What most fail to understand is that if a parent has lost his/her job, which caused arrears to happen, the fact is this money is not going to be recouped. It just ain't going to happen, along with all the other debt that has ensued, both parties should just chalk it up as money lost. "Most people don't lose their jobs on purpose" and countless numbers of child support cases don't need arrears forgiveness so they can go freely about their merry way. I used to work in the system, most cases aren't dead beats. paying child support does not automatically mean the persons a dead beat. Many people prefer the system to avoid having to work with the non custodial parent for non related reasons of support, this can go either way. I've seen more parents then not volunteer to pay child support. yes there are dead beat dads as well as moms even as the acting custodial parents. If a legitimate paying parent loses their license or account due to unintended arrears, then the child loses, point blank! The tone of these comments seem to have a one size hat fits all, which is so far from the case. If i were you Ms. i wouldn't closely evaluate the matter with more balance. Draw up a written agreement and have him sign something in exchange for what he's requesting. See if possible you can include in the agreement to have the arrears re instated if he doesn't hold his end, but think through it. Most of these comments have no balance, but seem to express more to impression of malace! DON'T judge your case by theirs. each case is different!!! Yes, there are plenty of dead beats, but just as many willing to do the right thing. Many cases, arrears happen due to circumstance, job loss is real and illness is real, and many companies are guilty of both!!! I know of many cases where employees face risk of termination due to an employer

  • 1 decade ago

    Sorry but I would not take his sad, sob stories. You need to think about your childrens' best interests and how they will grow up. Once you do anything with the court system you might as well say GoodBye to any support you will get from him in the future. You will get Zero! He's hoping for that.

    You talk @ your legal obligations. What @ his legal obligations to help support the kids?

    How do you know he doesn't have a woman he's hiding from you and wants to live with her and support her instead.

    If you want to be poor the rest of your life, live on welfare, have your children do without then have everything forgiven even the arrears.

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  • 6 years ago

    In New york suffolk county to be exact, the parent who is owed the money can go into the CESB office in person and forgive the arrears thats if the arrears are owed to the individual and not the state anything owed to the state (government ) cannot be forgiven,, atleast not by the individual,, you will have to deal with the courts about arrears owed to the government.

  • 1 decade ago

    There is a form that needs to be filled out. It has to be signed by both parties and turned into the friend of the court (or whatever its called where you are). Its not hard to do especially if both parties are agreeing to it. And even easier if you are the one thats willing to it. Its a pretty easy process. You can go to your local court/friend of the court and ask them for the form. Its called something different in every state, but just explaining to them what you need, they will know. As far as reducing the amount, you just have to fill out a Uniform Child Support Amendment form, or called something similar to that. You can also obtain that at the local court. its pretty self explanatory to fill out, and again, make sure both parties sign it. You will also want to include a letter as to why the amount is being reduced. I have done both of those with my ex and ou daughter and have been able to do them on our own without involving any attorneys and had no problems with them. Hope this helps alittle bit.

  • 5 years ago

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  • 5 years ago

    Most states have statutes of limitations for child support arrears...child support will not tell you about them , WOMEN wont tell you about them ..It may not go away but they cant inforce it legally most is 20 years or 23 a few you are out of luck..

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You would have to go to the court (juvenile court) in the county in which the child support order has been established and speak with a judge or magistrate and have this done. You must file the paper work and explain the situation to the judge and then it is up to his/her discretion. His payments are going to be based on his level of income. And he has to ask for the payments to be lowered due to his lack of income or change of income. Good luck.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I am very suspicious of this. Be very careful. Talk to your local Family & Children's Service and see who they would recommend to talk to about this.

    This could very well be manipulation to get the past due payments off his back. Don't do anything until you can find out what's going on. Don't even think of forgiving anything until you're sure. That's your children's security you're thinking about screwing around with. Do you honestly think a physical and pschological abuser would hesitate to exaggerate or lie to you? How do you know there is a real job? Because he said so?

    I might hesitate to report him for a little while, but beyond that....uhuh.

    You almost sound like you're still operating in victim mode. Victims tend to make a lot of excuses for their abusers.

    Honey, wake up! Talk to someone who would know about this and see what they suggest. A temporary suspension might be possible, but anything beyond that is idiocy.

  • 1 decade ago

    I would not remove him from his responsibility of paying child support..a parents is accountable in supporting their children..you need money for the children's needs..often when a person is unemployed, they are on unemployment benefits, he can ask for a lower payment in court if his income has decreased..that's his responsbility to do.

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