To Circumsize or not?

I got my manhood shaped at age 9 too.It hurt the first 3 weeks but it looks very clean and the skin dosn't sag.Talk to him about it.5 thumbs down thank you losers it means alot.

The only thing I can say is, most men who are uncircumcised never have any problems (the majority of men in the world are uncircumcised). It seems to be only Americans that suffer all kinds of ill effects from having a natural penis for some strange reason, so I personally can't identify with this concept at all.

But with regard to your son, the only thing I can say is circumcision will be an extremely difficult thing for a 9 year old to go through (especially if it's being forced on him). Doctors say there is no medical reason for circumcision so to force it on a child without their consent for no medical reason seems very unethical to me. Circumcision should be a personal choice (not the choice of someone else, that includes parents). It's HIS penis after all.

If you perceive cleanliness to be an issue, then you are using circumcision as "preventative maintenance" which is rather silly. Where does it end? Do you keep his head shaved all the time so you never have to wash his hair? No. You deal with things if and when they become an issue. His real problem sounds more like a mental one than a physical one, and if that's the case you should seek counseling for him. Sounds like he might have ADD/ADHD or maybe some kind of neurological disorder. Perhaps all it will take is reminding him constantly to wash himself properly when he's in the shower. Monitor him a few times and make sure he does what he's supposed to. Putting him under surgery because he has poor hygiene is not a good answer and ultimately doesn't solve the real problem.

I'd suggest you take a look at some of my links to dispell any preconceptions you might have had about circumcision.

This is a tricky situation, and I can understand you wanting the best for your son.

I'm 21 and uncircumcised and I've never had any cleanliness issues, but then I am able to wash it everyday. Although that said, it takes VERY poor hygiene to allow a build-up of harmful material under the foreskin. Even when I've gone say 3 days without a wash on camping trips etc, it hasn't got infected.

The thing is, a circumcision for a boy at this age can be quite traumatic. Adults are able to take painkillers and handle pain much easier, so I think it may be best to wait until he's older. By then, he may have gone his whole life without a problem and the circumcision won't be necessary at all.

I'd recommend you re-post your question on the Mothering.com forum (below). You will probably get more appropriate answers there.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay....

I don't see how circumcision would help your son. I am not circumcised and it isn't essential to care for it or clean under it. Your son will come to no harm by not taking care of it. The same way a woman doesn't have to take care of her vagina. There are a lot of myths around circumcision - you have fallen for the biggest one - that being intact aka natural is somehow a danger to health. This is not true. 75% of the world are left natural and do perfectly. In fact, the foreskin acts as protection against disease. Smegma actually contains anti-bacterial enzymes. Circumcising your son at this stage in his life would put him in immense emotional and physical pain and discomfort.

Here is more info on circumcision:

A video called "The circumcision decision":

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-5395565...

Non-religious circumcision only started in English-speaking countries in the late 1800's. The main reason was to prevent masturbation. If you want to learn more then look at this site:

http://www.historyofcircumcision.net/

Circumcision rates have dropped in the USA to 60%.

http://www.circumstitions.com/USA.html

In Canada and Australia the rate has dropped to less than 10%. In Britain the rate is less than 1%. Only 20-25% of the world are circumcised, 2/3 of these are Muslim.

The foreskin is a vital part of the penis. Those that are circumcised do not know what they are missing.

The foreskin contains many specialized nerves on it's underside. When the foreskin is moved up and down it is very pleasurable. Circumcised men have lost this ability to masturbate easily as there is no gliding effect. Circumcised men often have to resort to artificial lubrication in masturbation and sex. See here for the function of the foreskin:

http://geocities.com/painfulquestioning/naturalres...

Without the foreskin protecting the glans, circumcised men lose further sensitivity. The glans (head of the penis) dries out. It also brushes on underwear causing the skin to toughen. See here for the full damage done:

http://www.noharmm.org/IDcirc.htm

There are good reasons to believe that sex is better for the woman as well, if the man has his foreskin intact:

http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com/10F/doctor_no...

Circumcision carries a lot of risks:

http://www.catholicsagainstcircumcision.org/cac_co...

There is also evidence that the pain and discomfort of circumcision disrupts the mother-son bond and also breast feeding. Some evidence suggests the trauma of circumcision has long-term psychological effects.

http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/goldman1/

In terms of care - intact is also a lot easier.

The foreskin is attached to the glans at birth (they have to break this seal to perform the circumcision - this is excruciatingly painful - not that the pain is the worst part of circumcision )

You should never pull back the foreskin or try to clean under it. It requires no care.

The foreskin should be left to become retractable on it's own , it should not be forced. The foreskin becomes retractable by itself. this occurs any time up until the end of puberty, though the average age is 5-10 years. Until then, nothing to do. A lot of doctors/nurses are not familiar with this - don't let them retract it.

Once it becomes retractable, there is little care - just wash it like any other body part. It is not dirty - if it was then women would be a lot dirtier. Most men worldwide (75-80%) are intact and have no problems.

http://www.cirp.org/pages/parents/care/

As for health benefits they are minimal to non-existent - and certainly don't outweigh the downsides. Men in Britain, France Germany and Italy for instance don't get circumcised and they all do fine. Leave the decision up to your little boy - his body- his rights. See here for info about health:

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/eletters...

