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red
Lv 4
red asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Complicated family issue... what would YOU do here?

My husband and I - once upon a time - were engaged. My parents in the states (I have more in Canada) tried to sabotage our marriage, so we eloped. After being married for a month, we discovered we were expecting (honeymoon baby) and my parents in the states tried to take me to an abortion clinic. (I WAS MARRIED...)

Four years later, they haven't fully apologized for trying to take me to an abortion clinic, my husband holds strong grudges, I'm a very forgiving person - especially when it comes to family - and it took me a long time to try and put things behind me, especially what they did to us, and now my sister (who still lives at home) told me they are talking about coming to visit my family here this summer. We are almost totally across the US from them, and they have shown no interest in my son. (The baby they tried to abort)

They never call him, they never send presents, (maybe once or twice, for each of those categories) and he's 3 1/2. They refuse to acknowledge my husband, even with Christmas presents - they send presents for everyone but him.

Now we have a new baby girl (6 mos) and suddenly they want to send her presents and be involved in her life and NOW they want to come visit.

I'm still kindof bitter that they didn't (don't?) want anything to do with my son, but now my daughter is the spotlight of attention.

Would you allow them to visit you?

How do you think you would feel about this if you were my husband?

2 Answers

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  • Max
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, if your husband holds strong grudges, your parents are in trouble for the things that they have done and haven't done. You don't say why your parents were so strongly against your marriage and having a baby (it is your business, but it is probably part of the issue). Do you think they can be good grandparents after what happened? Perhaps your children should have their grandparents in their lives, if you think it is not a bad thing. Perhaps things have changed, or time has made them realise they were wrong. Maybe they did what they did out of love for you, as bad or as misguided as it might be. Maybe your husband betrayed their trust, or they didn't think he was doing the right thing by you. Maybe you can give the visit a go. Get them to stay at a motel right near you rather than with you, and see how things go. You will always wonder if you don't give it a go I think. Good luck, hope things work out for you.

  • Thats sad! Honestly i would tell them not to come intill they start respecting your husband and son! Becuase if they are not respecting them they are not respecting you!

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