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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingGrade-Schooler · 1 decade ago

Is it acceptable for the school to send home an autistic child if he smells like poop, doesn't wipe well, etc?

My son who is almost seven years old is in kindergarten. He has PDD-NOS (autism spectrum disorder), Sensory Processing Disorder, as well as some other diagnoses. He is on some medications which make him constipated. His pediatrician recently added Mirilax to help him move his bowels easier. When he has BMs he will do them in his pants without knowing he went. Sometimes he has little streaks in his underwear (oozing from being constipated). Other times he will successfully make it to the toilet, but refuses to wipe so he gets streaks of poo on his underwear.

He has a 1:1 aid, and is in a SPED class at his school. Yesterday the nurse confronted me about the teacher's complaining he was smelling like feces. I told her that it might be a side effect of his medication. She said "yes but it also might just be immaturity". This morning when I dropped him off I was getting him out of the van and I could smell him. He was fine when we left the house. We went inside and I asked the nurse if we could use her bathroom. She let us so I cleaned him up and helped him put some clean clothes on. Then on our way out I stopped and talked to her about how the pediatrician put him on Mirilax yesterday when we seen him and told her that this might cause him to have loose stools for a few days while we are finding the right dose.

She told me that everytime my son smells like poop, has streeks in his underwear, oozes, or poops himself that I will be called to either come to school and clean him up, or take him home, give him a bath, and be expected to bring him back again. She said that she can not help him because of his age. She said children his age have better memories than preschoolers do. She then went on to tell me that some nurses might like at hospitals but she is not going to. He has always had extra clothes... three complete outfits, along with flushable wipes at school since the first day. I don't understand why they can not help him clean himself at school? I think it is unacceptable for them to call me everytime he smells. I could see if it was down his legs and a big mess, but they are all contained in his underwear. It has not been easy teaching my son his self help skills. He will quickly learn that if he poops himself, does not wipe, etc. that Mommy will have to come get him. That might cause some regression in the skills that have been hard for him to learn. Do you think that it is acceptable for the school to expect me to come get him everytime he smells?

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  • 1 decade ago
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    I would call the local board of education from the school you enrolled him in, if they won't make a nurse help clean him or help him to the bathroom and such then you need to try to find another school. You may actually have to find a school that accepts only autistic children at least until he learns to clean himself. As sad as that is. My nephew isn't autistic and he had problems with learning how to use the bathroom and wipe (he was six), all they told my sister to do was make sure he had at least two changes of clothes in his backpack and the school nurse would help clean him up. Two of my cousins are autistic and the school nurses at their schools also helped them to clean up and stuff like that. She even helped the girl when it was "that time."

    To me, it's not acceptable and I would definitely be calling the main board and complaining. If they don't seem to do anything, a new school would be looking pretty definite.

  • 1 decade ago

    I believe it will cause some problems, especially when you take him back to school, he will want to stay home with mommy. She probably doesn't want to clean your son because of all the problems that people are having with sexual abuse and all that. Its really stupid but Ive found that alot of people wont do alot of things anymore because of it. Then again she could just be a snob and not want to mess with it.

    I have a problem with my son passing bowels because they are so big and it hurts so he take Miralax everyday to soften them up but sometimes he doesnt want to go and it pushes out onto his underwear. But I live in a really small town where everybody know everybody and dont really have that much of a problem. If its a big mess or theres not any spare clothes at the school Ill need to bring him some but other times he comes home wearing the extra clothes.

    The only thing I can advise is work with more on cleaning himself and instead of cleaning him off yourself, help him do it himself. Maybe take his hand and do it so that gets the feel of how it needs to be done. Maybe lower the dosage so that its not so running.

    My son is a big 5 yr old, hes almost the same size as my 8 yr old and I put a half of a lid in his milk after school. That amount softens his up enough, but not give him diarrhea, for him to use the bathroom without it hurting.

  • 1 decade ago

    I understand you feelings. My son is not autistic but he was oozing poop for a couple years in 1st and second grades. he never wipes well so even in third grade he smelled and I was called up by the school. Of course my son is able to do this stuff by himself but we are not sure why he doesn't. We brought him to docs and they said he has a lazy bowel and it leaks. (gross I know) anyway, I get why you are upset and it is inconveinent to go down there everytime you ae called. But.. I also understand (I worked in home health with autistics and even brougth them to school and worked with them there) that when a child smells bad it is disruptive to the children in the class as well as the teacher and it needs to be dealt with right away other wise no one can get anything done. Some laws and ethics require teachers to not touch a student even in special ed classes. It is inappropriate and if this teacher is uncomfortabel with this then you need to respect taht. I would not be coomfortable with wiping another childs bum unlesas I was working as a healthcare worker not just a teacher. There are boudries that should not be crossed if a person is uncomfortable.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Unless your child is behaving in a way that is threatening the other children, they can't send him home. My niece is an aide to special needs children--they have a child who has to have a hospital bed in the room and is still allowed at school!

    What if your child had had a colostomy bag--would they send him home? Children have all kinds of special physical problems, and the law says they get to go to school. It sounds like the nurse just doesn't want to do her job and if she isn't required to do it, why can't the aide do it?

    Schools are notorious for trying to make parents do what the schools do not want to do with special needs children, even though they know they are legally obligated to provide physical care for special needs children. It is much easier for them to say he has to go home.

    Who is providing the aide? Whoever is in your child's IEP team (principal, counselor, etc.) should be brought in to sort this out.

    Source(s): Been down this road with two children and ended up homeschooling one of them rather than fight the endless battle.
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  • This is a difficult issue as the school and staff and its students and you and your son all have issues.

    Any chance of home schooling for a while till he is off the med's Mirilax or train him to wipe himself.

    Its Truly unhealthy for your child to sit in his own poop and its not healthy for the others either.

    Regrettably, I am afraid that for now, the two options are teaching him to clean himself up or homeschooling.

  • 1 decade ago

    if it can become a health hazard to the other children then yes the school is taking the appropriate action. if this school isn't as helpful as you would like them to be you should look into other schools who have better trained (and more caring) professionals that are more equipped to handle children with special needs.

    i think it is unacceptable that they can't help a child (at any age) clean themselves ESPECIALLY if it is known fact that the child has a disability but again if it's a regular school then they aren't trained in what it takes to take care of a special needs child. even special education teachers (in regular schools) aren't equipped to handle children with SEVERE problems and dealing with multiple students who have these handicaps isn't easy for them to have to clean EVERY student in situations like these. you really need to think about changing to a school that is more compassionate and caring and better equipped to handle your son.

  • 1 decade ago

    do you have a social worker? when my son was diagnosed with cancer, there was a social worker (from the hospital) that helped me with some issues at school.

  • Yes, I do. You are asking a lot from a teacher. It's not a job I would want to have, and it wouldn't be something I would expect to have to do as his teacher.

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