This is a difficult problem and I can understand your point of view. I agree that you should get him circumcis, however. Another thing. Do you think his brain will he able to develop enough later on that he will be able to have sex and possibly clean himself? If there is a chance, I would suggest you not ask the doctor to perform the procedure on your son. As you've been able to witness here, men can hold a huge resentmeant towards parents for having them circumcised. If you are worried about him getting an infection there however, you can calm down. A man that is not sexually active is not very likely to get an infection for not cleaning his forhead. Many of the people who replied to your question do not understand that your son may not be fully capable of caring for himself that way, and nor should you have I for him. Everything said, I wish you the best of luck.

I was unnecessarily circumcised as a child and I had huge anger issues my whole life on the way it was done. Mine was particularly brutal, even though it was done my a medical 'professional'. This is not a cure for the problem. He will not develop problems from being left intact and natural. The whole idea about cutting off the foreskin to make it cleaner is akin to thinking if the ears are also cut off, he will never need glasses. The circumcision being better, healthier, cleaner thing is a myth. Together, the foreskin/glans combination produce a strong anti microbial compound in smegma. This is used for fighting off disease. No foreskin,....no disease fighting ability.

Removing the foreskin leaves the glans open to bacteria from rubbing raw on the clothing. It will be cleaner for your son, despite the issues if you leave him intact. Nature has developed a way to clean under the foreskin and has been doing it very well for millenniums. Leave it till he is older to make the decision for himself. He will thank you for that.

Mithras.

No I think he would get really angry to go through the pain. Honestly I don't think it'll make much different to cleanliness. Sounds like he has issues that need to be dealt with...I hope you can work it out. If he's circumcised it can still get stinky and infected if not washed. Not to mention while it's healing, that's prime infection time even for people with good hygiene, so I don't think you should take that risk.

Aside from soiling his pants, most of what you describe is very normal for a boy his age. I know adults who still need to be reminded to change their undies, and who wipe their nose on their shirts. Neither of those lead to a penis infection. I actually wouldn't expect a boy of 9 to seriously understand how things like hygenie affect him. I sure wasn't thinking about it at that age.

You have a bigger problem with him soiling his pants- your child clearly has some sort of issue. Children rarely soil their pants because they are too lazy to ask to go to the restroom. He may have a mental health issue, and if that's the case, it should be properly treated. it certainly isn't an indication for penile surgery. There is also the possibility he is being abused. this issue needs to be addressed with a qualified therapist who can figure out whats really going on.

The male foreskin is not a menacing body part that is constantly in danger of infection. For the most part, the best course of action is actually to leave it alone entirely. In fact, at his age, he shouldn't be doing any special cleaning or anything anyway. He may mature as he grows older, and depriving him of his foreskin now would be premature.

What if you spin it another way. Say you had a daughter with the same issues as your son- she soils her pants, she isn't capable of staying clean etc. Would you consider getting her a genital surgery to help her stay cleaner and infection free? Female infections from poor hygiene are far more common than male infection.

My understanding is that the reaction in older children varies according to the child. It will be painful. Many boys find that they have a hard time getting used to the constant exposure of their glans afterward- having it rub on their underwear etc is uncomfortable. It may be traumatic, particularly if his mental state does not allow him to understand why it needs to be done, or if he disagrees with you and wishes to keep that body part. Being forced to undergo a circumcision- to have an intimate part of his body cut away without his consent, would be very damaging and harm your relationship. If he is in agreement, it will be less emotionally traumatic, but the physical pain and discomfort would be the same. The other issue, of course, is that a 9 year old may not feel he can object to a surgery his parents wish him to have- he may tell you he agrees, but secretly disagree. It may be best to wait until he is older and discuss it openly with him. as an older teen or young adult he would understand that he can refuse if he wishes, as a child he may not, and that may cause resentment in your relationship. The other issue is that you seem to think he has mental issues- I'm not sure what types of issues these are, but in younger children, circumcision can cause regressive behaviors- refusal to use the toliet, nightmares, clinginess, anxiety, fears about their genitals etc. -Neb

ETA- you state that you know many circumcised men who have had no psychological problems or fears as a result- but how many of them were cut at 9 years old? There is a difference psychologically between being cut as an infant, and having no knowledge of what it is like to have a foreskin, and having genital surgery at 9 years old. Older children are known to have trouble adjusting and to have issues because of the procedure. they may be temporary, but they are far from uncommon in boys undergoing the procedure in this age group, particularly when there is no clear medical problem necessitating the procedure.

I understand your dilemma, but please don't circumcise the poor boy. I am 15 going on 16 and i was circumcised when i was only a baby and now i suffer the consequences. The head of my penis is always dry thus it desynthesizes it. But with a foreskin it has a sheath of skin to protect it.And it takes a lot for my to get an orgasm. Also my penis has an ungly scar from being cut.

http://www.foreskin.org/fleiss.htm

http://www.circumstitions.com/Works.html

http://www.noharmm.org/advantage.htm

I am 15 years old and I was circumcised when I was 13. It was a painful experience for me that I had to stay in house for 3 weeks. If I will become a father soon, I will not circumcise my sons. There are also myths that if you get circed, your penis will become bigger, your height will increase or it makes you feel more macho. But It ain't true for me.

The only big deal about getting circumsized is the lack of sensitivity that it causes. I think it could traumatize him a bit....To put it into perspective it would be like if the hood of your clitoris was cut off and it was rubbing against your clothes all the time, eventually it would become desensitized and feel a lot less after a few weeks of extreme discomfort.