How do you keep from staying calm when your spouse if yelling at you?

I have had to leave the house on occasion myself and my husband would get angry. Now, if we are fighting (rare these days) and I feel the urge to scream back, I tell him that I am about to lose control over my mouth and I need some time to cool off. Then I walk out.

No, you're doing the right thing. My current wife and I don't fight very often, but one thing that i did learn form my previous marriage is that all the screaming and yelling is really useless.

My current wife and I were arguing over something stupid once and she was screaming and yelling, I took a deep breath and said I'll talk to you when your more rational and calm and went for a walk. She got pissed because she thought I didn't care, and I explained to her that I've been divorced before and I do do care, but trying to talk about things now would be a waste of time.

Surprisingly she saw it my way and that was the end of that. Best of luck

No... When he screams at you begin counting from 1 to 10 slowly, take a deep breath and tell him exactly that "if he keeps screaming, you won't be listening any word of what he says...he can explain his problem without yelling and when he turns to be normal pay extra attention to what he says, and do not interrupt while he is talking, when his speech is done tell what you think and how you feel" Until the moment he stops screaming, do not ever answer or say anything to him, pretend that you don't even see him

1 you should never leave the house, you should go to another room and shut the door. If he follows then go to another room, the bathroom if necessary. Lock the door.

#2. When he stops screaming look him straight in the eye and tell him that you are an adult and his equal and will not be yelled at. If he starts up again then tell him that you are not going to be treated this way and if he continues that you will leave the house until he can get himself under control. Make sure you have some where to go and be gone for quite some time. When you get back ask him if he would like to discuss this in a rational way, and if not then tell him that you won't discuss it at all until he can.

#3 The more you demand respect and stand up for yourself, the more you will get. You also have to not yell and scream, but talk as an adult. People will listen when talked to in a mature tone.

I would look at him point blank and calmly say - Yelling at me will get you nowhere - contact me (call, text, whatever) when you are ready to talk about (it)...then leave. When things are calm - I would again make it known that yelling is not acceptable and you will not respond to it. I would NOT put up with being yelled at - EVER. I can see things get out of hand from time-to-time in everyone's life - and sometimes yelling can happen but it's not okay for it to happen all the time. They call that verbal abuse.

When you're BOTH calm, have a conversation in which you both discuss why it is that he yells, and how it makes you react. Try together to come up with a way to stop the cycle of anger and frustration that results in yelling. Make up rules like: When one of us starts yelling, the discussion STOPS. We both go to separate rooms for no less than 10 minutes, then we come back and resume the discussion calmly. Repeat as needed.

This is called communication. Mature adults use it as a means of living together. Try it.

Don't let your wife hide behind her diagnosis of ADD. I'm a teacher and I've known plenty of children with it (my son included). Temper tantrums are due to her immaturity and unwillingness to work on her control. Tell her she needs to get some counseling to learn how to stop acting like such a child. If she's unwilling just walk away or get a set of ear plugs. Most people would snap (at least occasionally) under the same circumstances.

Try having a talk with him about his temper and the way you feel when this happens. Don't do it when you're arguing though. You both should be able to have a conversation without yelling at each other. Communication is very important to a successful relationship.

Stand there and listen to the main point of his outburst...Then go take the scenic route around the block and when you get back, announce through your teeth with clear annunciation that if it makes him feel better to yell, fine, it makes you feel better after being yelled at to take a walk and calm down before doing something stupid like sinking down to HIS level...And then announce that he should find a different method of venting because yelling isn't gonna be happenin' anymore.

You do not have to put up with anything you don't want to. The fact he gets mad because you leave, is a sign that he has an abusive side to him that needs to be addressed. Screaming is a form of abuse in any court of law.

Make it loud and clear to him that you will leave each time he raises his voice at you, hold your grounds and if things do not change or get worse, then seek counseling for anger management.