HP Fans and Umbridge Haters: How is this?

Question

Umbridge Haters and HP Fans: How is this?
27 Ways to Annoy Dolores Umbridge

1. Offer her flies. Tell her they're good with ketchup. 

2. Ask her if she's related to Trevor. 

3. Follow close behind her all day, making clip-clopping noises with your tongue. 

4. Ask her if she's met the handsome new divination teacher. 

5. Tell her that Cornelius Fudge only hired her to scare small children. 

6. Dye all her clothes black. 

7. ...when she acts horrified, say you were only trying to help her, and that "black is the new pink." 

8. Send her love notes, signing them as if they were from Cornelius Fudge. 

9. Perpetually use the word "umbrage." 

10. Remind her constantly that her "Selwyn Family Heirloom" contained the shreds of the most evil wizard of modern times. 

11. Create your own Educational Decrees to contradict her's. 

12. Make sure these said Decrees are identical to her own. Post them everywhere. 

13. Turn all of her kittens into toads. 

14. Talk in stage whispers about "army meetings," "Dumbledore," and "Harry Potter." Should she confront you, stop talking, smile, and whistle innocently. 

15. Tell her you're doing a Herbology project and want to know more about the plants in her natural habitat. 

16. Buy her Weasleys' Wild-Fire Whiz-Bangs for Christmas. 

17. Ask her if she's read the latest edition of the Quibbler. When she says no, offer her one. 

18. When she's within earshot, announce loudly that Snape was a better headmaster than she was. 

19. Or if you're feeling particularly daring, announce that Sir Cadogan would make a better headmaster. 

20.Offer her a free membership with S.P.E.W. 

21. Tell her that you didn't do your homework because "progress for progress sake must be prohibited." 

22. Ask her if she wears that mask all the time, or just when she's teaching. 

23. Ponder loudly whether the title "Hogwarts High Inquisitor" sounds quite as powerful as, say, "Muggle Prime Minister." 

24. Present her with a voodoo doll with an uncanny resemblance to her, but just before giving it to her, stash it away, muttering, "Oops, that one's Harry's..." 

25. Buy her a pet Niffler. 

26. Ask her why she didn't transform into a beautiful princess when she recieved her first kiss. 

27. ...cut yourself off before you finish the question, look like you just realized something, then pat her arm consolingly and say, "Don't worry. Not everyone is cut out for love."

40 ways of irritating people who don't like Harry Potter

1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books and/or movies. 

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender. 

3. Quote Dobby. 
sorry 4th one missing....

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from you (Example: When in a car or an elevator). If you don't have a book with you, recite from memory. 

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Christmas and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever. 

7. Rewrite their favorite song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly. 

8. Crowd their inbox with Harry Potter related e-mail and make sure the subjects are misleading. 

9. Start singing a Sorting Hat song at random moments, pretend to forget what comes next, and ask if they know in a very loud voice. 

10. Make them play Quidditch with you. 

11. Give all of their friends Harry Potter related nicknames and act mortally offended when they don't know the history of their character. 

12. Change your name to that of a Harry Potter character and start screaming when they don't address you as such in public. 

13. Always speak with a British accent - especially if you aren't from the UK. 

14. Refer to real places by Harry Potter names. 

15. ...throw a fit if others don't use these names. 

16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come across...in permanent marker. 

17. Give long lectures about how the prophecy relates to every day life. 

18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter codename. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks you where something is, use these names. 

19. Change them immediately if they figure out what the names refer to. 

20. Constantly ask if they can see the thestrals too. 

21. ...refuse to explain what a thestral is. 

22. Say, "Anything off the trolley, dear?" in a fake British accent when offering anyone food. 

23. Pretend you can do magic. 

24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves. 

25. Yell "Get away from me, Death Eater!" whenever they get near you. 

26. Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg. 

27. ...laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is. 

28. Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

2 is funny on the Umbridge one
and 20 is funny on the annoy non-fans one
lol they made me lol genius

Ways to annoy non-fans of Harry Potter:
(I am not funny btw.. i did my best)
1. whenever u want something say Accio ___ !!!
and then go pick it up...
2. call everyone else muggles
like if someone is texting roll ur eyes
and say wow muggles and there technology
3. at night carry a flashlight and say 
lumos and nox when u turn it on/off
4. if ur at someones house and they go
wanna drink? say yeah butterbeer plz
5.at someones house if they leave a broom
out be like ohh.. is this a cleansweep 6 or nimbus 2000
6. pretend ur in pain hold ur forehead
and ppl go wtf.. be like my scar
7. ur friend wants to hang out say sorry cant 
i have 10" of parchment in transfiguration homework
8. if ur bad say the dark lord will rise again
9. when saying goodbye to someone say
ok see u later ill send u an owl post in a few days
10. be always busy pretending ur going to
Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, Knockturn Alley
good questions

- · Answer

Ha ha.
Those were bloody BRILLIANT!

That really made my day.

26. Ask her why she didn't transform into a beautiful princess when she recieved her first kiss. 

27. ...cut yourself off before you finish the question, look like you just realized something, then pat her arm consolingly and say, "Don't worry. Not everyone is cut out for love."

24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves

18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter codename. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks you where something is, use these names. 

16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come across...in permanent marker. 

^ My FAVORITES.

Awesome. *Star* :D

Anonymous · Answer

24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves.

18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter codename. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks you where something is, use these names.

19. Change them immediately if they figure out what the names refer to.

28. Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come across...in permanent marker. 

Oh my gosh, so funny. 
im one of the those harry potter fans, thats annoys all my friends with facts and quotes from the books.

Anonymous · Answer

I love them! ANNOYING UMBRIDGE: Talk in a not understandable accent Give her a gift of Weasley Wizz’s disguised as chocolate Give her ten year old teeth breaking candy When she tries to confiscate their stuff lick it and then hand it to her Overflow the castle with beach balls ANNOYING ANTI-HARRY POTTER FANS Ask them loudly, all the time kind of broomstick they have and what quidditch team they go for Make an I LOVE HARRY POTTER fan club and nag them until they join. Give them an ILHP badge and whenever you see them not wearing it scream at them Do the same thing, except start a SPEW club Recruit them to JKR's army- J-K Rowling's army. That's all I can think of...

Raquel · Answer

This question is now saved on my desktop! Feel special because the only two websites saved on my desktop are the ones containing the harry Potter Trailer and discussion about the book, now yours.

D⁴[Hell yes, Pottermore!] · Answer

Oh my gosh! You're wonderful!!!! xD!!!

Ways to offend a Death Eater/ Voldemort:

1. Offer Voldy Hair implant pamphlets every time you see him :D

2. Thank the Death Eaters for putting on their masks--You don't want to see THAT all day!

3. Buy Lord Voldemort Bunny Slippers for Christmas and right when he puts them on, make him go to Wal-Mart for some Tampons :P


That's all I got...Lameo....Your's are really good, though!

Pistachio · Answer

16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come across...in permanent marker. 


Haha, I already do this.

? · Answer

Tell her that you didn't do your homework because "progress for progress sake must be prohibited."

14. Talk in stage whispers about "army meetings," "Dumbledore," and "Harry Potter." Should she confront you, stop talking, smile, and whistle innocently.

Those two were amazing. Haha.
I love this!
I'm going to do the GET AWAY FROM ME DEATH EATER to my parents whenever they get near me! 

Thanks for answering my question by the way.
:]

ALEX · Answer

hahahaha I laugh :)
Did you make that up? It's pretty funny!

You've probably already noticed but there's this guy who's just copying and pasting all your answers. I had someone doing it to me last week before I sent them a bat!sh!t insane email. I'm wondering whether it's just the same person... different account
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/my/qa/index;_ylt=AmbTpNfWuJwfxj.Gqr7jNrrg5gt.;_ylv=3?link=answer&more=y&show=pvWzsN06aa

hotsizz20 · Answer

Favorite on part one

3. Follow close behind her all day, making clip-clopping noises with your tongue. 

Favorite on part two

23. Pretend you can do magic. 


One for part one:

- Perform an unbreakable vowl that she must never tell lies, or she dies 

One for part two:

- Swat at the air around them and telling them to watch out for nargles

Bahaha =]

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HP Fans and Umbridge Haters: How is this?

20 Answers