My bf had sex with a guy?

I think if it's someone you love that much and want to marry, you need to sit down with him and have a serious conversation about the future. If you're going to invest this much time in the relationship you need to know going in that he isn't going to decide he wasn't experimenting and he really does like men..

I think there is a fine line between "experimenting" " bi-sexual" "gay"

and there is nothing wrong with those titles but you need to know, and it's not fare to you to find out 5 years from now, rather then knowing going into it!

Tough one. The only good thing is you slept with someone else while apart. Mine ran up the score and I didn't so that is always a difficult part between us.

The gay part is not as tough as you think. But you have to look it in the eye and accept it for what it is. I think it will take some honest talking. And you can't be freaking out about it or he will tell you what he thinks you want to hear.

OK he tried it once when he was younger and experimented. You two broke up and he was depressed, any port in the storm, etc. But he had girl and guy chances and took the guy door. I'd say he has some interest and curiousity in that area.

Hopefully he is bi and leans a bit more to girls than guys. As simple as that. Here is where talking will help. You need to learn about how much he likes guys too.

Once you get past that you and him have to work out some rules on this. He will slip from time to time. He will probably see it as 'not that bad' as it wasn't a girl. And you have to decide if not being a girl is ok with you or sleeping with anyone is cheating.

The choice is yours. It is unreasonable to say "i dont mind if he thinks about penises or whatever to get horny, i just dont want him ACTING on the feelings!!!". Not fair to you or him. You really don't want him thinking of a guy when having sex with you. You want him enjoying you. Yet you know from time to time he will have a taste for that so find a way to let him.

Of coruse you have to point out safety and such. No sense making your self at risk for his slips.

But accept it has happened twice and will happen again. And deal with that.

BC

I can really see you love this guy because you are in denial with him and keep bringing up the fact that you was with someone else too,but in this situation it really doesn't matter...maybe that would be a factor if he slept with a woman! I personally believes he is gay but hasn't come to terms with it...its one thing to wonder but another to act on it & if he gave a bj @ 13 then he startd young & is gay...maybe I wouldn't say gay if years later he didn't act on his curiosity again! now if I was you I would move on you really don't want to be in a happy relationship & he comes out & says he is gay or you catch him cheating with another man...that would hurt more then than it would now. you can continue to be friends just not on a dating/sexual level. but if you still feel you really want to work it out...give him some space & have him really sit & think about whether he wants to be with you or men! I had a bf once who told me he let a man give him a bj & honestly I stayed in the relationship a lil while longer but couldn't look at him the same way so I had to get out...whatever you do don't just rush back into this think it over & also you need to ask yourself do you really really want to be with him & love him because if you guys loved each other so much why did both of you go & sleep with someone else instead of trying to work on getting back together...just think about it & do whatever your heart tells you to do.

He isn't in the closet if he freely admits it. How can someone be gay if they also like being with women? Thats right,it is impossible. I would go ahead and say he is bi, if you must label him. I would just say he is a horny, horny dude who doesn't mind getting it any way he can. I wouldn't trust him, not because he did it when you broke up, since then you would be untrustworthy too, but obviously this guy is into some stuff you are not.

I'm a curious guy, and I have never blown anyone. Obviously there is more there than curiousity. But that's not really the main issue. If he had done it with twelve women, would that be better? Your question is really: If we get back together, can I trust us both to be monogamous?

Answer: you tell me. What evidence do you have that you can trust him? Is he willing to pledge this? Can you believe him? IF you get married and he never cheats on you but now and then fantasizes, does it matter to you what the fantasy is?

He won't stop, so if U want a boy/girl relationship exclusively, U best be looking elsewhere.

He just wants sex, and he doesn't care how he gets it.

There is a high risk factor for STD with men who swing both ways.

Don't think he will change, no matter what he tells U.

It is up to you. Most guys have those thoughts but never act upon them, but when you start using drugs it makes you loose your self control. If he stays away from the drugs he most likely never act upon those thought again. If you can live with the fact he did that and you trust him not to do it again then give him another shot if not then move on.

why are you confused? It seems like a very open and shut, clear case to me. Do I have to spell it out for you - he's gay. A fruit salad. A closet dweller (well maybe he's partially out). Simple as that. Or bi. Either way, girl friend you gotta move on. Accept him as a gay friend and then you can maintain your friendship and he can still be your best friend, and then you'll be able to shop shop shop w/ him!

You had better rethink that relationship Girl. Not only is the big STD involved as a possibility but you could lose Him to a Guy! Not worth the effort to take a chance on dying.

If he loved you he would not have slept with anyone while you were apart.....you are young....you will be hard pressed to remember his name 10 years from now.....you will meet a guy and say OMG i am so glad i ended it with that one guy and guess what....that too will end....you wil go through probably half a dozen more relationships and each time will think...OMG.....listen...if it were a girl would you still be with him? no you wouldnt.....you are falling for that..i am a confused puppy dog crap.....are you that stupid? do you want a silly confused boy or someone who can raise your chilldren eventually? It does not matter if he is gay or bi or likes to have sex with pop tarts....he does not respect you.....and he is not capable of taking care of himself much less you or any children...