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Is it still REQUIRED that the male fully support the female in a household?
I had my hours cut at work and my father in law insists that I am not a responsible person because my wife is now making more money than I am because she still has her full time job. He says it's always been that way, where the man is supposed to support the woman. Now I know it used to be like that hundreds, even decades ago but I see more and more households where both parents are working and i see less stay at home moms nowadays. He also told me that the person who makes the most money gets to make all the decisions. He even says that in fron of his wife!
Now is that still going on today? Is the male still required to fully support the working female, whether or not she works or has a baby, and does anybody else believe that the person who makes the most money or has a full time job gets to make all the decisions? Or is he just stuck in a time warp and still thinks we aren't in the 21st century and he still thinks man controls the world?
Please let me know because my wife and I are having a lot of trouble since he's trying to interfere in our lives. I'll post his address if anybody wants to send him some hate mail!
13 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Wow... don't post his address. Seriously. Parents are stubborn that way. My mom objects to me merely sleeping in the same bed as my boyfriend.. just SLEEPING! Not even doing anything. It's rather mind-boggling. Anyway, it's not still required. There are a lot of women out there who are like... board members, CEO, etc. Heck, Hilary Clinton is now the secretary of state and possibly makes more than her husband right now. What are those women supposed to do if they had to date men who made more than them? Find another CEO? That's hard. In this day in age, women can make more than men because it's just possible for that to happen.
You're responsible as long as you're a hard worker and strive to take care of your family in whatever way you can, whether it's emotionally, financially, etc. There's more to being a husband than making money.
- 1 decade ago
All that is is a former cultural norm. True, if you are able to work, then you should, but if your wife is already making more than enough for what your family needs, and your work could not contribute significantly enough, I think it's time for you to play Mr. Mom and just stop working.
It's never been a "requirement" for the male to fully support the family - he has never been able to fully support the family. Even though the workload is not and never will be 50-50 between the husband and wife (and if you try, it will be miserable and crappy), it has always been that where one leaves off, the other fills in the blanks. You can't both be breadwinners, and you can't both be home-makers, just like you can't both be Mom and both be Dad. The traditional role has been that the husband makes the money and the wife stays home (that's still basically the norm and the best-fit for most), but it's not exactly a one-size/pattern fits all deal. If the wife is distinctly more capable at making money than the husband, she should be making money and he should be taking care of the kids.
Households with 2 working parents are significantly more likely to raise troublesome children, which children are more likely to become non-contributing sponges, leeching off the success of others. One parent should be available to be an actual (not just biological) parent to the kids.
As far as decisions go, the entire family gets to decide (not even just between you and your wife), regardless of how much money you or your wife makes. Does the United States give votes proportional to how much money you have? Ask your dad that.
I think your dad is a male chauvinistic egomaniac, stuck in a time warp that loops all the way back to the 16th century.
- 1 decade ago
You need to keep third persons out of your relationship. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with her working full time and you working a couple of hours a day... I wouldnt mind if my husband didnt work full time and i did as long as he also helped around the house and with the kids. I dont think the male has to support the wife and i think the decisions are made together no matter how much money you make. You should sit down and discuss this with your wife... Remember COMMUNICATION is very important.... ask her how she feels and tell her how you feel.... Dont listen to the in laws!
- Mfh H *A*Lv 71 decade ago
I think it is up to both to fully support the household. No the person making the most money should not be making all the decisions etc. Obviously if one has to work less hours because of kids or work circumstances etc then they are still supporting the household.
I would just ignore him. Talk to your wife, your marriage is not going to last long as long as her father interferes.
She needs to tell him not to interfere and while she loves him it gives him no rights to judge and make trouble.
Also what about you doing a course or another job for yourself?
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- 1 decade ago
It doesn't matter who makes more money. He should be thankful you have a job. Right now I am the soul support of my family. My husband got laid off. Plus they cut hours where I work so I'm not earning as much money. Remember this: You married your wife not her family.
- livin lifeLv 71 decade ago
A marrige is about 2 becoming one. the decisions should be joint, not by one person, and its between u and your wife. Not him. The bible tells us to let go of our parents when we marry so he shouldnt have a say at all. If u need money get a 2nd job.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Your father in law is completely wrong, both of my parents have always worked. My dad's hours got cut too. I believe that if you are able to work, you should work. My brother is a single dad, he is only nineteen and he has a one year old. I help him a lot with her, and it is still hard on him. I think even mothers of children should work if times are rough and the family isn't bringing in enough to cover the bills. I work and I am fifteen. I have a question up, if you could please answer it with any kind of advice. Thank you :]
- Answer-SmanswerLv 41 decade ago
As long as you and your wife are ok with the situation then thing are ok. You don't have to be rude to him and I personally thing your wife should tell him he needs to stop and back off. If he doesn't then just listen to what he has to say and then when he is gone .. you and your wife can make fun of him .. jk .. you and your wife can just ignore him. I would say talk to your wife first and make sure she is ok with the situation if she is then your have nothing to worry about :)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
He needs to back off and let you live your own lives.As long as you are pulling your weight at home and your wife is happy you will get full time work again someday,hopefully.
- 1 decade ago
No its a partnership, Sex shouldn't matter. Her dad is old school. I would love it if I had a wife who made more money than me.