What would you do if your spouse "let themselves go" and gained 40 pounds?

I'd talk to them about getting fit again...work with them to eat better and exercise and to do active things together. With age and "comfort" in life/relationships often comes some unwanted pounds...all of the sudden it's like we wake up one day and we're 30, 40, 50 pounds heavier.

I've been obese...it isn't attractive. Physical appeal has some bearing on the desire for intimacy...and intimacy is very important to me in a relationship. I would hope fitness and intimacy would be important to my partner as well. I would do what I could to encourage getting back in shape for better health and to improve the desire for intimacy (and the ability to have it in a variety of ways). ☺♥☻

This is not a deal breaker, because it truly matters whats in their heart and it's intentions and not outside. That said, work with him or her and assist their physical progressions.

It would definitely be hard but slight diet changes like an all water fluid intake and at least heavy walking if not running on a treadmill consistently for a daily physical regimen can drop a lot of weight quickly.

Don't underestimate pure spring waters potential as if utilized for a mere 2-3 mo. ONLY, one can combine that with exercise and lighter lunches and you've a torch cutting through steel effect.

To sum it up, again even if he or she never lost the weight, it's where their hearts overall intent it is on a daily basis that matters the most and will always supersede their outside body frame!

I hope you married your spouse for the person they are inside. It's true that physical attractiveness is very important. When you look into their eyes, do you still see your soul mate? When you kiss, do you still get fireworks? Do you love the time that you spend together laughing or having deep conversation? I would encourage you to tell your spouse how much you love them and appreciate them. Be honest, ask your spouse this question, " honey, tell me one thing that I could work on to make myself a better spouse for you." Then, it's their turn to ask you. Weight might be a touchy subject, but you could approach it as a couple, maybe making better food choices together and going for bike rides or walks in the evenings together. Make it a game to see who can be the "biggest looser". You could always plan a trip to the beach, maybe that would motivate them! Good luck!

Only if you were a faithless shallow excuse for a person. ONly such a person would consider ditching a spouse because they are no longer "attractive". You vowed for better or for worse. Help them to eat better and get more exercise, walk with them. Most importantly you need to figure out if you have any real love for this person or any one but yourself. Physical attractiveness is the most fleeting and impermanent part of a human being. If you married you should have had more than looks to base it on. The vows say till death do you part, get it, Death not a few pounds.

Then you never love your spouse. This body that we have is only a tabernacle it will not stay the same way forever. If you think your spouse has gain weight than suggest y'all exercise together and if not except what you can not change because now there is a little more to love.

I've been with my husband 9 years and we have both put on weight. We are still very attracted to each other and have great sex life. We are very faithful to each other. If the only thing keeping you in a marriage is physical then the marriage was doomed from the beginning. Whether it's weight or wrinkles eventually the physical appearance begins to fade and you need to have a deeper thing between yourselves.

People dont wake up one morning 40 lbs overweight. So this is partly your fault too. You should be taking romantic night walks every day and doing lots of gross motor activities. THen this wouldnt happen. Obesity usually results from depression or inactivity. Two things a spouse should be in tune with long before it gets out o fhand.

Nope - not at all. He has gained weight, and lost enough of it that he is just right - but it didn't bother me either way, too skinny, too fat.

I have been over weight a few times in my life. Shortly after we met I put on a pretty good chunk of weight (50+ lbs),when a lot of things in my life fell apart - and have since lost it, and then some - I look even better now than when we met. Good thing he didn't leave when I got 'fat'! ;)

If physical attractiveness was extremely important to me to the point where I may consider it a deal breaker, I'd be ashamed of myself!

I would encourage my spouse to exercise when I so him putting on the weight. We could exercise together. If he's still the same person inside, the outside wouldn't matter that much. He can always lose the weight. Good Luck!