Help with my niece please!!!!!Long?

Question

ok here goes. My family is very complicated and very messed up. My mom abandoned me so I was raised by my sister-in-law, who had two kids my niece and my nephew  . Anyways I sorta was raised more like her daughter than SIL. My aunt (SIL sister) has a daughter (L)who is not my blood but I love like a little sister . She's only 16 and she is going down the wrong path. Her myspace page is filled with pics of her getting drunk , showing too much skin, and on her status it always says stuff like she is sooo high , or how the sex was great when can we do it again, thanks for the beer. All kinds of stuff she shouldn't be doing. My SIL's daughter (K)was pregnant at 17 and dropped out of high school her sophmore year, her sisters daughter(J) had 2 kids by 18 no hs education, her other sisters daughter(T) is always drunk and was pregnant by 17 didn't finish high school. I don't want (L) to end up like them. I have hinted to my SIL that she should monitor her myspace page to see whats up with her. I know she is not my kid but what can I do to help? She lives in Mexico and I live 6 hours away in tx. I have offered to adopt her so she could get papers but her mom dragged her feet and now (L) has too much freedom and doesn't want to live with me cause she knows she wouldn't be allowed to do that stuff. I don't want to offend anyone or hurt anyone but I don't want to stand by while (L) goes crazy and keeps screwing up her life. She is smoking weed, having sex, getting drunk, and her grades are so low now. She is so intelligent and has sooo much potential if someone would just be a parent to her. please help.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

alright, first of all give that girl a wake up call.  show her what happens to those who act like that. she needs a blunt truth of anything and everything that could happen if she keeps doing this. don't yell or demand anything of her because it will make her want to do it more. all teens are like that, you tell them not to do something they will most likely do it. either show her the consequences or let her learn from her mistakes on her own. not everyone learns the same way. i personally learn the hard way most of the time, but the point is that i learned from it and grew up from my mistakes. just talk to her like you normally do and bring up some things she does that's considered "bad" and give her examples of what could happen or what has happened to other people. tell her you are worried about her and want better for her, because i can see you do.  if you don't want the frontal approach, then talk to her mother about it first.

Amanda S · Answer

ask her one simple question:  Does she want to end up like her sister?  Then move on from there.  Tell her how awesome it would be to see her walking across stage at graduation and then go to college!  Encourage her!  Find out what her passion is(photography ect) and try to get her a job doing that in your area.  Tell her you have a friend who has a position open and they have offered it to her.  She's 16 and old enough to get a job.  If she's busy with her passion she will find less and less time to "party".

domann · Answer

Yes. Yes. Yes. Lord, I come into contract with Gabriel Prayer Warrior's prayer. In the powerful title of Jesus, would possibly the Lord heal this niece.. AMEN! † Comforting Prayer Warrior † "Comforting" is the Holy Spirit

Lisa · Answer

You can't make either of them see sense unfortunately.  Your niece is too young and silly and her Mother is irresponsible and stupid to say the least for not caring where her children end up.  Honestly, all you can do is pray and when you have children, remember that lesson you are seeing now.  Best of luck.

Cheers

Lisa

Banana · Answer

I knew a girl like that and she grew out of it very fast. but that doesn't always happen. you should tell her whats up and how u don't like it.

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Help with my niece please!!!!!Long?

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