conflicting identities mommy/wife/college student...how to deal?

I can answer this because I have lived it! Just do it, and don't worry if macaroni and cheese is the most wonderful meal you serve. If your kids are small have them sit and color with you while you study. Talk about why you are doing this and how important it is to get a good education. Let them know you need them to help you if they are older and sit and study while they do their work. Talk about how much better your life will be when your get this wonderful education. You will have a better career, make more money and feel better about yourself.

I used this strategy while my kids were young and I was in college, I am now a Social Worker, and my son who sat with me and even attended some of the classes with me is now a software engineer !